Do any micers know of a fun curvy woman or BBW? But don't even mention the Oudekerksplein bunch.

I need to make a recording of me playing her arse cheeks, like a bongo, for a musical project I am working on.

So do any of you know which of the girls love getting their arse slapped? But they have to be curvy or fleshy - better sound.

Do you think they would be open to the sound being recorded via a field recorder? As I am a sound engineer and this is a legitimate request. Maybe I will send my sperm ferret up her after business is done.

Or perhaps they'd be wondering if Jeremy Beadle would emerge out of a rear door.