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Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-23, 7:28 am

bt12610
Posts: 71
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I read a lot about regulars going to the same girl and I just wanted to know how do you choose not to feel attached and how do you prevent yourself from liking the girl so much that you miss her, especially for those who don't live in Amsterdam.

I feel like a massive pussy for writing this, but I'm emotional and have feelings. Sue me.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-23, 8:04 am

ams2008damPower Kat XXX
Power Kat XXX
Posts: 1767
Location: UK
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It is a very hard subject we wish our favourite girl like us to.You have to remember your paying for her time and performance.She wants you to like her so that you return.


At the end of the day it's business to the girls look at the recent thread on here the lady scam her client.If you can keep it to what it is you will be fine.I visited the same lady everyday of my trips for a few years then she leaves her job and no more contact I felt she like like a old friend.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-23, 8:29 am

Brunettes
Posts: 123
Location: USA
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I view it simply as a transaction. Nothing more and nothing less.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-23, 2:47 pm

tonymunch Power Kat
Posts: 734
Location: brighton, uk
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it is a difficult one. all my favourite/regular girls, i go to because i get on well with them and like them as people (as well as their hotness!). you can't help to feel slightly attached to your favourites, and it is gutting when they move on.

i was gutted when Nina left amsterdam, same when Max left (although i did eventually get to see her in Utrecht a couple of times). i wouldn't say i necessarily miss them when i'm back home - i think i tend to find i miss Amsterdam as a whole - but i do feel sad when a favourite girl leaves and its likely you won't see them again. but thats the way it goes, and have found that when a fave leaves, i have more of a "damn, there goes another one, bugger!" moment than actually missing said girl.

that said though, i'm kinda having this with a girl i've been seeing in the UK for the last couple of years. I used to see her monthly in london, and always had a great time, even going to the pub before/after our sessions and seemingly getting on well as "friends" throughout. shes since disappeared, and as much as i miss seeing her - and this is the point i think - i'm not stupid enough to think that to her (and to the girls in Amsterdam), this was anything other than a business transaction. which is a shame - she did a damn good job at suckering me in, and i fell for it. Yeah, she was that awesome!

however, i do believe to a certain extent that although the girls want repeat business from you, and its in their best interest to make you believe they like you as well to get this business, i do think that if they didn't think you were an OK person, they wouldn't go out of their way to get you to come back.

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Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-23, 8:14 pm

kaiserscouse
Posts: 50
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I think of the girls like barmaids. Some you get on with, some you don't. With those that you do, you'll develop a rapport. You'll have a laugh and a joke and develop a relationship of sorts. Who knows. she may even like you. But you are a customer and she is a vender. Unless you're getting your drinks for free, you're still just a punter. You miss your favorites when they leave but chances are you'll find a new one soon enough.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-23, 8:16 pm

loolz Power Kat
Posts: 567
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tonymunch wrote:
it is a difficult one. all my favourite/regular girls, i go to because i get on well with them and like them as people (as well as their hotness!). you can't help to feel slightly attached to your favourites


This is true and probably very common for most men who do what we do.

If you start getting attached to a girl then I suggest you:

- Think about the money you spend on her
- Think about all the other guys, like you, who she fucks every day
- Think about her motives for this job (usually earn lots of money quick for a particular reason)
- Think about the fact she might (or does) have a boyfriend
- Think about what tony mentioned above: "its in their best interest to make you believe they like you as well, to get this business".

Then you will feel less attached :P

If you visit a girl for a long time you might build up a good friendship with her, which is pretty normal, and maybe do stuff outside the usual kamer situation. For me, it now just feels like I'm visiting a long-distance friend and not much more. When I first started visiting Amsterdam I got really attached to one or two girls but not long after, realised how ridiculous that was.

It helps if you both have a mutual understanding of your visits, where you both know the purpose of your trips is not to "fall in love" with the girl but for her to temporarily take care of your male "tendencies" and have a bit of fun at the same time. (I don't know if this paragraph makes any sense, but it did to me, in my head lol).

If you enjoy your time with a girl, it's only natural to miss her a little when you are back home. There's not much you can do about that except maybe just keep in touch. I think about my visits a lot when I'm back home but not in the sense of 'missing' but more in the sense of 'happy memories' :)

That kinda describes my thoughts, which seem similar to tony's but I don't know if it's the same for others. I think in summary, it's a business transaction but you might make a friend out of it and how you deal with that depends on you. Maybe even think about why you go to Amsterdam in the first place. It also depends on the individual girls and how they deal with clients.

Interesting thread, would be good to see more input.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-23, 8:29 pm

bt12610
Posts: 71
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I think what I struggle most with is the fact that when they do eventually leave, it's forever. You don't know what's happened to them, what they're doing or where they are. Knowing that they are somewhere in the world and not being able to see/talk or be with them is the hardest part.

I'm trying not to sound super creepy and stalkerish, because I'm not. I fully understand it is a business and at the end of the day it comes down to money. That's the way the world works. I'm not naive or ignorant to this.

I constantly find myself thinking I'd so much rather be friends with this girl than just another client. I guess that's the most self destructive part to my thinking - it's always retrospective. I waste my time thinking what I should have said or done. I'd much rather had been her friend and been part of her life than just a temporary euro sign in their life.

I guess I'm just a sucker and have to face the facts.

I'm glad this has sparked some good discussion. I'm thinking about maybe developing some rules so I stop thinking like this... thoughts?
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-24, 1:23 am

DogsAfirePower Kat XXX
Power Kat XXX
Posts: 1337
Location: Michigan, USA
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I haven't really had much of a problem with this. For me, it's like a dog chasing a car - what would the dog do if he actually caught the car? What would I do if I managed to get one of the girls to have feelings for me? How could I make/keep her happy? She is accustomed to seeing so many guys, what could I offer her that's special, day after day?

I would have loved for Nina to be a friend. Nina is the kind of person you would want to have over for a back yard barbeque. If someone were to suggest a game of football, she would be one of the first to jump up and urge everyone else to play. And if skinny-dipping was in order, she would be one of the first in the water for that too.

But a lover? She has far too much energy for me. Same for Max. I would never be able to keep up just hanging out with them, let alone sexually. And Haley, much as I might fantasize about all the various things she might do to me as a lover, would have me in the cardiac ward even faster than those two.

I really miss Nina, but it is the stories and the fun times we had that I miss, more than the sex. She had some special qualities in that department, for sure, and I managed to pick up a couple extra privileges over time that made the sex even better, but even at that, I can't imagine her as a partner. As a next-door neighbor? My dreams come true! But not as a lover. A relationship would just spoil everything.

the dogs
0.02 euros worth
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-24, 1:59 am

tonymunch Power Kat
Posts: 734
Location: brighton, uk
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kaiserscouse wrote:
I think of the girls like barmaids. Some you get on with, some you don't. With those that you do, you'll develop a rapport. You'll have a laugh and a joke and develop a relationship of sorts. Who knows. she may even like you. But you are a customer and she is a vender. Unless you're getting your drinks for free, you're still just a punter. You miss your favorites when they leave but chances are you'll find a new one soon enough.


this is brilliant. absolutely spot on!

_________________
boobs, beer, tattoos and punk rock!
http://tonymunch.blogspot.com
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-24, 2:03 am

tonymunch Power Kat
Posts: 734
Location: brighton, uk
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DogsAfire wrote:
I haven't really had much of a problem with this. For me, it's like a dog chasing a car - what would the dog do if he actually caught the car? What would I do if I managed to get one of the girls to have feelings for me? How could I make/keep her happy? She is accustomed to seeing so many guys, what could I offer her that's special, day after day?

I would have loved for Nina to be a friend. Nina is the kind of person you would want to have over for a back yard barbeque. If someone were to suggest a game of football, she would be one of the first to jump up and urge everyone else to play. And if skinny-dipping was in order, she would be one of the first in the water for that too.

But a lover? She has far too much energy for me. Same for Max. I would never be able to keep up just hanging out with them, let alone sexually. And Haley, much as I might fantasize about all the various things she might do to me as a lover, would have me in the cardiac ward even faster than those two.

I really miss Nina, but it is the stories and the fun times we had that I miss, more than the sex. She had some special qualities in that department, for sure, and I managed to pick up a couple extra privileges over time that made the sex even better, but even at that, I can't imagine her as a partner. As a next-door neighbor? My dreams come true! But not as a lover. A relationship would just spoil everything.

the dogs
0.02 euros worth


great points Dogs, totally understand where you are coming from. I'd never be able to keep up with someone like Max, as a friend or otherwise. not that i wouldn't wanna be friends in "real life" - but i think you've nailed the reality there.

great thread, very enlightening.

_________________
boobs, beer, tattoos and punk rock!
http://tonymunch.blogspot.com
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-24, 2:28 am

kaiserscouse
Posts: 50
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Thanks Tony.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-25, 12:28 am

Anglofil
Posts: 166
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Given I'm a long-term single, say lifetime single, I'm always looking for a gfe. As close to a real girlfriend as possible is my aim. And consequently, I often get too attached to them. Of course everyone finds my story naive. But that's me.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-25, 8:05 am

davey1800Power Kat XXX
Power Kat XXX
Posts: 1377
Location: UK
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What I say to Elodie and Agnieszka (and a few favourites from the past) is that I love them.. in the room... outside the room I forget about them. It's worked for me over the years, and I'm one of those guys that should really have turned into a stalker or somesuch, but managed to keep things realistic ;)
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-25, 5:27 pm

DogsAfirePower Kat XXX
Power Kat XXX
Posts: 1337
Location: Michigan, USA
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I like the barmaid analogy - though I could just as easily fall in love with my barmaid as with one of our girls. But yeah, there are people you meet that you really like and you each enjoy being with each other and you have fun, but then you go home to the rest of your life

Remember guys, part of the reason we pay them is so that they're _not_ there when we get home.

The girls that I have talked with all enjoy sessions where they connect with their clients. They dislike the mechanical jackhammer sex. They don't view us entirely as walking money bags. My favorites all enjoy a good fuck and can really get into it. Does she love me? Hell no, but that doesn't stop her from enjoying a good romp. From my side, I have no problem doing loving things to someone that I don't love in a romantic way. Maybe it's easier in some way for me to separate the two. I know I think differently from most people and my emotional attachment and physical actions are not as highly correlated as it seems to be for most. Somehow it seems to be easier for me than most to separate sex from feelings of attachment. In fact, the fact the the girls have also gotten over the idea that sex = love is also attractive to me. They think more like me. I once told Nina that one of the reasons I liked her is because she thinks about sex the same way I do (quite a discussion after that comment).

davey1800 wrote: "outside the room I forget about them"
I don't forget about them. My times with them are very memorable for me and I enjoy thinking about our sessions frequently after my return. May as well milk a few extra moments out of those euros. But I don't find myself longing for the girl, I just enjoy replaying the video in my head

the dogs
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-27, 11:16 pm

dolf686
Posts: 2
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I became hooked on Sabrina about ten years ago. I would always wait so she was the first girl I was with every day I was there. She would tell me what time she was showing up every day and I would go in and smoke with her while she was getting ready. She gave me the feeling that being with me was almost like a break from her normal grind. I'm sure she was that way with most of her customers but I didn't care. After we were done we'd sit around and smoke and talk for another 20 or so minutes, no rushing me out the door. I was so disappointed when I went back and found out she had moved on to Antwerp. I actually thought about going to Belgium instead of the dam just to see her. I never found another girl in the wallen that compared to her personality-wise. The combination of no Sabrina and no more shrooms was the end of Amsterdam for me. Even after all this time, she's still the greatest girl I've ever met in my life.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-28, 8:09 pm

bt12610
Posts: 71
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Dolf686

How did you find out she left to Antwerp?
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-28, 8:22 pm

dolf686
Posts: 2
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somebody posted it on this site
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-28, 8:31 pm

DogsAfirePower Kat XXX
Power Kat XXX
Posts: 1337
Location: Michigan, USA
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She is in Oostende, a little west of Antwerpen
Visited her there. Big room on the second floor of what might have been a hotel.
Classic Sabrina session. Sit and talk for a while while smoking. Get it on for a bit. Repeat as desired.
Heaven only knows how long I spent in there, but I know it was more than a couple of hours When I asked her about the time, she glanced at her watch and said, "Oh, we're waaaaaaaayyyyy over time." But she didn't want more money. I gave her a tip anyway since I had stayed so long.

the dogs
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-28, 10:15 pm

izziehurix
Posts: 158
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I declare that I am generally very good at keeping my emotions in check. Even when I am truly enjoying myself I am always aware that the experience is a business transaction.

The presence of money, in a sense, helps 'secularize' my relationship with the lady. This also explains why I always tip when I get an above-average session. I counteract my automatic feelings of appreciation with my money so that no excess sentiment is left when I leave the room, as well as no feeling of debt.

My mind and my heart are very good at compartmentalizing things. I am very good at enjoying and cherishing my sexual experiences without getting too attached. If I was not a monger and was better looking and had game then I guess I would be one of those guys who dates a different girl every week without much guilt. And I can still see many different new girls while also dutifully frequenting my 'regulars'.

Things change, however, when a 'regular' suddenly disappears without telling me, or circumstances occur when I had to be away for some time, only to return and find that the lady had retired.

Then I become an emotional wreck.

I suddenly realize that perhaps I had actually been in love with her. Sometimes emotions creep up on you when it is far too late. This has happened to me 4 times. I am always drawn to despair when I realize I will never see them again.
Re: Controlling Emotions.
Posted: 2014-02-28, 10:34 pm

Slim d
Posts: 11
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As a newbie, I have considered this before I start mongering .....
I have to see it as they have something I want and they want my cash, so let's stick with that.
However, it may well be, easier said than done
I wonder if any of the girls think what happened to clients who disappear on them and have a moment or thought to miss any of us ... Being regulars ?
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