I realise that you had a difficult time, but as a person that walked just a tiny bit on your shoes, I have to point out that just one experience will not sort you out - unless you repeat it on a regular basis. And even so... you feel loved for a couple of hours then she has to go (or you) and things are back to square one.

So I see the situation like this:
1. You have a shit load of money: you can find someone not to pretend but to actually love you.
2. You don't have a shit load of money and you have to walk the normal path (and actually the one that will make a better yourself): for anyone to love you, you have to love yourself first. Better spend the money on a proper gym program, get a decent shape. When working out there's alot of good hormones flowing through your veins which will have a tremendous effect on your ability to stay positive-thinking. Stop watching porn for a while, stop masturbating - I assume we all do this.

This is a bit shared from my own experience and it worked. It's really great for anyone to find out how (much) can resist to various temptations (from food to sex)...

All the best mate, cheers!

Good advices from different points of view. And because it's about Amsterdam I have to bring another one. Try mushrooms (truffles) but if you don't know how to do it get some help or do lots of reading before. Don't stay too long in your meditation state. Get real too. And Amsterdam is a very good place to live,feel and enjoy real experiences even some of them they are fake. But not all of them. Shrooms is not a drug. It's something magical and if it's done right it could make you a better person if you want to.

"Shrooms is not a drug. It's something magical..."

There is no magic. They have chemicals in them that function as drugs. They may have been good for you, and for others bad, but in any case no need to mythologize them.

It's just a metaphor like "life is a miracle" or "life sucks", depends on the point of view. But you are right too neurosynth. Definitely they contain some substances. And I have to confess I regret a little bit that I posted this because I don't want to push anyone to do mushrooms. It's true, they could not be good for everyone. It's your choice, but if you decide to give them a try, be very careful and make sure you do your homework before.

+1

Eat less, move more, repeat.

shrooms or truffles should only be used by people who are in a good psychical state.

I think our Asian friend here, with a lot of problems, low self esteem and alone in amsterdam, should definitely not use truffles or shrooms (shrooms are illegal in the Netherlands btw)

I was in amsterdam last weekend, and I would say, I'm pretty experienced with all kinds of drugs, and I even used shrooms/truffles a couple of times Before. But even the weakest product we could find (space shuttle) was strong as fuck, and if I imagine a lonely dude In amsterdam, with no or almost none experience with drugs, this is going to end real bad, for sure!

So please OP, don't do this if you're not sure you can handle this.

Sorry for offtopic..

I think the kind of sex you are looking for is a lot easier to be found in the German FKK scene. Or even the normal "Laufhäuser".

Since last weekend I'm trough with mongering in amsterdam.