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Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-28, 12:51 am

billybob69Supporting Member
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My mongering career started just over ten years ago now, in you guessed it, Amsterdam.
Since then I've moved from having quick sessions whilst on trips with friends / business trips to arranging trips on my own solely for the purpose of having sex. Then I started to spread my wings a little, firstly Alkmaar, then Brussels and Antwerp, now it the Philippines and Thailand.
Overall I'm getting bored with it all, but are still getting drawn back to the need to have sex with attractive women. Ideally I would like to give it up all together.

So my question is to any board member that has successfully done it - how did you quit mongering?

The only solution as I see it is to find a partner that satisfies your physical needs?

bb69

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Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-28, 3:31 am

ThirstyTraveller
Posts: 409
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billybob69 wrote:
The only solution as I see it is to find a partner that satisfies your physical needs


Maybe you answered your own question. IMO.

Cheers!!

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Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-28, 9:13 am

neurosynthPower Kat XXX
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It's tempting to suggest that those who have given it up entirely aren't here anymore. And in fact one important factor in breaking free of addictions or difficult habits is to minimize triggers and opportunities and contact with those with the same behaviors.

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Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-28, 11:13 am

davey1800Power Kat XXX
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If it's an addiction, then it's just best to control it rather than stop doing it completely. Also, running out of money helps.. which is what's allowed me to cut back!
Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-28, 3:45 pm

jefke
Posts: 151
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Yes, I've also achieved to reduce my nr of visits drastically. Coming from a sort of obsessision/addiction I am now more in control.

Like bb69 I just got a bit bored/tired with it. The decline of several dutch RLD's helped too.

Quitting would be near impossible for me. As long as I have no fixed partner it is impossible to fill in my naughty desires without it.
Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-28, 4:41 pm

gazzaSupporting Member
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Posts: 395
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billybob69 wrote:
The only solution as I see it is to find a partner that satisfies your physical needs?

In my case that's exactly why I visit prositutes. I don't see visiting working girls as an addiction at all for myself it's just a means to an end, and I haven't considered quitting punting, although if it became too regular an event and took over my life and finances then that would be another story. Sometimes I need sex and the intimate company of a woman, it's that simple.

I am single and very happy to be so, it suits me and my lifestyle and the last thing I want or need is a serious steady relationship, but what I do need is sex on a semi-regular basis. So to be able to pay and get it when I want and with who I want is great for me.

Unfortunately i'm neither good looking enough or charming enough, and actually can't be bothered enough to try and get sex for "free" by picking up girls in the conventional way. Back to square one, just pay when I've got the urge.

jefke wrote:
Quitting would be near impossible for me. As long as I have no fixed partner it is impossible to fill in my naughty desires without it.

I totally agree, pretty much sums it up for me too.

And speaking of Amsterdam specifically the rlds are a great way to spend the afternoon, but I don't visit Amsterdam specifically for sex. I visit Amsterdam for many reasons. I just love the place and i've got to know many wonderful people over the years who have become friends. The city itself and its nightlife and the aforementioned people are the main reasons I visit often, but the wallen and the singel are admittedly one hell of a bonus!

If I travelled purely for sex I wouldn't need to do so any more. The paid sex scene in my locality in the UK has come on leaps and bounds in the last couple of years and seems to be becoming less stigmatised and more openly accessible. And the quality of girls and the services they provide and value for money quite honestly blows Amsterdam out of the water.

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Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-29, 11:27 am

billybob69Supporting Member
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gazza wrote:
Sometimes I need sex and the intimate company of a woman, it's that simple.

I am single and very happy to be so, it suits me and my lifestyle and the last thing I want or need is a serious steady relationship, but what I do need is sex on a semi-regular basis. So to be able to pay and get it when I want and with who I want is great for me.

Unfortunately i'm neither good looking enough or charming enough, and actually can't be bothered enough to try and get sex for "free" by picking up girls in the conventional way. Back to square one, just pay when I've got the urge.


I guess that I'm in a similar position to yourself and Jefke, in that I just need to be with a women every now and then. It doesn't feel like I have an addiction (but maybe like all addicts, I'm in denial)

But then I think whether it is a need to 'be with a women'?
i.e. any women, because when I'm mongering I always set myself the rule that I only go with girls that I wouldn't be able to get for 'free', i.e. I never session with an average looking girl which I might be able to pick up in bars, clubs etc.
Therefore I wonder if mongering is about having sex or is about having sex with only hot women or is about having sex with as many different women as possible?

It would still be interesting to hear from those that either cut-down or stopped their mongering.

gazza wrote:
The paid sex scene in my locality in the UK has come on leaps and bounds in the last couple of years and seems to be becoming less stigmatised and more openly accessible. And the quality of girls and the services they provide and value for money quite honestly blows Amsterdam out of the water.

I'd be interested to read about puntering in the UK - maybe give an overview or guide in a new thread?

bb69

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Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-29, 2:32 pm

jefke
Posts: 151
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billybob69 wrote:
But then I think whether it is a need to 'be with a women'?
i.e. any women, because when I'm mongering I always set myself the rule that I only go with girls that I wouldn't be able to get for 'free', i.e. I never session with an average looking girl which I might be able to pick up in bars, clubs etc.
Therefore I wonder if mongering is about having sex or is about having sex with only hot women or is about having sex with as many different women as possible?


Speaking for myself it is the combination of physical intimacy, the need to 'be with a woman' and of course sex.
The girl has to be attractive but this comes at 2nd place. She does not need to be a stunner/model/playmate (although it adds to the fun). I've had a period though where it was all about more girls, and more attractive.

I think that here there is difference between men in a relationship and single men. Married men can have intimacy easy,
so their motivation will be more focused on the sex-drive related things (frequency, diversity, more attractive women).

gazza wrote:
Sometimes I need sex and the intimate company of a woman, it's that simple.

I am single and very happy to be so, it suits me and my lifestyle and the last thing I want or need is a serious steady relationship, but what I do need is sex on a semi-regular basis. So to be able to pay and get it when I want and with who I want is great for me.


Same problem for me
As a single middle aged guy it is for me not possible to fullfill the needs mentioned above with just occasional one-night stands.
A 'fuck-buddy' would be theoretically ideal but 1) hard to find 2) potentionally dangerous. Someone may fall in love and you never know who it is going to be. Add to that that we are used to have sex with very attractive women, far outside the reach we could get in normal life.

Quitting:
When quitting a habit you need a good motivation + optionally a replacement. When you want to quit smoking there is a good motivation (health) and there are replacements (nicotine patch, e-cigs etc...). Plus you can be perfectly happy without nicotine after your body is used to *not* having it.

For sex and physical intimacy it is different
- motivation: money is a good one. There are several others depending on your view on prostitution
- replacement: here is the problem. There is no real replacement. (yes I know there are certain manual techniques, they do not count as a replacement)
- if your sex-life is lacking you may become frustrated/unhappy. You will not get used to it.

These are basicly the problems for me to quit. As long as I have the money I will be happier with it than without, but I try to keep it at the minimum.
Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-29, 2:36 pm

gazzaSupporting Member
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Posts: 395
Location: England
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billybob69 wrote:
I'd be interested to read about puntering in the UK - maybe give an overview or guide in a new thread?

I'm not an expert by means i'm afraid, but maybe there is a member here from the UK who is more knowledgeable than me who can help out.

But i'll tell you about the two kinds of experiences i've tried and enjoyed in the last couple of years.

The first is a place i've been to a few times now and I really like it. It's basically the same as a Dutch prive. You ring the door bell and someone will let you in and show you to the lounge where the girls are just hanging out. There can be anywhere between 2 and 6 girls depending. You have a bit of a chat and one of them will bring you a drink and then you choose a girl and off you go.

Each girl i've been with there has offered DFK and bbbj as a standard, it's not classed as an extra and some do cim also. Not sure if every girl has this policy though. Basically anything goes within reason. No limits on positions or amount of orgasms.

The price is 90 UKP per hour (about 110e).

It's a nice and clean and friendly place and all the girls are upbeat and seem very happy in their work.

The other thing is independent escorts who work from their own apartment. I've visited two of these and had great times. Again DFK, bbbj etc. is pretty much a given. The've each cost 100 UKP per hour (about 120e).

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Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2012-11-29, 11:28 pm

amsterman Power Kat
Posts: 1818
Location: London,UK
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jefke wrote:

Quitting:
When quitting a habit you need a good motivation + optionally a replacement. When you want to quit smoking ...... there are replacements (nicotine patch, e-cigs etc...). Plus you can be perfectly happy without nicotine after your body is used to *not* having it.



Along these lines of thought...maybe you could buy a blow up doll ;-) Use it for a fuck when the urges are there. Then when you get either bored of that one or need to replace it, then instead of getting a better one, get an uglier and lower quality one!!! This will gradually reduce your desire to get out your newfound companion and go to the hassle of blowing her up and soon enough you will be cured having weaned yourself off gradually :-)

Also, you could try reducing the size of the blow hole so you have to put so much effort into "getting her up" that you just can't be bothered and your urges all subside!!!

As for the UK punting scene, there has been plenty of advice around these parts. Look through the "Other Cities:Europe" forum.

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I am just addicted to beautiful women ;-)....

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Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2013-04-30, 6:30 am

Mojito
Posts: 333
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Don't retire completely immediately...just try to limit your visits year on year. From 5 per year down to 4, then 3 etc. Slow but sure method.
Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2013-05-07, 11:41 am

sabull
Posts: 52
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lol

neurosynth wrote:
It's tempting to suggest that those who have given it up entirely aren't here anymore. And in fact one important factor in breaking free of addictions or difficult habits is to minimize triggers and opportunities and contact with those with the same behaviors.
Re: Any tips to retire from Mongering?
Posted: 2013-05-29, 9:16 pm

Trav69
Posts: 264
Location: Travelling
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gazza wrote:

The first is a place i've been to a few times now and I really like it. It's basically the same as a Dutch prive. You ring the door bell and someone will let you in and show you to the lounge where the girls are just hanging out. There can be anywhere between 2 and 6 girls depending. You have a bit of a chat and one of them will bring you a drink and then you choose a girl and off you go.

Each girl i've been with there has offered DFK and bbbj as a standard, it's not classed as an extra and some do cim also. Not sure if every girl has this policy though. Basically anything goes within reason. No limits on positions or amount of orgasms.

The price is 90 UKP per hour (about 110e).


Hey Gazza - what city is this in? Do you have a link to share? I'm in London and this sounds interesting .....

Cheers

Trav
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