Frequently Used Terms
A sometimes irreverent glossary of frequently used terms, words, and abbreviations pertaining to this website and its subject matter. If you have contributions to offer or feel a correction is needed to this glossary, please email them to us, using the contact form linked at the top of this page.
Amsterdam Call Girls, escort agency in Amsterdam.
The Amsterdam football club, "soccer" to N. Americanos. Impress your Dutch friends by pronouncing "Ajax" as it is meant to be pronounced: Eye-Ox.
A resident of Amsterdam.
(Small Amsterdammers) - Poles used to divide roads and walkways shaped like, what else, really big penises. In use since 1972, and like that other big phallic symbol, the Eiffel Tower of Paris, they have come to symbolize the city. Unlike the Eiffel Tower they are now being removed and will disappear shortly. Maybe.
Amsterdam XXX / The Walletjes.
1. The name of this site.
2. The first Internet website (dealing with one of the main reasons many men visit the city in the first place), to make the coy connection between the popularly understood meaning of 3 X's; adults only, and the use of the 3 crosses of St. Andrew which often follow the name "Amsterdam" when used by the city, or, when used alone, symbolize it.
3. Now a popular keyword and/or title used by porn sites who'd never heard of the place, because why should they leave Florida?.
4. Nazi wannabes who think they own the red light district.
1. Without condom.
2. Horse riding without saddle (seldom the meaning at this site, unless one is being really rude and gets ones kicks with large unattractive women).
Bareback Blowjob. Not common, but increasingly possible, in the RLD. It's a standard practice at the FKK's in Germany.
Bareback Fuck. Almost non-existent in the RLD. Let's be truthful though, it happens.
Bondage Domination Sado Machosism.
Best Friends Forever. Should pass out of fashion in another month.
Fear of riding bikes in town, a malady confined to tourists.
Blowjob. Oral sex performed on a man, most commonly by a girl.
Let's not go there.
(Bruin=brown) The traditional cafe and bar style in Amsterdam. Interior in dark wood, smoke-stained walls, carpets on table tops. In June 2008, smoking will be banned, no more new brown cafes.
Messageboard-chatroom speak, keyboard abbreviation meaning "By The Way".
Also known as Marijuana, Pot, Weed, Reefer, Mary Jane, Da Kine, Ganja, Buds, Dubs, Doob*, Doobie*, Joint*, Spliff*, 420, Weed, Cannabis, Ganja, Hooch, Buddah, Pot, Grass, Sticky, Greens, Chronic, Mull, Geba, Electric Spinach, Dak, Dope, Wacky Backy, and about 150 other iterations. * when rolled in papers.
1. Cigar bar.
2. Tourist trap.
3. Home of the most unerotic performances available on the planet.
4. Place to throw away €, for whatever price the doorman-tout thinks he can get, if he's conned you into believing he's giving you a "special deal".
Famous tram number 20. A tram line that conveniently circles the city with stops at many locations that are of interest to visitors, beginning and ending at Centraal Station. Sadly, it's no longer operating.
A girl who becomes a complete stranger after 10-15 mins, as she hustles you out the door as fast as she can.
Cafes that are legally licensed to sell "illegal" soft drugs. Rarely does one patronize a coffeeshop to buy coffee.
At the end of Bethelhemsteeg there are indoor windows with around 10 girls. (Not related to above description of covered, so not an area covered "with condoms". The "covered area" has a name—"La Vie En Rose". "Covered area" is only used by the dafties who post on this website and don't know what to call it.
CS, Centraal Station
Main train station, the place full of trains without the art. Looks very similar to the Rijksmuseum, the place full of art without the trains; both designed by same architect in late 19th century. Yes, really.
Oral sex performed on the female sexual organs; pussy licking. Meow.
The main commercial street of Amsterdam which starts at Centraal Station and runs to Dam Square (De Dam)--it's the one street to avoid in all of Amsterdam, unless you're a pickpocket.
Abbreviation meaning "Dining At The Y". Cunnilingus, in other words.
De Rode Draad ( The Red Thread )
1. Sex workers foundation serving the interests of prostitutes and (ex-)sexworkers.
2. An organization nearly, but not quite, as useless as P.I.C.
Deep French Kissing. Kissing with tongue insertion. Hold the mayo.
Dutch (Amsterdam) slang word for Bye = Ciao = Salut = Ha de' = Hej då =.
Sex position. Girl on hands and knees, man from behind. Woof!
Double Penetration. Not Director of photography—not around here anyway.
Greeting kiss. Three kisses on the cheeks. Left - Right - Left.
Euro. €. The ghastly name for the new currency which is shared by most EU countries as of January 1, 2002. Great Britain, Sweden, and Denmark are holding out for awhile due to nationalistic chauvinism. When they are done wasting everyone's time, they too will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Euphemism for a prostitute who comes to you (Outcall), usually through the services of an escort agency.
Ubiquitous Dutch fast food/automat chain whom ignorant tourists and recent immigrants scoff at as a demonstration of their superior taste—and then head for McDonalds. Popular with locals and pigeons.
Oral sex performed on the penis, Blowjob.
Dutch word for bicycle. All Dutch have one, and ride them without fear for their life. Together with the Trams they can be a serious threat to an unknowing or "happy" Amsterdam visitor. Secret nom-de-plume for an obscure, nearly living, Dutch composer.
Sex act. Hand in vagina.
A German term which translates as "Free Body Culture"— a nude resort. It also refers to certain German brothels, which also carry the name. FKK Salz, for example.
Florin. Old currency. Replaced by Guilders (NLG). Florin Old currency, abbreviated FL. Both replaced by Euro (€), which became common currency of all European Union countries as of January 1, 2002
Deep kissing with tongue.
What North Americans know as "soccer", Although European football is primarily played with the players feet and is a game of speed and agility, the North American game is chiefly concerned with incremental territorial gain achieved through lumbering violence. Ironically enough the game of European soccer serves as an inspiration for extreme violence in the form of nationalistic belligerence and frenzied beer guzzling amongst its fans.
Service including sex.
Genever (also Jenever). Foul alcoholic beverage (like gin, it's derived from the Juniper berry) that only the Dutch could love, often mixed by the natives with diet Coke to mask its nasty flavour.
Peculiarly untranslatable Dutch word that means something like "cozy", but not necessarily.
Girl Friend Experience. Meaning: a more than friendly and social connection with the lady you're paying to have sex with. (As opposed to being nagged at for forgetting to buy milk, or staying out too late, which falls into the category of the NWE. See below.)
A hole in the wall for sticking ones most favourite organ to allow anonymous felatio from total strangers, or to perform such on anonymous organ donors. Most often located in that most erotic of sexual venues, men's toilets (sometimes peep show booths). Other men are usually involved.
Slang for condom."No glove, no love"
Sex involving urinating.
1. Anal sex
2. A Greek person
Dutch word meaning:"Greetings". Commonly used to sign letters or, why not, message board posts.
New currency, abbreviated NLG. Replaced Florins. Replaced by Euro (€), which became common currency of all European Union countries as of January 1, 2002.
Money exchange company.
Relief by masturbation administered by (usually) a willing female.
A term to describe a brief 20 year period in the 17th century that the Dutch can't get over. Also known as the Golden Age.
Dutch variety store chain.
Capital city. (Amsterdam)
Generic description for a red light district. Literally "Whore neighbourhood".
Someone who often goes and has sex with a window prostitute. It literally means "Whore-walker".
Iocaine Posion. (Not to be mistaken for Yocoine!)
Messageboard/chatroom-speak abbreviation meaning "In My Humble Opinion".
When you visit a prostitute at her, generally private, location. Not used when visiting sexsaunas, parenclubs, sexclubs, or automobiles in some dark ally.
The harbour; the big wet blue shimmery thing that separates Amsterdam from Amsterdam found behind the big building that looks like the Rijksmuseum, but isn't full art.
Computer communications protocal designed for the US Military to safeguard the delivery of pornography to your home in the event of nuclear holocaust.
(also Genever) Dutch liquor. Everyone who likes diesel fuel will love the tast of it! No, seriously, it's worth a trial.
NOT Kramer, for Christ's sake! Kamer translates as cabin—especially the little rooms the window girls work in. Kramer is the idiot on Seinfeld.
Dutch slang meaning: Son of a bitch. Literal meaning is "testicle sack". Also refers to Amsterdam Mayor Job Cohen.
Official "tolerated" outlet for cannabis products.
La Vie En Proost
Stripclub at the end of Bethlemsteeg in the Wallen.
La Vie En Rose
The indoor brothels at the end of Bethlemsteeg, often referred to by members of our Message Board, and no one else, as the "covered area".
Messageboard/chatroom-speak, keyboard abbreviation meaning "Laugh Out Loud.". Often used, rarely actually done. Used as filler in chats when one correspondent has nothing to say in reaction to lame attempts at humour by the other correspondent.
Dutch term meaning media-horny. Used most often to describe the founder of P.I.C. (Prostitution Information Centre).
Another fun acronymn. Literally, "Mother I'd Love to Fuck". Used to refer to women of a certain age, whether an actual mother or not. Subject to bizarre mis-use such as: "I'd really love to fuck that MILF!"
Affectionate nickname for the city of Amsterdam; Yiddish origination.
1. Means of payment.
2. What you never have enough of.
3. A good thing to have in the RLD.
4. What you can't get any of because all the cash dispensing machines are out of order.
They're used for pizza, more potent versions are sold in smart shops.
Tiny country lacking in nearly all natural resources except vast forests of ambiguity. Mostly harmless.
Favoured term to describe the citizens; Hollander is another. Dutch is disliked because of its resemblance to Deutch (German).
Neuken and Pijpen
Fuck and suck.
Word invented by SirJava to describe the potential dangers of the Amsterdammetjes, which he alone has the knack of banging into.
Near Wife Experience. Companion term to GFE; its opposite. Would typically be used if an RLD girl was to nag you about forgetting the milk, taking out the trash, attempting to provoke guilt for who knows what---or was otherwise just a complete plank in bed.
Noisy and crowded pub in the Wallen RLD.
When a prostitute comes to you at your location.
Main canal/street in the Wallen RLD. Also: OzV
Oudezijd Voorburgwal OZZ Interactive
1. A large unethical design firm composed of hacks, based in Amsterdam 2. Those hacks who cut and paste content from other websites such as this and sells the ready made pre-packaged sites to clients such as Netherlands Board of Tourism and Amstel Bier.
Dutch term meaning literally, "adultclub". Swingers club.
1. Prostitution Information Centre. Organisation whose chief goal is to stay in business through the sale of trinkets.
2. Where clueless media hacks and other tourists go when seeking info on the Wallen.
3. An organisation located immediately in the Wallen whom most of the prostitutes working in the windows around it have never heard of.
4. Outlet used to satisfy the media horniness (mediageil) of its founder, who's all too happy to spout off her tired and equally clueless and out of touch expertise.
1. The Pijp district is one of the small RLD's; name derived from the long straight streets in the area (straight as a pipe) which were a novelty when built.
2. Dutch slang for penis. (Coincidence?)
To give a blowjob. "Die muts kan me toch lekker pijpen!" ("That girl gives great head!")
Used to describe a male who lives off of the earnings of a prostitute, or exploits one. Illegal in Holland, they are prosecuted, but many prostitutes have "bad-boyfriends'; males who live off of their earnings and exploit them, but technically this is a private matter and legally their own business. Whilst in a kamer, you'll often find yourself in close proximity to one, when they inevitably make their phone call, deliberately intruding themselves into the time that you have paid for.
Every city has its village idiots, we have ours...the police. Famous for amongst other things, being the Nazi occupiers best friends during the occupation years, and more recently, the December 2000 execution-style mass murder at the Japanese restaurant Kobe, which happened right under their noses as a station house is just across the street. In their favour, they do look really cool on rollerblades.
TS that has had the "sex reassignment" operation. Pre-op TS has not had an operation.
Dutch word meaning: Private House. Brothel. No bar. Privacy is the key word. You do not meet other clients.
1. Queen Beatrix
Celebrated April 30 across the country. In Amsterdam it's an excuse for an especially raucous city-wide party and fleamarket. Celebrates Princess Juliiana's birthday, the present Queens Mother, and former Queen (1948-1980). Recently deceased, 20 March 2004.
Dutch term used to describe the practice of window prostitution. Refers to the tiny rooms with big windows in which the prostitutes display themselves.
Slang for condom. (Also a piece of clothing that may be handy in Amsterdam. It DOES rain a bit in this town by the Atlantic coast.)
Common way of misspelling RLD. A typo generated by the close proximity of "r" and "d" on the keyboard. And maybe liquor.
Sex act involving application of tongue to anus.
Red Light District
(Red Thread) Prostitutes rights and lobbying organization.
A boat ride through the canals. You get on and off at the same location---round trip.
Red light district.
Messageboard/chatroomspeak meaning: Rolling On The Floor Laughing. As if anyone ever has.
Suck & Fuck. The common phrase used in the RLD to describe Blowjob and Sex.
Double penetration, Man-Woman-Man. Man-Man-Man. Woman-Man-Woman. Woman-Woman-Woman. Man-Sheep-Man. Sheep-Man-Fish. Sometimes also two pieces of bread with a little something in the middle.
See brown shower, above.
1. The search function (or archive) on this site.
2. The place you're angrily referred to when asking particularly original questions that have never been thought of before by anyone, or ever written about extensively on this site or the message board.
A former peepshow in the Wallen.
Another name for Den Haag (The Hague), the seat of government of the Netherlands (Amsterdam is the capital). Both names are used interchangeably. Literally means "the hedge"; the original settlement was built within the hedge which formed the boundary of some 11th century count by the name of William.
British slang term for fuck. Now you know what the subtitle of that awful Austin Powers film meant.
Transsexual, man who dresses like a woman, are using hormones and has breasts; a pre-op.
Mushrooms. Mild hallucinogenic. Also used for the pizza.
Singel RLD. Located on, and in the vicinity of the Singel canal. Singel is not to be confused with the outermost canal, also called Singel, except the innermost canal of which we speak is called "Singel", in the singular, while the outermost is called "Singel Canal". Get it? Okay, no one does.
Shop where you can buy Mushrooms, Space Cookies, etc.
1. A sexual position where each partner stimulates the sexual organs of the other with his or her mouth, not really resembling a horizontal 6 and 9. A literal translation of the equivalent French expression "soixante-neuf".
2. The numerical sequence of 69 occurs in Pi at 40 th place. As most people know the sequence to 40 digits, we're telling you something you already know---unless, however, you do not know because you have misused your life playing Quake or surfing web sites like this.
Marijuana and hash based drugs.
Space Cookie, Hash Cookie.
Sex position. Both man and girl lying on the side, with the man behind. Sometimes thought of as "cuddling", best avoided when paying by the minute.
Sexual Transmitted Disease. Use condoms!
Dutch term. A strip of tickets used for the trams and buses.
Taxi drivers get most clubs to pay kickbacks, €75.-, when they bring customers to the clubs. Exceptions are Parenclubs and Privehuis's
A bar with well-developed bar girls. Similar to the U.S. Hooters, but without the depressing attitude. Prolonged exposure will result in alcoholism and hearing impairment.
Transgender. Men who dress like women, are possibly using hormones, and sometimes have breasts---sometimes also a penis. Can be used to describe either pre-op or post-op.
Dutch greeting kiss. Three kisses on the cheeks. Left - Right - Left.
An experimental area for street prostitution located on Theemsweg, access was by automobile. It's now closed.
Dutch phrase meaning: "Good bye" as in "see you again".
Electric-powered city trains. Wonderful public communication. (But don't get your bicycle tires caught in their tracks!)
Transsexual, Men who dress like women, are possibly using hormones, and sometimes have breasts---sometimes also a penis. Can be used to describe either pre-op or post-op.
1. A private term used by the moderators of the message board to describe those who ask questions, quite common, whose only answer is to scroll down a few lines because it was just asked and answered.
2. One who is told to use the search archive for similar reasons because there are probably 10,000 posts answering the question.
3. One who doesn't give a damn about reading anything anywhere on this site and insists upon being spoon fed.
Transvestite. Man who dresses like a woman, whether out of compulsion or choice, but who has no intention of actually undergoing sex reassignment procedure and surgery.
Uncovered without condom. Dutch= "zonder condoom ".
Value added tax.
Value For Money. So-and-so provide fantastic VFM.
1. Well funded "official" website (or suckers), who paid big money to Ozz Interactive to create impossibly confusing, therefore useless websites, consisting of plagiarized material stolen from sites such as this one.
Keyboard symbol for female crotch.
The tourist office. Can book hotel rooms. A very good way to find hostels and cheaper hotels on short notice.
Also: Keyboard symbol for 3 female crotches.
de Walletjes, de Wallen
Names for the main RLD. Wallen is the written form, Walletjes is spoken. (It's a Dutch language thing---why ask why?) Taken from the ancient city walls which stood where the Oudezijd Achterburgwal and Oudezijd Voorburgwal canals now sit, flow, float, or whatever it is canals do. Also referred to collectively as de Burgwallen. Factoid: The use of "Walletjes" as used in our site title was a design issue. We simply liked the way it looked against the longer word "Amsterdam XXX"--- English language speakers would not know the difference. And still don't.
Sex involving urinating.
Marijuana. It's not used to refer to that green stuff that grows on your lawn---not on this website.
The RLD girls operate in rooms with large windows in which they display themselves.
Woman of the World. Escort agency in Amsterdam really deserving of the gratuitous plug this listing brings, unlike ACG, which is just there because there isn't very much to list under the "A" category.
1. Term used to describe one engaged in the profession of prostitution, usually derogatory in intent.
2. The one word that it is forbidden to use on the message board if one desires to continue posting.
World Wide Wait, World Wide Waste (of time). Sometimes also World Wide Web. The World Wide Web uses the Internet to create a network of information, made up of documents ("Web Pages") containing pornography and advertising, tied together with usually non-functional hyperlinks to occupy yourself with while you await downloads of pirated music.
Crosses, actually. The three crosses which appear vertically following the name of the city on nearly everything connected with the city of Amsterdam, from flags, official heralds, amsterdammertjes, municipal garbage trucks, portable toilets, etc. Originates with the cross of Saint Andrew, said to resemble the type of cross he was crucified on. A medieval landowning family once owned a great deal of waterlogged swampland in what became Amsterdam and its vicinity and from whose family crest it's thought to be taken apparently had a black sense of humour during these plague infested times, their meaning for the crosses is said to be : "Fire, Plague, Pestilence". Over time it evolved to something a bit more palatable to the vanity and self-esteem of the good burghers of the time. In March 1947, the heroic position the people of Amsterdam had taken during the German occupation in 1940-1945 led queen Wilhelmina to add to the coat of arms the legend: Heroic, Resolute, Compassionate, their present meaning. (The loss of 91 out of every 100 Dutch Jews to the concentration camps, out of a Jewish population estimated at 80,000, may cause one to ponder just what position was so heroic! Perhaps bent over, ass up?). Y
According to the proprietors of the brothel of the same name, it means "divine union"; pretentious fancy talk for "good fuck", which of course is what you will get if you visit this pretentious place; a good fucking ( but not in the sense of a good shagging ).
Messageboard/chatroomspeak abbreviation meaning, "Your Mileage May Vary".
Sexual stimulantia. (Also known as "Zeze-fuel")
We do not like to favor any users. And we have not in this listing of Frequently Used Terms listed any of our users. But of course we have to make an exception. If nothing else just to explain the expression "Zeze-fuel" under the listing of Yocoine. Zeze was a member during the summer 2000, and made a fantastic series of personal posts. A full record of this series of posts is available on the site. Also,we're a bit pressed to think of any more relevant words to list under "Z".
Another gratuitous listing because we just thought of it and it looks better to have two listings for "Z" An agency which maintains a rotating schedule of "escorts" into Amsterdam from Eastern European countries whose primary specialty appears to involve near condom-free services.