Oh well, my attempt at Bernd's misfiring...
Thought about Happy Garden, where it all started for me - but read not-so good things on other boards.
Goldentime - nope. Just the whole Venlo border crossing thing, and not having scoped out a place to stay...

off to ye ol' reliable YinYang then.
Haven't been in 3 years, so my surprise at the renovations.
Lobby all chandeliered up now, and the dining room moved to the ground floor.
Sauna, steam room, jacuzzi all still there, and most enjoyable.
Food was the best I've ever had in a club - cream of something soup, roast pork loin, liver steaks, lamb cutlets in a peppery sauce, corn on the cob, moist chicken pieces, fresh fish filets, mashed potatoes, three kinds of salad, ice cream and apple pie...
Something about the open kitchen and seeing chefs cooking on site made it more enjoyable.

As for the entertainment - Bulgarian Romanian optifucks galore, except for one African, an Asian-looking girl with green eyes,and two Dutch MILF types. You know the scene, hanging out in groups, everyone in these ridunkulous high pumps, smoking like chimneys, and uniformly bad acne from too much makeup. And godawful twerking ghetto ho impersonations while hand-signalling you-me-blowjob from across the terrace outside...can it get any more non-erotic than that?..

Took me three hours before I could cull things down to Kati, a 5'7" 36c natural doe-eyed Romanian Barbie,
who was soft-spoken enough for me to fantasize about a girl next door.
Course she waited until I was in her soft wet mouth to tell me it'd be an extra 50euros to come in her mouth.
Finally, to top off a rather unsatisfactory non-Bernd's day, the most normal girl I could find.
Nikki Romanian (came down from Living Room) - an hour at 100euros - lots of nice french kissing, a thoroughly enjoyable daty and a sensational bbj, but pulled out as I came.

Left at 1:30 guys were still coming in....
As one graduates from RLDs to Alkmaar to Leeuwarden to prives to sauna clubs to FKKs, so have my tastes changed, it seems.
Bernds' or something similar it is next time. Or none at all.

Guava,

Good for you. It wasn't Bernd's, but it is better than no FKK at all!
I like the IDEA of YinYang, with the possibility of a toke in the garden, but I never became a fan.
I share your concerns about crossing at Venlo, but despite all the stories I've heard, I have never had a problem.
Haven't thought about LIving Room lately. Hmmmmm....

Weasel

Smart man, Guava.

The DB personnel operating between Venlo and Kaldenkirchen work like mobs. Unless you have the International train ticket which includes the premium for border crossing, you need to buy 2 train tickets (one for the supplement) to go one stop! Otherwise, they will force you to pay 60 euros.

Glad to hear the renovations at YY. I have not been there for over 10 years. I last fucked a girl there literally on the floor behind some perforations. :)

Regards,
Fred

Yin Yang? isn't this the little Thai massage parlour in De Wallen? by the restaurant?

I'll have to admit being quite fond of Yin Yang, been there maybe 2-3 times now and it was my first FKK/Saunaclub experience. There's a slightly different vibe between there that I can't quite place.

If I think of the places I've been to recently:
Palace: Overall quite sharky, higher prices, some stunners but a lot of not quite so lovely.. Some favourites there but definitely a bit of attitude
Sharks: Generally young and comparably more enthusiastic, definitely more upbeat and relaxed atmosphere, much higher volume
Mainhattan: Crowded, a bit more rowdy, almost a bit of a party atmosphere
YinYang: Aside from the main bar room, rest of the place feels like a men's spa, the bar though feels like a mini stripclub/nightclub.. Girls can get pushy and you start avoiding the area when you're not ready

thanks gents for the replies.
I think, all things considered, that YY still stands as the most easily accessible club,
and the gentlest for newbies.
With so many different girls rotating, it's almost impossible to get a definitive fix
on what makes a club different from the next.
With YY, the steam, sauna, jacuzzi, and nail salon still take up more space than the rest of the place,
and the grounds amenable to firing up your spiff without getting caught.
In other words, enough space for escaping and genuinely relaxing, away from the sex part.

Which is why the bar area has in fact become the business area.
Your mere presence there signals to the girls that you're now available; thereafter, moving to the terrace right away
signals that you're undecided as to who to pick - thus, the inevitable 2-3 girls that will follow
you to your table - just to say hello.
Which is another thing I missed. In the old days, you knew that if you were in the jacuzzi and a girl came over and joined you, that the dance of seduction had commenced, and the chat and sizing up of each other that followed would
always lead to better sex.

One thing I do like, and one I made sure to be patient for, is girls who normally would work in
Palace or Living Room but who've come to YY. Somehow I think they're looking for a different environment -
non-pushy or less competitive. Not sure, but I think girls like that end up giving a better experience.
Certainly shows a brain at work, at least.

Also new was my attitude. Since Bernd's was a no-go, I came with lowered expectations.
Seeing that the whole scene was bopping with optifucks confirmed the wisdom of that,
and I settled back and was able to easily say no. And found that I was no longer intimidated,
or felt the need to lower my profile, and in fact walked like I owned the damn place.
I felt so relaxed that I considered the possibility of not having any sex at all, and being ok with that.
now that's fucked up.

Girls, who almost always have their radar on, picked up on that, as if signals had been sent, and well copied.
Funny how the two I ended up with told me later, blow by blow, my exact movements since I arrived.

A hilarious moment was when I took a place at the bar, turned around on my stool to face a wall of 8 ladies
staring back at me. I went from left to right, and with everyone understanding everybody, I went no, no, maybe, no, no, yes but later, no, hell no...all with my eyes and an arched eyebrow. Then we all burst out laughing.
Safe to say, I am now a citizen of the FKK republic, I guess.

As I said, my tastes seem to have focused now on the essentials - a fresh experience with real women, not sex dolls - who possess good technique and a maximum of enthusiasm, of service with a smile, or no deal, with no ambiguities or games about my getting more than what I paid for (to be tipped later), and with women with the brains to say yes to anything I come up with, on-demand, in the moment.
(as I write this, I've decided to come back to the EU in October for Bernds haha). I am what I want.

Will post a Ghent RLD and Brussels RLD report later.

hiya Weasel,
I am now officially living through you - and am counting on details from your upcoming Bernds visit.
May Dionysius bless your journeys with sensory overload.

hey Fred,
seems to me strange that you, an OG, would have not been to YY in ten years.
which brings me to - are there any other places like Bernds scattered about quietly in the border areas?
Places with no more than ten girls, that maybe blur the line between club and prive?
I figure- why not do my research, since I know what I want.

One final upside I discovered was this: my Bernd's mishap led to my calling up lost Benelux friends to reconnect.
Which led to making new friends with all the best types - a longshoreman (who also writes poetry); a high-end chef with a criminal past...etc...in short, locals with the skinny on secret pleasures, available only to certain locals even.
All that now in my pocket, with the expectation of more, when I return.
all the best,
your honorary flemish mofo.

Hello Guava,

I prefer the big clubs like World, Palace and Sharks.

YY was a bit small for me and it's not a target rich environment.

I have never been to Bernds. I am not interested in what they have to offer. I can get such experience with younger and younger girls in or near Frankfurt.

Speaking of the confidence exhibited when you walk around the clubs, the girls can definitely tell the difference between the easy victims versus the seasoned inspectors. Last Monday at Palace, a young Dutch visitor from Rotterdam made his first visit and he was sitting on the edge of the bar stool while his friend went to the room. We started talking and a couple girls walked by. He was trying to use me as a shield. Of course, I told those two Romanians that they should take him to the zimmer.....

Have fun!

Regards,
Fred

P.S. Weasel, there is actually another S&M room at Sharks, right underneath the big fish / shark tank? Also, the Hand at Palace has been waiting for you. I hope you like to receive...... Ha Ha.....

hiya Fred - haha I hear you.
and just to be clear - I'm sure I will always make hay even where the sun don't shine.
But right now - I'd like to experience NOT having to wade through a Palace-ful of options.
Just the 3-8 in a small house. That'll do.

and hey Weasel - just only now looked at that Babylon of yours. I know I've seen it from the train,
seemed kinda dowdy - but hey, whaddya know, they got profiles and comments on their roster.
and there's more than a few there.
wow, I may have to rethink Bernds and maybe read up on all that info first.
cheers,
Guava (who is now contemplating yet another call to Delta to yet again change his departure date).
shameful shit haha.

I think Gaston led me to Babylon years ago.
I like it for a few hours, but it isn't condusive to a long relaxing day out.
Food and facilities are not bad, and the crowd is friendly, if a little aggressive.
I like to sit at the bar and drink Bourbon with the owner. The girls don't dare interrupt when we are teling stories, which is nice. Unfortunately, If I have too much Bourbon, the girls won't get ANY attention!
I'm torn between Bernd's and Babylon this trip. I don't think I have the stamina for both.
I have never been to Sharks, and I have not been to any of the big Frankfurt clubs in years.
I'm confident that Sexslavinnen night will satisfy enough power and control fantasies for this trip.
The rubber fist will have to get along without me for another year.
I have to admit that the dark steamy hidden room near the showers at Sharks seems like just my thing...

Weasel

Guava,

Have you tried Samya in Koln? You can take the ICE train and forget about the hassle of border crossing between Venlo NL and Kaldenkirchen, DE on those dirty and old stone ages junk. :)

In terms of Youth Development, the big club has a big advantage. You can take 3 ready and willing gorgeous babes to the room for simultaneous inspection without the other men screaming. :) Yes, the in-room shower in the attached photo can fit 4 adults! So is the red and black race car bed.

Weasel,

Are you talking about the S&M room on the first floor next to the Indian theme room at Sharks? There is a swing set and you can sit on top and suck lolli pop with you girls. :) I walked by last Saturday and did not notice any steam coming out of that room.

The almost brand new steam room is right by the even newer sauna rooms.

The UR3 realistic hand/fist in Frankfurt waits for your visit. Until then....

Regards,
Fred

Fred,
yes I've been to Samya. Didn't really make much of an impression, layout and ladies-wise.
I'll be in the Hague this Friday, and did some research.
Diane's - been there before 5 years ago?
Casa Cherda, which I always had the impression was some skanky joint with overweight Spanish milfs,
seems radically different, based on their website.
Quite interesting - it looks, and feels like a small sauna club, with public action encouraged.
The private rooms seem more than decent, and the lineups quite good.
Apparently, its 70euros entrance, wc buys you one 30min session, and another 70euros thereafter for sessions.
Might check this one out.

a quick Ghent report - in Other...Europe...

Thanks for the report. Any idea which train to take from Centraal Station? How far the club is from the train? How much a return ticket is and how late is the last ride back to Amsterdam?

It's usually the train to Utrecht then change to the local to s'Hertegonbosch sumthin. Roermond is like the 5th stop from Utrecht. I usually buy from the the ticket office
as I always seem to have trouble with my US credit cards at the machines. Roughly 42 euros round trip
and I think last train to AMS around 10:00pm. I usually stay the night. It's not like Alkmaar round trip.
More like 2 1/2 hrs travel each way. Missed that damn last train once in winter and all hotels booked solid.not cool at all.

Just to add to Guava's excellent info. Taxi from Roermond station to yin yang costs around €13-15 each way and there's always been a few taxi's waiting just outside the station entrance, they will order you a taxi at yin yang for the return trip..just ask at reception. Trains run roughly both ways around every half hour. I've been lucky enough to find myself on direct trains every time i have travelled but as Guava says sometimes you have to change at Utrecht. I would advise staying the night in Roermond.

and to add - I once stayed at a Hotel de Pauw in the city center. Real basic and clean for about 40-50euros.
But really, the best option, and my go-to place, for 80euros is Hotel Roermond, directly across the station,
and above a restaurant. Clean newly renovated modernist rooms and an excellent free breakfast spread.
Easy after-hours entrance by a side door with your room key card. They were renovating the hotel as of last month.
Best to call and book, as they almost always are full, esp. on weekends with internal Dutch tourism.
I also generally just get one-way tickets, so as to be uncommitted.
Just really love the notion of being free to go anywhere in Belgium or Germany from Roermond.
I haven't done it, but I believe you can also go a bit farther and be in Venlo, and onto GT or Happy Garden from there.

I stay at hotel roermond too Guava. I have never been to golden time but i think it's only about 30 minutes away by car. Perhaps I'll go some day. Cheers

This is my fear when engaged in this type of adventure, hasn't happend yet. Did I just tempt fate?
So, what did you do???

It was also a Sunday.
So after the last bar and pizza joint closed,
I sat my cold ass, all alone, at the station til 5:30am
when the first train of the day rolled in.
Not a nightmare by any means. and kinda cool, in a strange way.
PS: I should add that it was a freak accident. I normally book a hotel ahead,
or a cabbie always knows a place somewhere. That night, I just didn't care.