The usual trip report from Prague would start with a description of the breath-taking beauty of this city, Charles Bridge, the Castle, the Old Town, and the works. And maybe at the end a short smirking description of the sex scene, that thing that some "other" people may have been interested in, but "we" definitely were not.

Of course the AXXXTW description of the city is slightly different, which is very probably why you're here in the first place. Not that we did not enjoy the beauty of the city, quite the opposite. The main reason to go there should be the city itself, arguably one of the most beautiful places on this planet. The lack of a Thesaurus tempts us to use unsparingly the word "beautiful" throughout this page, but it is well deserved. Trust us.

Prague was fortunate to not be exposed to the general mass destruction of the world wars that ravaged Europe, and it was also spared to a large extent the Communist functional architecture during its "coziness" period with Moscow. The charm is all still there. The hilly surroundings and the river Vltava flowing through the city center, the remains of the Austro-Hungarian decadence, the cobblestones and the pigeons, make it an obilgatory destination on our itinerary.

The three historical centres are all worth exploring: Prague Castle (Hradcany) with its many historical buildings and Government headquarters is a mandatory sight, and from its heights that dominate the city and the river, it provides a perfect view of Prague, spreading in all directions.

The Lesser Town (Mala Strana) has many well-restored old buildings (many Embassies are situated here) and with the river Vltava just below it makes a wonderful area for strolling around. If there is one tourist site that is a must-see in the city, it's Charles Bridge. A magnificent old stone bridge (the oldest in Europe), it's adorned with many statues, street vendors, pick-pockets, busloads of tourists and those strange fat women singing traditional Czech folk songs in heavy make-up. Crossing Charles Bridge brings you to the old town where you should at least visit the Old Town Square with the famous Astronomical Clock, and the small remains of the Jewish quarter.

A number of sites and online guides provide the necessary information for preparing your trip, and from the multitude of guides that pass under our hands on the way to the rubbish bin, we can recommend the usual suspects Czech site, the Prague Information Services, the TimeOut, In Your Pocket Prague, and that stupid Lonely Planet. A pub guide might come in handy, and this is a start for your explorations.

And there is plenty more to see and do.

Getting There

The easiest way to get to Prague from Amsterdam is by plane. Daily flights from Schiphol to Prague make it painless and fast, around 1.5 hrs flight time, with a direct flight. Czech Airlines and KLM offer direct flights and sometimes KLM has discounts for weekends or last-minute flights bookable online.

Another option is to take the train, it's slower, and no longer direct (one now must change in Frankfurt, Germany) but train travel does have undeniable charm. Sleeping compartments of 2 to 6 persons are available for an extra fee, and tickets can be purchased at any international train station in the Netherlands. The cost is a little bit more if you want to sleep alone or in more luxurious settings.

When making reservations, note that the second passenger pays 50% of the fare, so it pays to travel in groups. The train personnel were extremely friendly, and Heinekens and other beers are sold throughout the night. If you behave well, you might even be upgraded in low-season to a James Bond style compartment. Wood panelling and young girls in tight Wagon-Lits uniforms (we still remember Jessika) are what train is travel is all about, and waking up in the morning to the new and unfamiliar countryside and towns passing by outside is always one of the true joys of travel.

Finally, the car option. Prague is connected to Germany and to the Netherlands with a good highway, and 10 hours should be enough to get you there. Auto theft might be a problem if you have a foreign license plate.

Accomodation

A discount site for booking hotels in Prague is HotelsCzech, and most international hotel chains are present in Prague, for example the Inter-Continental, the Hilton, Holiday Inn, and a number of other European and Czech. Hotels are reasonably cheap if you do not aim at the top ones, and if you are unlucky enough to be in Prague during an international conference. If you are staying longer than a day or two, then we would recommend renting an apartment, and there are several good agencies available online. Prices tend to be good, and low-season deals are very common.

Hotel Inter-Continental
Námestí Curieových 43 / 5
Tel/fax: +420 2 96 63 11 11 / 24 81 00 71
E-mail: prague@interconti.com

The preferred hotel for business travellers, close to the historical centre, easy online booking, and frequently offering promotional rates via the internet. Ugly as in cement-box shaped, but escorts tend to hang around the place, so we're told.

Hotel Grand Bohemia
Králodvorská 4,
Praha 1
Tel/fax: +420 2 2480 4111 / 232 9545

Hotel Grand Bohemia is an extremely well-located and comfortable hotel, with stylish and lavish renovated interiors and charm. This is not your average Holiday Inn or your average golf resort meets Waikiki meets the mall generation with 24H service.

This is Prague, with Bohemian crystal, lazy personel, too much velvet, and plenty of decadence. Close to Wenceslas Square, but secluded in a side street for better sleep, I know that the yellow facade will always charm me inside as I walk under the Powder Gate. Prices around $250 US but deals can be had in low season. Sheer coincidence makes the owners of Grand Bohemia provide you with a less expensive alternative in Prague, the Holiday Inn Prague.

Food and Restaurants

Abandoning the immediate tourist routes, you can easily find cheap and reasonably good restaurants. We found a couple of those throughout our wanderings, setting our priorities on restaurants with nice outdoor terraces in shady courtyards. Avoiding tourist traps is not obvious, and we also made one bad choice. Right in the middle of the tourist area, on the small square off The Old Town square that leads to Charles Bridge. Prince was the name and royal was the bill. 180 KC of couvert charge, 15% special tax, plus various other mysterious additions only found in Italy in the roaring eighties and in Eastern Europe in present days. A bill you could have had in Western Europe, but in all honesty the meal was good. The many Vodka Red Bulls eased the pain as usual.

Beer Czech beer is known to be the best in the world. And in our not so humble opinion, beats the taste of Dutch and German beers any day of the week. If you also just happen to drink it in Prague, then the quality-to-price ratio is surely unbeatable.

Our private little beer tasting competition ended up with the following top three: 1. Staropramen 2. Urquell 3. Budvar, (the original Budweiser). Even Branik, an unknown green can purchased from a vendor at the train station was excellent. Only one was disliked for its bitterness, and many other excellent choices elude our feeble memory.

Somehow we did not remember them all when we were doing this summary. How can that be? Well, ok then, maybe we have to admit it, and it probably goes without saying, that the tour members were usually not quite sober. Especially after discovering the miraculous effect of Vodka Red Bull on ice, served by titty Czech bartenders during those hot summer days. Even without Red Bull, vodka was not avoided during the trip. We are still not completely sure of what happened, but very happy that it did.

Sausage

One of the most positive surprises were the sausages! Czechs have the very healthy habit of eating sausages from news-vendor street stalls, and other fancier side-walk stands. Tasty grilled sausages on rye bread (do not make the mistake of getting the "normal" white hot-dog bread) with delicious brownish mustard; do not pass on the opportunity to do like they do, be a local!

After arriving home we have been involved in multiple experiments during summer barbecues, trying to find the optimal combination of bread, sausage and mustard. Rye bread, a meaty bratwurst-like sausage of the thicker kind, and a mustard that should not be sweet but still full of taste, without being too strong. It took a while to find the real trick. We had made the mistake of applying the mustard directly on the sausage. What you should do is to have a larger quantity of mustard on a plate, and scoop it up with the sausage that you hold in the bread!

The AXXXTW site is full of surprises, and now we are world-authorities on Central European fast-food as well. It's an excellent late night snack, when walking home from the club rounds. And if you are on a budget trip, this is all the food you need for a couple of days stay, if you get all your other vitamins from beer!

Safety

We felt safe in most places, even during the night, and have not heard that it should be particularly dangerous. The only thing we were a little bit wary about were the taxis. See to learn the names (and maybe the phone numbers) of the largest and most reliable taxi companies. AAA, for example, has a good reputation.

Language

If by pure chance you would have learnt the Czech language, you are safe. The second language is German, so knowing a little German takes you a long way. In central and tourist areas, English is enough, especially with young people. Be prepared to use some sign language as well, or to try some Russian as a last resort. A good tip is to have a dictionary with you, even if the words seem totally impossible to pronounce. At least for us they did, it took us days to master the simple phrase (in Czech) "Thank you very much". At least you can do some pointing and get some feedback that you will never understand anyway.

Public Transport

Central Prague is very dense and during daytime walking is an excellent way to see the city. There is a very good public transport system with Metro and Trams. If you just get over the hurdle of figuring out how much you should be paying in the ticket machine in the Metro, it is a very efficient way of travelling. We got over that particular hurdle by depositing in the machine the largest denominations of coins we had in our hand, only to find out later that we had overpaid drastically.

We frequently relied on taxis as well, and it went fine - except once. Many clubs are included in the standard taxi scam operations, where they are forced to pay or "voluntarily" bribe the taxi driver that brings customers. Early in the evening it is quite easy to get to the clubs without using taxis - walking or public transportation - or applying the standard anti-taxi-scam-procedures (nearby addresses, etc.). When leaving the clubs late at night, you can safely use the taxis called by the club, as it is in their best interest that you return with a fat wallet. You may end up paying 20% or so extra for a private driver, but it is still cheap. Just arm yourself with a little knowledge about roughly what a taxi ride should cost you. When picking up a taxi from the street, see to use one of the three largest taxi companies.

If you get home-sick, tune in to the multitude of foreign TV channels in your hotel room or go to those bars that have "live" English-language broadcasts. Never been to one, never will. What is much more interesting is to browse the local English-language newspapers, some of them with online editions. Try the Prague Post, the Prague Tribune or the Prague Business Journal. Alternatively, tune in to Radio Prague.

The Sex Scene

Due to the little annoying fact that the Czech Republic is still not on par with the rest of Western Europe regarding their financial situation, and that local authorities made brothels and prostitution legal, the nineties saw an explosion of the sex scene, from the road houses close to Germany to the finer establishements of Prague.

Recently, this permissive system was being abused by the Eastern mafia that wanted to turn Prague into an unlawful city - Budapest, anyone? - and there has been a tidal change in the way that illegal immigration and slavery-type treatment of Russian or Ukrainian girls is being dealt with by the police. This has reduced the number of Russian girls working in private apartments, and increased the prices. Now you will mostly find locals, something we prefer because they have better manners, and, honestly, Czech women are among the most attractive in the Universe, so why bother with the rest?

You will find quite a large club scene, a lot of private apartments, and some street action. If we start with the street action, it seems like it has been growing the last couple of years. It is easy to find if you are interested. We were not. It is simply not our cup of tea, so we will not spend any time on it. Our simplistic view from what we saw was that it was rather shady, as girls that are not drug addicts easily can find opportunities in the clubs and private apartments. So after a bit of a sad touch in the introduction, let's dive into the areas that we found more positive, the clubs and the private apartments. And we did enjoy that, believe us!

Show Park
Holešovická tr?nice,
Praha 7

The red light district of Prague. Cough. 62 rooms in a mall brothel that seems to be inspired by someones hasty visit to Amsterdam, if the red light districts here charged admission and were heavily policed by surely security geezers. There are much better options in Prague, folks.

Sex Clubs

K5
Korunni 5,
Prague 2 - tel: 02-2425 0505
Opening hours: 4 pm - 4 pm

The classiest place on earth? We had heard the rumors that K5 was the classiest place in Prague. And classy it was. After paying the 500 KC entrance fee, the AXXXTW team was shown the facilities. K5 has a sauna and a steam bath with a large nice relaxing area. And of course there's also a large bar with many large comfortable sofa groups. The hostess seated us there.

The hostess herself was so beautiful that we were about to loose one of the team members, as he wanted to sneak away with her into one of the roomy and nice private rooms already at this stage! We were also greeted by the manager of the evening. We had a long nice chat with him and he explained that they focus on providing a relaxing atmosphere and nice environment, nice food, no hustle with "ladies prices" on drinks, etc.

The nice food would be confirmed later in the evening when a party ordered some huge plates of seafood. We were tempted to leave our dates for the night, and join in the "food party" instead, but do not fear, we managed to keep our focus. The drink prices could also be said to be quite reasonable, at least if you computed the drink bill / hangover ratio the morning after. We did send a test pilot to the "normal" massage (is there such a thing as "abnormal" massage?). It was the "mamoushka" type of masseuse. Our bruised test pilot could confirm that it was a tough but very good massage (300 KC for 20 minutes).

The line up of girls was also fantastic, just barely beaten by Lotos (due to the fact that some of the AXXXTW team prefer titty blondes). Strip shows are provided during the evening, both from more experienced dancers, and from the girls that are dancing to "introduce" themselves. The bra expert in the AXXXTW team got one of his many opportunities to show his excellent bra removal talents, helping one of the professional dancers with the little get-rid-of-the-bra detail.

Our own experiences here varied from inexperienced giggling teenagers to fitness instructing sex athletes. In general we believe that you will be able to find a girl that is to your liking, and our conclusion is that K5 IS the classiest and best place in Prague.

The focus on providing a relaxing atmosphere was proven to us when we went back for our third and last visit. K5 does not take more customers in the evening then what allow them to keep the relaxed atmosphere inside. We were of course disappointed to have missed the opportunity of a last visit, but we still think that this is a commendable feature.

Do not worry, we DID find something else to do this evening!

Lotos
Kupeckého 832,
Praha 4
Tel: +42 02/791 68 25, +42 02/794 05 65

Opening hours: Non-Stop.

When we discussed the trip among ourselves, we surprisingly found that two out of three clubs that we had liked the most were the exclusive ones: K5 and Lotos. Normally we tend to like the ones that are a little bit smaller, and have a more relaxing atmosphere, like Marthy's. The reason for the difference here was simply that these more exclusive ones were not posh in the bad way, but still provided a relaxing atmosphere. Another important fact, they were not expensive on the line of being silly, like Yab Yum in Amsterdam.

Lotos may not be as classy as K5, but it is still a nice place. As said, some of us even saw it as the best place, mostly due to the selection of girls. One of the AXXXTW staff members was seen drooling and mumbling things like "One of the best line-ups of women in the known Universe". 500 KC door fee, that can be avoided with coupons. No pressure, but a little less relaxed for the customer than K5. The main reason for that is nevertheless positive! A LARGE AMOUNT OF GIRLS! And the girls occupied several of 6 sofa groups, so it was actually a bit difficult to find a place to sit when we first arrived. Pleasant problems one may say! Drinks are a bit pricey for Prague, but still not expensive. Maybe "normal" Western prices. And here as well no "ladies drink prices".

We had a couple of nice evenings here chatting to some of the girls. Of course one sometimes ran into the language barrier, and it is advisable to check that when you invite a girl. On the other hand, if you at least have some common ground in English or German, a discussion around language or specific words can actually be funny and charming and a way to get to know each other before the deed.

As said, the girls inside were fabulous in the looks department, but some were a bit distant, if you compare with Amsterdam. Less eye contact and approaches were made. But when contact was established, our experiences were mostly VERY good. A couple of the best paid-sex experiences we have ever had, but also a couple of average or below-average experiences. The price was around 3500-4000 KC per hour. 4000 KC was for the Tropical room, which we recommend! A pool, not a Jacuzzi, but actually a large pool! And you can have a lot of fun in a pool with a girl! We tried it out, just for research purposes, and as you know, to do proper research you have to do your tests several times.

One thing that we did not like was that when the girls were working, they were forced to stay 4 days in a row, without leaving the club. We were not 100% sure if that applied to all girls, or only for practical reasons for the girls who traveled from the countryside. We believe that this was the one of the reasons why we felt that some of the girls were a little distant in the bar.

Lotos is located in a suburb of Prague, at the end of the red subway line towards Haje. Are they immune to the taxi scam that seems to be in place? We do not think so, but cannot answer properly. We just used taxis to leave the place. Anyway, we would recommend going there by subway, and taking a taxi home. The taxi should not cost more than 500 KC even if it is a bit far out.

Atlas Night Club Cabaret:
Ve Smeckach 31,
Praha 1 (Close to Wenceslas Square)
Tel: (+42) 02/96 22 42 60

Opening hours: Non-stop (according to the ads they're opened non-stop. the reality can be different, we found that they usually opened around 19:00 or so).

Atlas had a reasonable dancing scene, nice dancers. But we would like to have seen more strip (if we have to be explicit, more tits and ass!).

The place has nothing of the upscale about it, a mid-range quality bar with large screen TV's playing both porn and soccer. An interesting combination by the way, it seems like the place was BUILT for the "lads". A bit different from most clubs that we have been to. The club itself is rather large as well, which makes it great for mingling (compared with sitting down and selecting a girl from a lineup). You get more of a nightclub feeling and less of a specific sex club feeling.

At the entrance, we were told some ten to fifteen girls would be working that night (Saturday). Half of those were there when we arrived at 20:00. Later, at around 21:30 the line-up got better. Very impressive young brunettes, and a couple of interesting blondes.

One hour in a room costs 2500 KC and 3500 KC with Jacuzzi. The back rooms were nice in the typical whorehouse style, with black lights and fake palm trees, something that an AXXXTW'er would kill for.

Our experiences here were pretty uniform. We ended up with selections of tall and pretty brunettes, one hour of great sex, and two showers. Two appears to be the norm in Prague, one shower before and another after. Making the rounds we had lot of showers! You'll find Atlas just off the main avenue in Prague, Wenceslas Square.

All afternoon long, girls hand out flyers at the main tourist spots, so it's no wonder the place was a magnet for rowdy and imbecilic U.K lads. The place turned to living hell around 22:30, when the "lads" showed up for the drinks and the strip show. They were not paying any attention to the girls (by then a VERY recommendable selection) but made the space unbreathable. The air conditioning was not powerful enough this fine summer day.

We would still recommend the place, as we were told that the "lads" are of course only there during the Friday and Saturday evenings, the typical weekend trips. But go there during the weekdays, or just see to leave there before 22:00 those days. No scams of any sort were being pulled. Nice and correct people. They, as a couple of other clubs, have a system where you get a slip where your drinks etc. are listed. You pay when you leave the club.

IMPORTANT: Be careful with the slip, as you will have to pay a 5000 KC "fine" if you lose it.

Nancy Club

If K5 was one of the classiest, safest and most relaxed experiences we had had ever at a sex club, Nancy Club provided the greatest contrast to that. The worst experience on planet Earth! All the scams. Skanky girls. Laughable strip acts. Ghastly music. Violent doormen. Police. Bitches on drugs. Etc. Bad vibrations for us, and for several of the other customers. The atmosphere was really nasty for a while. They were running the slip system mentioned above.

One guy who had just paid his slip (while we were sitting there seeing him doing it) misunderstood the doorman and thought he also had to pay the two beers separately. Kindly enough, he returned to the bar to pay the beers, and when he came back he was asked for the slip! In vain, he tried to remind the sleazy smiling doorman that he had just given it two minutes before. But he was aggressively asked to pay the 5000 KC fine, otherwise he would not be leaving. The scene was totally absurd.

Next to this rather nasty discussion, two properly uniformed policemen (late at night, no donut shops or other bars open!) were sitting and calmly enjoying a couple of complementary drinks. And we, who were sitting next to the policemen, were during this scene verbally abused by a bitch on drugs, that wanted us to leave the place. Two of us merely sitting in a sofa at the entrance, quietly discussing the evening among ourselves, finishing our beers, waiting for a friend. Were we giving the place too much class?

Ariadne
Zitná 4,
Praha 1
Tel: +42 02 2223 0097 / 2223 1427 / 9621 2196; Fax: (+42) 02/2223 2315

Opening hours: Mo-Su: 10-06

When we earlier had our discussion with one of the managers at K5, he described many of the other clubs with an interesting word, "fuck-factories." Of course we had to pay some visits to those places as well! Just for research purposes, obviously.

This place may not have all of the nice interiors and plush of K5, but it was not too shabby or small either. Three groups of sofas, a small bar and a strip stage in a reasonably sized room. We arrived there quite late in the evening, and at that time, we were still welcomed by seven girls. We were a bit surprised, after reading on the net that Ariadne did not have the best selection of women, but there were 2 or 3 girls that were *pretty* hot and a couple others that were pretty ok looking too.

The simple conclusion to the difference in opinion is of course that it varies a lot from day to day and month to month. The fuck factory feeling was noticeable when it came to the selection of girls, which was pretty straight forward. We ended up with a couple of awkward moments when the hostess that was helping us shouted across the room to enquire if one of the girls was available, and then as this girl was not, the shouting was repeated 3 times. A little more discretion would not have been a bad thing, to avoid the feeling of being in the production line at that fuck-factory, and after selection, off to the factory floor.

Rooms were ok in size, but nothing special regarding interior (factory!?). Prices were slightly higher than stated on the website. 2500 KC for an hour. Maybe they are just not that quick in maintaining the website, or we were hit with "foreigner prices". We were not sure. But still, the money was not too bad.

Marthy Club
Seifertova 35,
Prague 3
Tel:(+42) 02/627 80 13

Opening hours: 2pm-2am

A place that was different from all the other places that we went to. It was not large, but still you got the feeling of being in a proper bar, and definitively not the "at the fuck factory feeling." More the feeling of a small local place, for the locals themselves, cosy with its plain interior and comfortable sofas.

Normally you would find 4 girls there, and at least a couple that are ok looking. The strong side of this place is the atmosphere. They do make a big deal in their advertising about this being a "no pressure" place. It is really true.

The owner, Marthy, has a very relaxed way of operating the place and manages the bar himself. The girls also maintain this nice and relaxed attitude. We liked the place a lot and we had a good time in the back rooms too. The rooms themselves are ok but nothing special. The beds may be a bit on the hard side. But as one of the girls said, that is good for sex! And who could argue against that then?

Prices were midrange, and we would say good value for money. All in all we liked Marthy's, one of the AXXXTW team actually found it to be his favourite of any of the clubs we made on our rounds.

Other Clubs

We went to a couple of more clubs; Kleopatra, which is close to Lotos. We decided to drop by after having visited Lotos, and it was late in the night so resigning ourselves to paying the "taxi fine", we hopped into one.

When we arrived we found the place to be absolutely dead, and the line up had nothing that attracted us, so we simply left. The only fun thing with this stop was to see the argument between the taxi driver and the manager regarding the money the driver expected and the manager did not want to give as we had not stayed. We also called upon a small club called Tango early in the day. It was a small place, and did not look very tempting, despite the offer from the female bartender that she too was available. Again we turned around and went out the door.

On previous trips we have visited Escade where we liked the girls and the facilities, but they had a bit of champagne hustle. Laura's and Hanka Servis were low key places that were reasonably good. And there are many other clubs as well. There also is an indoor RLD, but we never found our way there. Guess we just forgot and had a few vodkas too many.

Rio Melantrichnova 12,
Prague (near Mustek Metro)
Tel:(+42) 0606 173 613

Opening hours: 12.00-18.00/20.00-06.00

All over town we were handed brochures touting this place, claiming among other things: "Table dance, Go-go dance, Private Strip, Lesbian Show, Cabaret, Escort Service". We found nothing of the sort, despite the name, Rio, and the "tropical" decor, both meant to convey the impression of carnivale.

What did we find? Bored, unsmiling woman click-clacking disinterestedly back and forth in wobbly high heels upon the stage as they mechanically performed. The singularly uncomfortable straight backed chairs, high interior temperature, inflated drink prices, and abundance of muscle bound male attendants, mark this place out as a tourists clip joint, and best to be avoided.

Private Apartments There are plenty of private apartments in Prague where sexual services are on offer, with one to four girls working at any given time. There are a couple of larger places as well, where you can find more girls. At these places there are normally different girls working during the day and during the night, roughly in two shifts. There is plenty of information available on the net and on the local advertising newspapers.

A couple of things to keep in mind:

Links

There is plenty of information about Prague available on the net, in case you do not want to get burned like a beginner and actually want to walk the path of the wiser indians.

Escort Online is the one of the most comprehensive commercial websites about sex and prostitution in the world, listing both privates, escorts and clubs. It is the definitive starting point, but we would also recommend going further in your research and check a couple of regular escort sites, such as CZ-ladies, Faxxaff's, Czech Sex Guide, and Escort Czech.

Another source of information about clubs is the nightclub guide that can be bought at the newsstands, "Eroticky Pruvodce / Erotischer Stadtplan / Erotic Guide." If nothing else, the map with all the clubs marked is very a useful tool for planning the evening. And if you are interested, there are discount coupons that you could use to pay entrance fees at several of the clubs. Much like the zegeltjes in Holland!

Unfortunately, our experience with coupons was that we always seemed to lose them before we could make any use of them. We blame (as always) the inexpensive vodka for all mishaps.