Forward
Please enjoy this cautionary tale of how hard it is to keep business and love separate in Dubai. This is not a report for those who want instant info and for that I duly apologise. Nor is it for those who want pornographic content, although the section entitled “Barfing for Uganda” might qualify. The locations and stories are accurate and with patience, newcomers and lonely businessmen should be able to follow in my footsteps and recreate my debauchery with ease. During my story of love, lechery, lewdness and tragedy, only the names have been slightly changed to protect the not-so-innocent. I have illustrated the report with snippets of photos for artistic effect. No nudity or possible identity. The characters referred to, are from ISG, since that message board has the best UAE scene and this report intended primarily for that forum.
Tswana-slut in the Imperial. Chapter 1. Imperial Suites, Saturday.
Well, I am quite impressed with the holy month. I lost 6 lbs in weight and saved money on my women. I am booking next year already. My choice of Hotel was the Jumeira Rotana, totally Girl Friendly with the friendly staff willing to waive visa copies and discuss rates, performances and generally take the piss when I was too tired to exercise my libido. At a “Ramadan Special” rate of 300 Dh per night advertised on the net, for a room the size of the Jumeira Beach Park, then you can’t really complain can you?
I arrived to late on Friday and too tired to be bothered spending good money on bad pussy, so my first night was spent at the kebab shop outside the York Hotel watching hopeful, or is that hopeless PRC hookers of dubious quality trying to get late night customers I was able to test the waters. And the waters looked full of fish, desperate for fishermen to gobble them all up. Ramadan is the work of the Lord after all I think. A quick shoarma-kebab and I am approached by the first African prostitute on the roadside.
Her predictable opening was, “Hello, how are you?” designed to entice a response playing on the good manners of the western client rather than any concern for my health. A shame really, she had no such manners soliciting whilst I was eating. “No thankyou” I said. “I ask you how you are, not if you want anything”, she said as she leered at me with her spotty chest nearly falling out of its inadequate top. I was tired and in no mood for pushy Africans. “No, you are a prostitute looking for a client and I do not want you”. Normally this would send any girl in the UAE scuttling for cover looking nervously around for CID, but not this one. “Why you not like me? I will make you scream and give you best massage”. “I am not interested so forget it” I reply and bite into the wonderful chicken meat. “Why not, is it because I am black?”. Stunned at the question, I said “No, its because you are rude and particularly ugly. Now push off”. At this the kebab shop owner nearly chopped his own thumb off and the people behind me choked on their food, 7-up spewing from nostrils. A very stunned African girl looked very confused as she slunk into her taxi. I mean, I wouldn’t want anyone to think there was a racist angle. All pussy is the same to me, it just has to be bi-pedal and been around long enough. Pulse preferred, on that note.
So after previously asking the hotel if it was still girl friendly, I arrived back with no trophy. The concierge looked decidedly disappointed.
The second night on Saturday after watching the England Match in Jockey’s (Panorama Hotel) there was nothing to interest me despite the £2.00 a pint Fosters Lager, so I went to the Imperial. I turned up at the Imperial Suites. I was impressed. Of course, the first good thing is that, like Jockeys and Regal, you don’t pay unless the bouncers think you are there only to oggle and not to drink. The atmosphere without the band was warm and chatty with the Girls not too pushy. Of course the Peoples Republic will always score first, followed by an approach from the Africans, as if you are just going to go with the first girl you see and walk off. After a few rebuttals I found a stunning Zulu speaking girl from Zimbabwe/Botswana with a silver dress and the slimmest figure you could want and evil eyes. Totally beautiful, and a great conversationalist on the subject of African economics and politics. Buying this girl a drink was a major achievement for her, and for me, it was a great way of getting rid of the uglier, pushy Africans who even outdo the Maoist hordes in this place. Like most African Girls, Miss Botswana was enticed to the UAE for a Job. But when the job was described in Africa it was a bit different to the job it turned out to be in the UAE. “Can you go back?” I asked? “Yes, I still have my passport” she replied. When I said “Why not return then” she said, “Worse problems at home than here”. Not exactly a conscience settler, but I was happy she was here of her own free will. In the end I could not resist. Massive Sperm Build-up won the day and we departed for my Hotel. Price 600 Dhs for all night, leave 9 the next day. On arrival at the Hotel the guys on the desk seemed quite impressed and said “What happened last night Mr De-Havilland, were you too tired for exercise?” With good intentions and a little chagrin I pointed at my quarry (or was I the quarry?) and replied “How could I resist” and passage to the room was assured.
Now everyone says that Africans don’t Kiss, don’t do Blow Jobs, don’t give good service. Of course that is a stereotype, but a stereotype that ran entirely true in this case. Identifying the problems before they were likely to happen I raised the issue early on in the proceedings. After payment and nudity achieved and appreciated (she is an ex-model in Botswana) I asked for a kiss. “We do not do that in Africa”. “You are in Arab-town now girl” I replied, and literally had to give instruction on how to kiss. Well, that was fun but she was still utterly shit. The BBBJ was not much better, but at least I got it. The sex however, like most African Girls was great. This is what they like to do and here she excelled. Nice, clean girl. After we finished she sent me to the shower and within 30 seconds she was dressed. “What happened to all night?” I said. “Well, you know, there is not much point in me staying around”. So, as per normal, I regretting not paying 50% then 50% in the morning and opened the door. “But what about my taxi money you promised?” I replied, “I lied. You lied about the time you would stay, and I lied about the taxi”. She laughed with as good a grace as she could muster and left. I regarded it as gaining good nights sleep and not loosing 30 Dhs for a taxi. Not recommended anyway.
Chapter 2 Lubing up Loopy Luba. Regal, Sunday.
One problem with Ramadan is that Girls do go home. My favourite, Maria from Albania had gone home for a while, although she did ring later on in the week. Missing her, I looked for talent but it was as thin as Islamic sincerity in the Gulf, here. I had done African, still could not get it up for a the sweet or the sour Chinese dishes, but felt in a Pervy mood for MILF. I found it. A complete nutcase of a woman, late thirties Lupy Luba, could not stop laughing and had great curves, blonde hair, nice face and I had to get her back quickly to the Hotel as she was costing me a fortune in raw tequila. My goodness these Russian ladies can drink some. At 500 Dhs for the whole night, kissing and BBBJ negotiated in advance, I was only tempted slightly by a tall girl behind me, who was bored silly by a man who could not stop telling people he was an architect. However, I left her to his devices. “Here Mr Architect” I had to say, “Your drink needs paying for”. Didn’t he realise these girls don’t care what he is, they just want their money out of your wallet and back in their purse. See you, looser.
Luby came back and nearly got in without the dreaded Visa Copy. Unabashed, she asked for the money. I said, 50% in the morning? She assured me it was a waste of time since she was not going to go anywhere, I believed her and paid my 500 Dhs. Again, without embarrassment she stripped off totally and showered in front of me laughing all the way. What a great set of tits this girl had. They were as hard as Silicone but still natural. “No kids” kept her body good but a little too curvy for me. When she lubed up her pussy, like all fat pussies it got a bit rubbery, like a sex doll, but hey, I could handle that. Sex was fun, multi position, and reasonable blowjob. I could not finish however. So she asked “You drink Viagra” or something. I stupidly confessed “I took a little Cialis, because I had sex yesterday” then added “Maybe I took a little too much, sorry.” At which point all hell let loose. “OH MY GOD” she wailed, “YOU WANT TO FUCK ME ALL NIGHT, NOOOO,” Waiving hands in the air. “I GO HOME NOW!”.
At this point you wonder why you do this hobby. I sat her down and after half an hour got her calmed down and explained that it was an accidental over medication and she could go to sleep and yes, I could come if I wanted. To prove the point, I gave her a pearl neclace, which she seemed to love and she promised to go to sleep for round two in the morning. Then the problems started “I forgot my nose drops, and the AC blocks my nose. I can’t sleep”. “Neither can I woth your moaning” I said. “Just close your eyes OK?”. Half an hour later she was nearly in tears and I said, please, just go. “You Angry?”No, just tired, I replied. Door slammed as she went and that 50/50 rule looked pretty good. “Stupid Idiot” I berated myself. Actually, no. I was glad she was gone. Paid to leave also, as the current popular saying goes.
Chapter 3. Number-Collecting Round Town. Monday/Tuesday various bars.
The next two days I hooked up with an African telecomms engineer, I shall call Eddie. We hopped from bar to bar, meeting both days in the imperial. I discovered the sport of prostitute baiting. That is, wind the pushy ones up and waste their time, only to dash off suddenly or even worse, talk to the pretty one whilst their back is turned. Great fun.
Mostly though I visited bars where it was ladies nights (e.g. Sevilles near the Canadian specialist Hospital” and talked to the girls like human beings and tried to get non pay for play. I got close with a Kirgy (Kirgistan) in regal on Tuesday night, and anyway, I collected lots and lots of numbers just in case I wanted an off-peak rate one afternoon. A great way to spend a night in good company getting pissed bar hopping and interviewing tons of girls whilst my body recovered. I F’in love Dubai!!! If I went around asking for phone numbers in the UK, well, last I heard they reintroduced the death penalty for that didn’t they? Along with the smoking ban I think.
Chapter 4. Barfing for Uganda. Tuesday, hotel room.
One of the intriguing things the next day was that as I went through the numbers, two Ugandan girls, Janifer and Jaonna, cousins apparently gave me the big boner. I asked if they did work together. They said not yet but if I wanted it was no problem. So they were called and for 300 Dhs short time I got both of them to come to my room. Jaonna had fan bloody-tastic tits, great eyes, and her cousin was so ugly with no redeeming features, but such an infectious personality it was a great self head-fuck. These girls, like most Africans, are and absolute scream. They are not great professionals, as discussed, but they know how to enjoy life and the CIS girls could learn a LOT from them in my book.
Both turned up on time as expected. Not paid up front even though it was only short time, purely because they did not even ask! We got on the bed and they did a massage start with Jaona stripping to her briefs immediately and Janifer (the less good looker) leaving her underwear on for the moment. Soon, Jaona proved she had some kissing ability, as did Janifer. The great Jaonna stand up titties are here on the right and the little monkey Jaonna is in yellow.
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/f ... ntid=55740
But problems soon happened. They could not take all their clothes off with both in the room as the enormity of what they had done for money hit them. “Please, I go in the bathroom while you finish, then I come back and you fuck me!” this was delicious. I had not paid up front, so I was going to wi. My cruel perverse sadistic side was going to corrupt these little semi pro’s and they would betray themselves with their own Greed. Of course, I won through cajoling and persuasion and they loved it. I penetrated the good looker first whilst the other girl Janifer, hid her head under the pillow. Eventually the looker, whilst getting fucked tarted getting really wet. She wanted to be seen. She pulled the pillow off the face of her cousin, who despite herself was fascinated and found herself wanting to look. So I fucked Jaonna until Janifer, looking bored wanted some. I was asked to change condom and wash, so I complied, not wanting to push it too far. Then I fucked Janifer with big-tits watching avidly. Of course there was no interaction. Whilst concentrating on getting my two Ugandan girls to cooperate, I evidently forgot to get vocal enough for Janier. Not having the correct Englich skills to express this properly she said.."Michael, can you cry?". I said "Cry???". she said "Yes!". I said, "Huh, you should see me when Manchester United loose".
When she recovered from that, she rephrased the question using the word "moan", and I refrained from the old joke about "The curtains need changing etc..". Of course there was no interaction. Then Janifer asked “Is my pussy different from hers?” No, I said. It feels nearly the same. “How early? What’s different?” Yours is tighter. “Yes, Jaonna said, my pussy very big, like my behind and my boobs” at that everyone collapsed laughing.
Then I decided for more interaction ad asked for a double hand job, with both their backsides in my hands. It was nice, until Janifer on the left said “where is his hand?” Jaonna on the right said “my pussy”. “Where?”. “Inside”. “Me too” then the laughter started again as they realised they were being double fingered. They got up and surprisingly the little looker said “I want you to come on my top” pointing at her breasts. You too, I thought? Its getting infectious.
So I got ugly J on the left to grab my balls and with my left hand I grabbed pretty J’s right booby and jerked up all over it. Some went in ugly J’s eye, I don’t know how, some on the bed. Loads of thick white cream went all over pretty J’s body. I mean everywhere. Immediately she choked, then she coughed, hand over mouth as she turned green. Then ran to the bathroom and wretched. Ugly J then heard this and started retching and also ran to the bathroom. I then staggered over in afterglow sticky haze and witnessed the unlikely sight of two African girls, one in my toilet the other in my sink retching away like it was some kind of national competition. Pretty J recovered first and said “She has seen it done but has never had it done to her” pretty J said “sorry, sorry….BLERK… as round two came out.
After we all showered and cleaned up, the pretty J came to me and insisted I took her number separately as a sour breathed kiss came my way. No harm done there then. I didn’t call again, as I was distracted by my next conquest. Or was I her conquest?
Chapter 5. Uber-Girlfriend Experience. Cyclone Wednesday.
So I meet up with Bravo11 on the communist side of the Great Wall of china, that forms orderly without fail every night and divides this expensive little place. All the mercenary little yellow girlies are out in force early, and some very beautiful examples there are too. I was nervous about braving the gauntlet and penetrating the wall to stand on the other side of the great divide, but I was pleasantly surprised. I met Bravo11 and Rougue5, both gentlemen punters and since they are both Peoples Republic of China freaks, I had to stand on the scary side. I was pleasantly surprised though. I was not assaulted, scratched, bitten or even (too badly) propositioned. Also, no, actually meant no. Maybe, as discussed in his earlier post, Bravo11 has a Klingon cloaking device in his belt. The aura cold have at least partially enveloped me. What I realised though is that if you speak to them like Humans and interact with them, they treat you like a Human. Basic really when you think about it. They have an admirable social dynamic, a pecking order, they come to you in turn with the older / most beautiful coming first and the less beautiful / younger coming second to pick up the scraps. Learning a little Chinese also helps. Like I say, the three golden words you must learn for every language when dealing with Women are, “Beautiful, Thankyou and Chocolate.” One utter Stunner called “Juley” not her real Chinese name don’t worry, would have got me, but would not come down less than 1000 Dhs. She was really that nice and even Bravo11 would have broken the bank for that one. Well, almost. Rogue5 is bilingual Chinese so that also meant that conversation flowed a little more logically and the first part of the night passed fast, with Bravo11 finding his most worshipful girl with the elegant backless black dress, looking like the iron butterfly personified. When Bravo was off finding peanuts for the poor CIS girls who get none even though they pay the same price, I was still left alone. Later I was to text “Juley” for the off peak rate. The text back, bizarrely was “Yes, I fine, I miss you, kiss x”. OK, bin that one.
After some time to cut a long story short I walked around trying to find a Russian girl with any sense of life in her. This place had some major beauties. I mean really stunning girls, name an actress and we are talking prettier than that. However, they may as well wear t-shirts with “Fuck Off Unless You Are Rich” stamped on it. They do not look you in the eye at all. One guy, a bit nerdy, but basically OK tried to get two stunners to talk. They blanked him and as soon as he turned away embarrassed they sneered and laughed. Hmm, I thought, they are certainly going to be fun. I never saw anyone give them any business. The place was deserted of guys due to Ramadan anyway, so they “make ka ka” in their own nest as far as I can see.
Eventually, a girl with shoulder length blonde hair and a totally cute, appealing next door face, actually looking like this
http://www.rageboy.com/images/lost-in-translation1.jpg but much, much nicer. I noticed her earlier but she was too perfect, she almost put a lump in my throat, guys coming to talk left right and centre, girls round her. Then, almost unbelievably, she stared at me and laughed gently as I noticed she was staring at ME! I came to the bar and talked. She was great. The price was 1000 DHs no discount. (I can start at 1500 and let you knock me down to 1000 if it makes you feel better). I liked the girls Humour and bought a drink. I could not get over her beautiful eyes. In fact here is one of them, to give you the idea of what seduced me. Make no mistake, this girl seduced me….
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/f ... ntid=55737
I will call her Anya, She explained that LT was not possible, but said she would stay long enough that I could finish twice. I asked “Do you kiss?”. My nerves were tingling, my stomach dead, if this impossibly good looking babe from the movies did not kiss, then it was all over. Surely she would not lower herself. “No problem at all” she said. “If I do not kiss, then I cannot finish”. I nearly fell over backwards and my hands started shaking with anticipation. She said” I think some men have the same problem”. “So I believe”. I said. We left. Quickly.
In the end the sex went great. I am not going to tell you what happened. All I will say is that she satisfies herself first, and when the rosy halo appears around her chest and she looks to heaven, she lies back and lets you do what you want to finish yourself. I hate the fact that several times I have mentioned that this girl or that girl was “The best sex ever”. All I can say is; that each time it feels like it. This was no exception, except she was so nice it actually stopped me coming, I did not want to fail the second time.
The second time happened a few hours later, but I did not finish as I was so incredibly tired after being up all night, room service, talking touching caressing. This girl had problems and more sob stories than half of Hollywood put together. Early marriages, beatings, miscarriages and child abductions. Like all these Girls, she craved real affection, understanding, softness. They earn fortunes, they have men falling all over them but they fundamentally fail to understand their own worth. This girl in her early twenties had scars all down her arms marking her perfect little body where she slashed herself a few years ago. Despite her problems though, she was remarkably balanced, funny and focused, on a mission to reclaim her baby from her Muslim husband and his second (yes concurrent) wife. We got on like a house on fire.
It was then I found she had only been here two months. Already she had paid back her balance to her boss of $17000 USD never missing a single night. She tried working in turkey and you don’t want to know what aTurkish jail looked like. Then she left at seven, admitting she never normally stays that long and leaves as soon as possible after sex. I believed here, there were no complaints at $45 USD per hour average and I booked her again the next night.
The next night she arrived and I knew I had made a mistake – I was crossing the boundaries. She lay there after the first round of even better sex (but still curiously no finish) and as I watched her watch the TV I knew I had to end it soon, get her out of the room. I took a photo of the side of her face to remind me what she looked like.
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/f ... ntid=55739
However she did not leave, she asked for another club sandwich. So cute, what could I do. Then she asked “Why do you not finish with me? Is it the condoms? I want to see you finish”. I said “Maybe because I am scared to use you hard enough to come” and she said “You can use me as hard as you like, you are very gentle”. Desperately I said “Maybe also because its business and not from the Heart, touching my breast with the palm of my hand. She laughed, saying “I never stay this long with customer, I charge 1500 and leave as soon as I can. I am doing this for you, with feeling, yes?” We made love, and I ensured I finished for her. Afterwards, she needed another club sandwich. I looked at her face, laughing as she ate, she told me…
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/f ... ntid=55738
Last month a Saudi booked me a week solid, I charged him 1500 every night and 2000 for the whole day. I never stay this long. I said “I am not rich, my company is in trouble, I can not compete”. “Let me tell you something” she said. In my first month I was beaten up. All my Gold taken. I complained to my regular customers and I got three mobiles from them and all my money donated back to me. I have had an offer of marriage already. I will make $40000 Dollars soon and be able to go back to get my baby. But I am tired. A different man every night. I feel bad. You ask me for nothing and you take nothing from me. Your touch is different. I will try to sleep here.” With that she curled up with me and we went to sleep. It was heaven.
The next day, I knew I had to get this romantic sloppy shit out of my head, so I went to Imperial to meet My Kapitan and Fifty Fifty knowing that their depraved antics would soon get me into the mood again.
Chapter 6. A night with the boys
I met up with the guys and not much to say. We met a couple of Mamsans still trying to rip people off by getting money in the club for the Girls. Even My Kapitan got caught up in it saying “That Girl will never work” and we left for an early night. I did not find a girl and I wanted to keep the money down. There was a nice semi pro Kyrgy though, Adia, that we all had a go at. I got her number for a non pay for play date next time.
Chapter 7. back at the ranch.
So Anya rang me after I texted goodbye to her back at the Hotel. She asked if I was on my own. I said I was and that I hoped her customer was treating her well. She said that she was taking her first night off since getting in Dubai. She was too tired and had to rest eventually. She asked if she could come over, that it was OK with me. I said that I had very little money left. She said, best that you keep it to yourself, you need it, I don’t. I said “I can not ask you to come for nothing, I am not like that”. “I know, she said, but even boyfriends pay for fuck when I am working, you know that”. I said, “I know, but you can have what I have”. She turned it down, which is one of the nicest things she could do. I put down the phone, and I hope to God she is gone by the time I get to Dubai next time, and her Dubai mobile cancelled.
As I left for the Airport in the morning, whilst waiting for the taxi, the concierge said "Mr De-havilland, that last one you brought in, superb!" as he kissed his fingers for effect. Yeah, I thought.
