I can provide partial answers:
3) Anything around Leidseplein in the way of doors or cinemas?
- have spent several evenings around Leidseplein, have seen nothing of this kind
4) Whats the deal with Private Houses? - any good ones? - how much?
- in a typical Prive you will be greeted by the mama-san, introduced to several ladies from whom you make your choice, retire to room and do the deed. I have no experience of these in A'dam so suggest you check The Device for specifics.
5) What about cities and towns outside Amsterdam - within an hour or so? - i hear its less of the tourists drinking and smoking too much and better value.
- I assume you are looking for sex action: in which case, Den Haag is within range. Small RLD there is walking distance from both HS and Centraal stations (closer to the former). Also several prive's, try
http://www.dianessecret.nl/. Alkmaar is often mentioned but I have not been there so cannot help further. If you do want tourism, then Leiden is worth a wander around.