As a complete novice in these parts of the world, there are plenty of NEP and Cowboy veterans who can advise and provide comment of various aspects of mongering in the Land of Smiles. As for this, this is just a snap shot of an amateur's fumblings...
April 15th Arrival at BKK Int Airport:
1) Fill in Arrival AND Departure card before queuing up
2) If you have an onward journey and can fly Bangkok Airways - do this. They are a grade up from Thai Air and you get full use of the Club lounge (for economy passengers)
3) Don't use the eye candy available at the airport as an indicator of the available resources in town...you'll just be torturing yourself unnecessarily...trust me, you will not be disappointed in town!
4) If you're travelling alone or in a small group, ignore the various agents trying to sell you Limo taxis into town and just head outside to the public taxis. From the airport they're metered and will be between 400-450Baht for a 35-40min journey into town (Sukhumvit area)
Hotel: I stayed at the Dream Hotel on Soi 15. Located between the Soi Cowboy and Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP). Great hotel, would highly reccom it. Jnr Suites were impressive and staff were incredibly discreet about guests staying over. No 'joining fee' for a girl to stay the night etc and no sniggers and giggles from the girls at reception...they just let you get on with it.
Annie's Sauna: 3pm - arranged for a 4 hour, 2 girl session at Annie's Sauna. I simply looked up the pics of the girls on the web, called up and spoke with Aey (the manager / daughter of Annie) discussed what I wanted and which girls would suit and voila, all booked. The place is easy enough to find, but it looks even seedier in real life. It's a far cry from the relative luxury of Park 118's jacuzzi pools and large rooms but Annie's facilities are best described as 'fit for purpose'. I chose numbers 55 and 47 and quickly realised after the first hour that 4 hours was a ridiculous expectation...especially for the first session of the trip and fresh off the plane. Both girls were fantastic and there are very few restrictions as to what you're allowed to do and what they'll do for you. Essentially for the equivalent of 120Euros, you get two hot ladies who will perform bbbj, cim, facials, etc etc you get the idea...there are very few restrictions...kissing is an option if you're still up for it :)!! In the 4 hour session, you basically get 6 points of entry (bbbj and remaining 4 are covered) and then a girl on girl show until you're ready to go again...this activity loops until the time's up or you surrender. The girls don't expect any of the cuddles and chit chat we've come to love and loathe as part of the Amsterdam GFE. Annie's will never be the GFE but is a surreal experience which allows you to tick whatever boxes you want to experience. It's one of 3 licensed places which requires the girls to pay tax, get health checks etc etc. Cost of 2 girl for 4 hours 6000baht (120 Euros)
Nana Entertainment Plaza: For those of you who have not experienced this place, it's one of the wonders of the world. An old plaza of pubs, shops and restaurants on 4 levels which have been converted to predominantly GoGo bars and bars. At the ripe old age of 32, there isn't enough time in my life to cover all of the establishments and treasures of this place. If God were a man, heaven would look pretty bloody close to this!! I accept that I'm a relative novice amongst the mongering vets of Ignatz and that I'm quite easily impressed by a pretty face and slim waistline but when I saw this place and walked around for the first time...I knew my trip was going to be expensive. I basically walked laps of each floor (there's a covered balcony on each level which overlooks a central courtyard) until I reached Rainbow4. On entry, you know that you're not going anywhere else that evening...two large podiums each with 10-20 poles and up to four shifts of bikini clad girls in high heeled boots gyrating for 3-4 songs before the next group of girls comes on stage. Admittedly the dancing is typically lack lustre as the girls scan the audience to identify who could be a 'handsome man with a good heart' then comes the smile and the dancing begins. All girls have numbers on the bikini. You can either gesture directly to them to come and join you or alternatively ask your service person (waitress) to have them come over. Then begins the drink buying and conversation. Drinks are 120 baht (2.5 Euro) and from this the girl gets 50 baht (1 Euro). If you get on, you can bar fine her (basically pay the old trout of a mamasan the 600 baht so that the girl no longer has to dance and can stay with you and drink / chat). It's not a guarantee that just because you've bought her a handful of drinks that she'll want to be barfined by you. Whilst in Rainbow 4, you'll witness at least a few instances of girls walking away from guys and the guy questioning whether he's in a gogo or a school disco. Before bar-fining, you'll need to establish the cost of services ST and LT. It varies from girl to girl but the range was 1500-2500 ST and 2500-4000 LT (overnight til 2pm-ish). Some girls will only do ST as they expect to get 3-4 customers a night whilst others will only do LT as they only want 2-3 customers a week. I bar-fined two girls from Rainbow 4, Annie and Mi. Both were incredibly attractive girls, relative to the wallen standards, both would be a 9.5+/10 as are 95% of the population in the black / white bikinis strolling around Rainbow4. As some of you may have already experienced or read from other posts and forums, what you get in looks you sometimes compromise on in terms of performance. Again, this is relative. If I had received the service from Annie and Mi whilst I was at Park 118, they would have both received a 10/10 write up as it was still a great experience but relative to the earlier performance and mind blowing threesome at Annie’s, it was fairly tame. You’ll still get the bbbj and every conceivable position you want to experiment with but the initiative was totally from me rather than the girls.
Watch out for waitress 222 name of Lek, a short haired Tom Boy. I can’t prove it 100% so put it down to Falang Lesson learnt, but when I counted up my money in the hotel, I was 2000baht shy of what I had spent. Only money exchanged was 1200 baht for the two bar fines and the 4 bar bills I paid (paid up each time I popped outside for a smoke). Realised that the smiling waitress I was buying whiskeys for was short changing me 500baht each bill…I was too stupid to notice so it happened 4 times in one night…DOH!!!
Day2 16th April Trip to Samui for 2 day conference
In a shocking realization that I was being totally ripped off, Taxis in Samui obviously run on a scarcer form of gas than their Bangkok counterparts as a 10minute ride from the airport to Chaweng was 400 Baht!!! And the meters in the taxis run on their own rhythm and pace which appears to be independent to the rotation of the wheels!! Second taxi rip off was again 400 baht to get from Chaweng to Lamai. Lesson learnt from earlier experience so ensured that the meter was running, kept an eye on the meter, 290 Baht and a minute later just before he pulls over to drop us off, his hand goes down and the meter goes off…400 baht please. It’s not a major deal as in terms of Euros, the fares are affordable, it’s the act of being ripped off which is frustrating. Whilst in Lamai, I spoke to some long term expat residents who said that they still get ripped off in taxis as they know the price and even if you negotiate and pre-agree a price, it doesn’t guarantee that they’ll stick to it unless it’s over the odds.
Scene in Lamai is very chilled out, plenty of smaller bars, each with their resident girls. Samui is a fairly low key location regarding the sex tourism as most people tend to favour Pattaya. As a result, chaweng tends to be the busier girlie scene with Lamai being a more chilled out LT 2days – week long affair for 500-3000 Baht 10-60 Euros. No one in our group bar-fined any of the girls in Lamai as they were friendly but possibly at the slightly older end of the scale (a lot in the 35+ category). We headed back to Chaweng and Soi Mango where there are the famed Gogo bars of Dream Girls and GB Lounge. We didn’t get into Dream Girls as some of the group were behaving like the pissed English twats that they were and were understandably refused entry by possibly the world’s smallest doorman. GB Lounge was a medium sized bar area with girls parading around. Average talent level would be 8.5/10 but the general mood of the place was fairly cold and the girls looked disinterested and miserable working there. The Reggae Pub is a great place to hang out and you also get to stroll the roadside bars leading up to the place. The girls in these places are mostly 9/10 with bar fines between 400-600baht and ST 500-1500 Baht and LT 1000-2500 Baht. I bar fined An from Bar2000 (around half way up the road on the right side) told her I was around for three days and she said 1500 Baht for 3 days and you pay the bar fine for 3 days. So basically 3000 baht (60 Euro) for 3 days! In the Reggae Pub there are plenty of attractive girls, and some actually are girls! The freelancers who hang around the Reggae Pub charge anything from 300baht for a bbbj in the toilets to 2000baht for ST. Prices are never fixed and vary from punter to punter depending on what price band the girl puts you in.
Not sure what the veterans think but I never negotiated the price with the girls I bar-fined. I asked them the price, if I liked it, I agreed, if not I moved on…but I’m still a wee puppy in this past-time and feel uncomfortable negotiating a lower price then expecting the best performance…particularly when we’re talking about 10-15 Euros…just my opinion and current comfort level.
Day 3 (2nd day in conference on samui)
Quickly figured out that I could sneak out around 2pm and be back for 4:30pm without being missed so ventured out for some daytime action. It’s not easy to find in Chaweng as most of the bars don’t open til later and the ones which were open only had a couple of girls cleaning ashtrays and wiping down tables. On the main Chaweng road quite far south, there’s a ‘family mart’ on the corner of Chaweng Road and Haad Chaweng 3. A few doors back from the family mart is Pink Lady (which was also called Fine Lady for a day). Sitting just inside the doorway are some absolute stunners but the location is essentially in the middle of a tourist market strip so all the guys are sneaking a peek in and all the girlfriends and wives are sneering down their noses at the girls…either way, everyone looks into Pink Lady. With my conference only a short way away, I didn’t want to get rumbled so headed up to the road behind the big starbucks. I had read on another forum about a massage place called King El which looked a likely location for some daytime action. Couldn’t find King El at all but found two others on the road which is to the right of starbucks. One was Nana Massage or Bana Massage which is the first one you see as you’re walking back out towards star bucks and the second is just called Thai Massage. In the Nana/Bana Massage there were four young girls possibly 18-22 years old. 3 were asleep on the couch and the other was texting on her mobile. In the second massage place, there were only 3 girls but all smiled as I approached. They offered me a seat on the couch and some iced tea then asked me where I was from etc..very relaxed opening. Then came the choice, pick one and it’s 300baht for a massage. I chose Nat as she was extremely pretty and also very friendly and thought that if there was no offer of a happy ending at least I would have some conversation for an hour of back rubbing. 10 minutes of solid muscle pounding and flirty conversation and I was then offered a ‘special massage’ for 1000 baht (20 Euro). Being a complete idiot and novice, I actually asked what this involved. For those of you as inexperienced as I am regarding the Thai experience, Thai girls are happy, they smile, they’re sexy and they do it for me, however when it comes to the command of the English language, their conversation is understandably limited so I got my response as a giggle followed by “you want to boom boom”. So for 20 Euros you get bbbj and as many positions as you can manage and clock watching isn’t a concept they’ve adopted. After being there for over an hour. She then asked me if I wanted her to do anything to help me cum. 500baht extra was agreed for anal (it was extra as she had never done it before), we tried it, it hurt her so we stopped and she finished with a fantastic bbbj cim. Thought Nat was fantastic so spoke to the mamasan and bar-fined her from the massage parlour for 800baht (most expensive barfine yet). Told her that I had already barfined another girl which she was cool with. Went back to the hotel, Nat sat on the balcony and had a drink whilst I headed back to the conference for another few hours.
If you barfine a girl for a few days, you simply get her mobile number and send her an sms and she turns up. Did this with An and pre warned her that I’d also bar-fined another girl, Nat. She wasn’t bothered in the slightest. Three of us went out for dinner and drinks, had a great time, there was no jealousy or competition between the two of them, and I was in heaven!
We ate at Zico’s Brazilian Grill – think barbeque for tossers. Meat is under seasoned and overcooked and you pay a lot for a very mediocre meal. Wouldn’t bother with this place. It was the girls who wanted to eat there as neither had eaten there…both were of the same opinion that it was ok but wouldn’t return.
Further along the strip heading north from Zico’s is a small cluster of shops and a drinking den called the sports bar. We went there for a few drinks and although I had Nat and An with me and trust me, these two are stunning, I spent the entire time drooling over the most attractive girl I have seen in Thailand so far. Slightly permed hair / maybe a wig in a brown / gold tint. Wears a Man Utd soccer top (can forgive her this small sin) and has the most incredible physique imaginable. Called herself Tom which put up my defences but both An and Nat were adamant that she was definitely a girl and not a Katoey / lady boy.
If I hadn’t have been with An and Nat, and despite my homophobic reservations of calling out “tom” in the throes of ecstasy, I would loved to have bar – fined her…but it was my last night in Samui and she would not be working until the following evening.
Be warned that some of the larger hotels charge a ‘joiners fee’. We were staying at the Centara Beach Resort in Chaweng and they wanted 1000baht for each guest per night. They’re supposed to take the girl’s ID etc but the reality is that they just wanted the 1000baht.
Day 4 Soi Cowboy, Bangkok
Staying back at the Dream Hotel (Soi 15), Soi Cowboy is a 5-10 min stroll. During the day, the Shadow bar is one of the few places which seemed to be open…don’t be put off if it appears all dark with no lights on, apparently they have an energy saving imitative to switch off unnecessary power for 2 hours a day…in a bar, it might be considered necessary to have lights and music!...I later discovered that the bar was owned by the same guy who owned Suzy’s opposite and a handful of other bars…a Dutchman who’s notoriously frugal...
In the shadow bar during the day, there are 7 girls working. I had a drink with Mae who’s a lovely big bubbly girl, great laugh but not my cup of tea. Bar fines here are 600 baht with ST 1500Baht and LT 3000Baht. There are two quite pretty girls working during the day, one always wears a dress and has long brownish hair and the other has a more exotic, prettier face , long black hair and typically wears tight singlet tops and combat pants. I never got to speak to either of these girls as there was literally a queue of customers waiting to be serviced. Mae jealously said that the two of them would be barfined up to 5 times each in a day shift for ST work…pretty girls…but I won’t be kissing them in a hurry!
Most of the bars start to wake up from 7pm. Long Gun is a bar on the opposite side of the street and has the most bizarre pussy shows I’ve witnessed. The shows in the Wallen aren’t even close to these. Apparently the Long Gun shows are considered a tame and feeble attempt of copying the Patpong shows. Admittedly, as intrigued as I was, it wasn’t really my thing so I strolled into another bar, Cocktail. A small gogo bar with booths down the right wall facing the bar and immediately behind the bar are 7 or 8 twisted poles with girls dancing on them. Of the 7/8 girls, two were absolute 10/10, 1 was possibly a 9/10, 2 were a low 7/10 and the others were fat and ugly. Bought a drink for one of the dancers called Porn (a fairly common Thai name) who was very chatty and friendly. Great body, stunning face. Asked her if she would be happy if I was to barfine her…and then said “you know I am a lady boy?” And the answer to that question would be a resounding NO! Being totally homophobic (not proud of the fact, just know my own level of comfort), I was strangely thrown into a dilemma. My preconceived ideas of a lady boy were that they were very feminine, pretty boys…but they were boys…you could tell they were boys…In that test, I scored ZERO! Porn looked every bit a girl, breasts, no adam’s apple, small hands, fantastic figure and great camel’s toe in her g string. The pecker said “bar fine and go for it” and my head said “it’s a guy”. So I barfined her…and stayed in the bar talking to her about ladyboys and what made her do it etc etc…fascinating! I told her I would tip her well but would not boom boom which she found hilarious and used every opportunity possible to be touchy and cuddly to see if I was squirming more or less. Great girl and if lady boys are your thing, she’s be a great girl to bar fine!
Went back to Rainbow4. It was around midnight and the place was heaving. Lek ran over and grabbed my arm and wanted me to sit in her service area, I gave her a dirty look which made her stop but was inconclusive as to her guilt regarding the lost 2000baht. Sat to the right hand side as you enter the place. The view of the girls was good but the girls on this stage were no way near as nice as the girls on the left hand stage from the previous visit. I had a couple of drinks, smiled at a nice looking girl who danced a little more energetically before joining me for a drink. Tee is short, definitely the hard bodied gym type and has massive goldy/ brown/ russet coloured hair. Loads of it. A disproportionate amount relative to her size. Very smiley girl with a gorgeous sexy pout and look about her. Conversation was absolutely nil as she spoke zero English, not even the basics but we managed to muddle through with hand signals and broken Japanese. Bar fined her, (600 baht standard) and agreed 4000 baht for LT. Back at the hotel, the night concierge called A was trying his hardest to remain professional when Tee stepped out of the cab. His words said “good evening” but his eyes wanted to say “high five, good choice, I’d hit that all night long!” But as I mentioned before, the staff at dream were very discreet. In the room, Tee showered, then dragged me into the shower bbbj cim, massage on the sofa after which she gestured to her wrist and held up an index finger and muttered the word ‘tomorrow’ in Japanese. I took this to mean that she was going to be a clock watcher and wanted to leave earlier…by 4am my body fought hard to complete a third successive pop and I prayed that 1pm would roll on faster so that Tee would piss off and I could sleep…it’s a sad day when a 32 year old wishes that the hot vixen who’s willing to do anything would leave so that he can sleep…As I was the customer, I told Tee I wanted to sleep, so she agreed a warm down massage. The 5 minute back rub was pleasant while it lasted, and before I was even consenting, we were at it again. With the aid of Tee, I accomplished a PB of 5 pops in a session (would later pay the price with temporary paralysis).
Day 5 Outcall from Annie’s
At 1pm, Tee woke me up to say that she was leaving and I tipped her 1500Baht extra as she was by far the most enthusiastic participant so far. Closed my eyes for 10 minutes and woke up at 630pm. My legs had turned to jelly as a result of the 5 pop session so rather than making the trip out to another bar, I simply called Aey at Annie’s Sauna and requested the outcall for O who had previously given me the mind blowing threesome. I was immediately offered another playmate as well but declined as all I really wanted was a massage, cuddle and bbbj. Further mind blowing sex was definitely not required! 3000 Baht for outcall from Annie’s. Apparently the girls will pick and choose whether or not they’ll do an outcall. Considerations are 1) whether they have actually met you before 2) which hotel you’re at. Apparently they could like you from a previous encounter but if you’re staying in a “cheap Charlie” as the girls call it, they probably wouldn’t do the outcall. Had no problems with O getting up to the room. Reception called to let me know she’d arrived then asked if it was ok for her to come up. Couldn’t be more convenient!
O arrived and was apparently very happy that I requested her again. As difficult as it was for me to state, I told her that I didn’t want the two girl mind blowing session from earlier in the week as I was exhausted and my legs were struggling to function. Another lesson learnt…where English speaking girls may like a guy with sophisticated elocution, for Thai girls, it’s typically lost in translation so O took it upon herself to administer another great bbbj followed by cowgirl…but not as I’ve know it. It was the best cow girl yet. Afterwards, we showered, got room service and just talked. As I started to recover, realization that it was my last night then played on my mind. Do I stay with O for the rest of the night or do I pay her and send her off and head out to Rainbow4? This is when I came to realize how amazingly chilled out the Thai girls are. O sensed that something was on my mind and asked so I explained my dilemma. She basically said that it was my choice and if I even wanted, we could go to a gogo together and if I don’t want to bar fine any girl from the gogo, we could come back to the hotel together…it’s obvious at his point that the rules of engagement were written by a guy! I didn’t take her up on the offer as utopian as it appeared, I felt a little guilty about dragging her out to a gogo then asking her to leave so I paid her and we shared a cab to Nana Plaza (Annie’s is a stone’s throw). Tipped O well again for just being such a great girl which she appreciated and headed to Rainbow4. 10minutes later I was leaving Rainbow4 with Tee on my arm and a grin from ear to ear…
To me, Bangkok is an incredible place! If you treat the ladies like princesses, they’ll treat you like a King.
Didn’t try the lady boys as I’m still not comfortable with that but even for a homophobe like me, I must concede that some of the lady boys were absolute stunners!
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