I am here on this forum to ask for help.

Is it possible for a guy to be friends and eventually fall in love with a window girl?

I know that it is all about the money for them, there is no real love, no emotions. It is all just an act. But after repeated sessions with a window girl, continued contact with her, is it possible to be friends and eventually fall in love with a window girl?

I never used to believe I could fall in love again.

Any ideas, opinions and help would be welcome.

I have a couple of good window-friends, I don't care that much if they make good or bad buisness, and 100% I don't mind if (when) they count money instead of clients.

To fall in love is a different issue. It has something to do with life outside of those windows.
You can build something if you focus on the person, not on the service and not even on the friend.

good luck
xiola

Thanks Xiola for your reply.

I value your advice and will take it in to consideration.

At some point, the window girls have to retire from the profession. They have to have friends and they will fall in love and be with someone again in the future.

Sometimes, the sessions with a girl are so good and personal that the boundary between love and just sex gets blurred.

Over time, clients almost have a 'special relationship' with a certain girl and may develop feelings.

Just an observation based on my own personal experience.

You're welcome.

The retirement (not necessarily because of ripe age) trouble reminds me how I suddenly lose last year any contact to one of the most extraordinary girl I have ever known.
Bulgarian, kind of Victoria Cabello, but gracefully enhanced :))))
Losing the chance of having sex with her means almost nothing to me, I just regret the loss of an enchanting chemistry full of harmony.

In reply to the op,

Falling in love with a window girl happens a lot. For instance, on the dutch hookers forum this is most discussed topic.

The chance that this results in a relationship is however small, and if it does it usually leads
to nothing but trouble (her work, other country/culture, issues with former 'boyfriends' and so on).
I know of a couple of such cases.

> Over time, clients almost have a 'special relationship' with a certain girl and may develop feelings.

Yes, and if she stops working tomorrow she will be gone.

My advice: enjoy your time with the lady but don't get too much emotionally involved.
Yes, like you said sometimes the boundary between love and just sex gets blurred, but
remember as long as you pay I think the situation is very clear.
Keep those feet firmly on the ground, watch your spending pattern and go visit other girls:)

Good luck.

Very sound advice jefke couldn't have put it better myself!

Totally agree.

There is also this wrinkle. It's not always true, but even if a girl isn't being pimped out or otherwise abused very often girls in this line of business have significant social, personality, or psychological problems. With those girls even if they fall heads over heels in love with you (something already known to be very unlikely) they turn out to be troubled and difficult to be in a relationship with. The very problems that lead them to prostitution become problems in a relationship.

There are, of course, the occasional girls that have a pretty good grip on life, and for whom this is just a way to make money. But these girls are the least likely of all to get into a relationship with a client. They typically all ready have a boyfriend anyway, prefer to have rigid boundaries between their work and private life, and may even (sorry!) have the attitude that outside of work they would personally have nothing to do with "the kind of man" who sees prostitutes.

So it's a bit like the old joke that "I'd never want to join a club that would have me as a member." You probably don't want to have a relationship with a prostitute that would accept a client as a new boyfriend.

Think that's the best piece of advice on the page! :-) Sometimes a little more difficult than it should be though! ;-) lol!

Neurosynth, you're right, some of these girls can come from very "difficult" backgrounds and therefore find it difficult to form relationships anyway.

So really, simplest thing all round, as already suggested, pay your money - have your fun - leave any emotions at the door.

Peace

(N.B.// Sometimes it's easier said than done! lol)

Oh dear - that old chestnut again. You can't trust a "normal" girl, let alone one working in a window, who is an expert at leveraging men to get what she wants.

The best way to learn about women is to study our closest animal relatives. Just saw a TV programme about a troop of feral baboons in Cape Town, South Africa. As the commentator noted, the female of the species will withhold sex in order to extract favours &, even though all females are only allowed to mate with the alpha male, they will allow lesser runts to impregnate them in exchange for a handful of nuts. Sound familiar ?

Unfortunately not. From my experiences a handful of nuts will not do the trick.

Haha, RHM has hit the nail on the head! :)

Falling in love with a windowgirl is fine though, as long as it's confined to the kamer. Once you step outside the kamer then forget about her. Of course, it's possible to be friends as well.. with the odd text message and email etc inbetween visits to her. But we always have to bear in mind that the lady in question will always flatter a good client so he will visit her again on his next trip. As long as the man understands this then there's no harm done.

It has gone a little too far though, when a man starts throwing all his money at her via gifts and very extended sessions (containing mostly chat), and then starts to hang around outside her kamer when she visits with other clients. I've heard plenty of these tales. Love in the kamer is one thing... unwanted and uncontrolled infatuation is something else.

I know what you're going to say when I tell you this, but I think that stripper down at The Kitten Klub really liked me. The little red-haired one, Kandi. I don't know what it was, but we just seemed to have this... connection.

From the moment I sat down, there was a powerful chemistry between us. I could tell by the way she looked me right in the eye. It was the kind of look that conveyed an understanding between a man and a woman. Eye contact can be a very primal thing.

I could also tell she liked me by all the time she spent dancing in front of me. She could have done her splits and backbends facing any guy in the place, but she almost always did them facing me. And when she crawled up the brass pole, she usually used the one right near me.

I know, I know. You're thinking she was just being nice to me for the tips. But it wasn't like that. You see, whenever she looked at me and smiled, I could sense it was a real human moment. Kandi, she's not like the other girls at The Kitten Klub. For one thing, she's obviously had formal dance training. More importantly, though, she's got a down-to-earth quality about her. A vulnerability, an innocence, almost. I think she could tell I really understood her.

Kandi also really responded to the way I slipped her the money. Unlike some guys, who shove the cash right down the front of the G-string, I make a point of showing respect for the girls by tucking the bills in the side, near the hip. Believe me, the girls notice that.

In case you still doubt there was something special between me and Kandi, let me tell you that when her stage show was over, she came over to my table. I was flattered, really, especially when she asked my name. I told her it was Frank. And you know what? She remembered. We must have talked for at least 20 minutes, and she used my name a lot.

She also winked at me a lot. Whenever I said something funny, she would just laugh and wink. It sounds strange, but she had a kind of shy quality about her. I think she's probably a very private person in her regular life, a very sweet and loving person, not like you usually think of strippers.

At one point in our conversation, I told Kandi I didn't smoke or drink. She smiled, and her eyes got really big, and she said she didn't either. We really made a connection there. She said drinking is nasty and makes her feel unhealthy. I knew just what she meant. So many exotic dancers are into drugs or are problem drinkers, and it's nice to meet one who's concerned about her health like me.

Of course, it couldn't last. The management of The Kitten Klub doesn't like deadbeats, and, somehow, I'd gone through all my money by about 11 p.m. Kandi was really sad I had to go. She said she had to work all night, and she couldn't go out afterwards because she had to study. (She's dancing to put herself through med school.) But she told me she'd be dancing next Wednesday and said I should come back and spend time with her whenever she's working.

I can't wait until next Wednesday .....

Wow! Thanks guys for all your comments.

It has given me a lot to think about.

I think what most of you are saying is right. To them, we are just customers/clients.

It is all just about the money.

We should leave any emotions in the kamer and live our normal lives once we leave the room.

Enjoy the good times and forget about any potential connection, it is just an act from girls who are exceptionally good at acting, especially when it comes to making love.

Cheers again everyone.

RHM, if that was written as satire I think it's pretty brilliant. If not...well....