billybob69 wrote:
But then I think whether it is a need to 'be with a women'?
i.e. any women, because when I'm mongering I always set myself the rule that I only go with girls that I wouldn't be able to get for 'free', i.e. I never session with an average looking girl which I might be able to pick up in bars, clubs etc.
Therefore I wonder if mongering is about having sex or is about having sex with only hot women or is about having sex with as many different women as possible?
Speaking for myself it is the combination of physical intimacy, the need to 'be with a woman' and of course sex.
The girl has to be attractive but this comes at 2nd place. She does not need to be a stunner/model/playmate (although it adds to the fun). I've had a period though where it was all about more girls, and more attractive.
I think that here there is difference between men in a relationship and single men. Married men can have intimacy easy,
so their motivation will be more focused on the sex-drive related things (frequency, diversity, more attractive women).
gazza wrote:
Sometimes I need sex and the intimate company of a woman, it's that simple.
I am single and very happy to be so, it suits me and my lifestyle and the last thing I want or need is a serious steady relationship, but what I do need is sex on a semi-regular basis. So to be able to pay and get it when I want and with who I want is great for me.
Same problem for me
As a single middle aged guy it is for me not possible to fullfill the needs mentioned above with just occasional one-night stands.
A 'fuck-buddy' would be theoretically ideal but 1) hard to find 2) potentionally dangerous. Someone may fall in love and you never know who it is going to be. Add to that that we are used to have sex with very attractive women, far outside the reach we could get in normal life.
Quitting:
When quitting a habit you need a good motivation + optionally a replacement. When you want to quit smoking there is a good motivation (health) and there are replacements (nicotine patch, e-cigs etc...). Plus you can be perfectly happy without nicotine after your body is used to *not* having it.
For sex and physical intimacy it is different
- motivation: money is a good one. There are several others depending on your view on prostitution
- replacement: here is the problem. There is no real replacement. (yes I know there are certain manual techniques, they do not count as a replacement)
- if your sex-life is lacking you may become frustrated/unhappy. You will not get used to it.
These are basicly the problems for me to quit. As long as I have the money I will be happier with it than without, but I try to keep it at the minimum.