Gaston, I can sense the excitement from Coach Skip for sure...

"Beats the hell out of a strippenkaart, though!"
What's a strippenkaart? A tip for the stripper?? It's been too long.

"Sign me up for the hot tub immersion qualification course also."
That's not necessary to sign up. You are automatically enrolled for that Navy Seal training. You have to get a passing grade before you get your clues to meet Finnish Katarina, Russian Melissa, Polish Melissa and ....

"Maybe I could bring a flashlight?"
That's unnecessary tooooooo. Your one-eye monster will lead the way!! "Don't stop. Zimmer time.... Oh O....." Can you sing, "Do a little dance? Make a little love? Get down tonight......"

"And these “Fuck Me Boots” Grasshopper mentions, where can I get a pair?"
Did you mean to ask, "Gaston, what's your size??" Ha Ha......

"Sounds like a prudent investment."
You wish you had invested in McD's stock. Take a look at the 5 year chart.

Finally, to my sweet babies in paradise, I shall return!!

Regards from Paradise Island,
Fred

Gaston,

First, in your initial post you didn't specify that they were ladies boots... Anyway, the concept sounded pretty good to me.

No pole for dancing? Bummer! Guess I'll just have to bring my own! You are, as the Brit's say "spot on" with your other observations. What is it? A fortnight+2 now?

Fred,

-"What's a strippenkaart? A tip for the stripper?? "

Good one! I wish they were.

-"Finally, to my sweet babies in paradise, I shall return!! "

I hope that wasn't meant for me and Gaston!

Ok, enough of the island life, get back to Germany and do some work, man!

Ciao,

Coach
("two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions.....")

Skip, pleeeaaase !

Were you so temporarily hormonally enhanced that you did not read correctly that the whole description I wrote ('Nice face .... 'fuck me' -boots') was about the lady ? You should know by now that 'IJsberen' are only allowed a bathrobe or towel - certainly no boots. Sometimes I wonder what fantasies you have.

It's a fortnight plus one, since I will celebrate All Souls in GT - how appropriate, non ?

Gaston.

stop this McD stuff - in an hour I will be doing decent shopping for dinner
some cheese up front; let's see if they have Banon
cuisse de canard confit
new potatoes - well, maybe mashed with Parmesan cheese
Gewurztraminer, I would think
moelleux au chocolat - I have some decent Porto left to drink along
mmm, that will do for an ordinary Tuesday evening....

Ok, Grasshopper:

Help me understand how you are going to prepare this crystallized duck thigh. I certainly hope that you are going to rub it, at the very least, with some capsaicin spices, perhaps oriental five spice or even curry. Otherwise I fear your choice of wine might be less enchanting than what you anticipate. I am concerned, as well, as to the preparation of the potatoes. I believe new with fresh rosemary would be preferable to mashed with Parmesan (too pedantic). And what of the pan?

Which house produces this Gewurztraminer? It would most certainly not cross my lips if it did not come from Léon Beyer, Schlumberger or Zind-Humbrecht. But that’s just me.

The sack is a nice finishing touch......

Bon apetite,

Skip
(“…hold the pickles, hold the…" oops! Sorry)

Coach,

Chrystallised ? Mais non ! The tigh is slowly smothered in it's own fat. No peppers, curry or whatever - way to spicy. This is a subtle thing.
Rosemary is not bad at all if the potatoes are new. At least you are showing some effects of my learnings.
The Gewurztraminer is from Schlumberger indeed (easiest to get), but I have other options, too.

What 'sack' as a nice touch ?

Gaston.

advice : never ever take Hungarian Gewurztarminer (it exists !) I tried Australian once and at least survived drinking this, now I'm waiting for a decent New Zealandish version (this could be a good thing, seriously).

Gentlemen,

I wonder what would generate a higher TV rating?
1. Martha Stewart Living
2. Gaston Home Cooking + Davide Wine Tasting
3. Education and Training by Grasshopper and Coach

“What 'sack' as a nice touch ?”

Gaston, may I suggest a kangaroo sack? You can ask any girls to tear it up for 100 euros and they will all fail. Right, Dedalus?!

“Ok, enough of the island life, get back to Germany and do some work, man!”

Yes, Coach. I have been refining my dancing steps in the Dragon Bar, body surfing at the beach, drinking plenty of juices and non-alcoholic Pina Colada, eating pasta, seafood and fruits to prepare myself for the upcoming inspections in the paradise. Let’s hope that the lucky luck will be on my side….

Warm Regards at 82 degrees F,
Fred at Paradise Lagoon (thanks for the wi-fi technology)

Fred in Paradise,

Are you ever gonna’ leave that place?

Interesting question to you pose about the TV thing. I have to tell you straight-up that I have mild concerns about Chez Gaston on TV. I’m confident that he is a handsome enough fellow, especially in his chef’s hat or some type of beret, but he tends to cook in languages that I hardly understand. My primary concern, though, is that if an intern with big eyes and “fuck-me boots” happened to walk across the stage, or be in the studio audience, it would be a short lived show. Although quite educational…

Fortuitous that you should mention Grasshopper and I on training. As we write, he and I are in the process of producing a training video/reality show demo tape for FKK-Sauna Club wannabe’s (like me). It is based on a GT theme and will be shot on location. We have encountered one small problem, in that most of where we need to film in GT is evidently too dark. We have already produced the infomercial and you should be seeing it soon between 3:30 and 3:45 AM GMT+6. Tune in.

Martha would win, especially if she came out wearing those, well, you know … boots. Yesss

I confused Sack with Porto, mea culpa, but Gaston caught me. Can you drink kangaroo sack? I don’t think that I would.

I am truly amazed that you are existing nearly a week without mention of energy bars. You’ve been away too long, dude. You’re eating too healthy, too. Looks like Gaston gotten to you.

TZ,

Coach

Fred,
I think teaming up with Davide sounds a very good idea to me. We could make a big show RAI (Italian television) -style. You should see these things (on the cable in my dear hometown). Music, beautiful (female) assistants.... And so what if there's one in 'fuck me' boots ? (happens in reality too)

Skip,
Lighting problems solved ! The good GT Management (I like them again since last dinner) has renovated the top panels in the atrium (where the sauna and whirlpool are. Lighting level is there now very nice - and good enough for filming the much anticipated pool scenes.

Now, isn't Martha Steward a bit too much on the MILF side ? Even in boots ? We have to put strict limits to good taste.

Gaston.

Excellent idea, hopefully the guys at Hofstatter will provide a few Kolbenhof (Gewürztraminer) bottles for our project - gotta talk to them soon......

'Music, beautiful (female) assistants..'. Oh well, if you do some channel surfing at night you may stumble upon Hungarian pornstar MAYA GOLD stripping, answering phone calls, pleasuring herself, and speaking perfect Italian - and of course wearing knee-high 'fuck me' boots!

D.

Davide,

Gewurztraminer from Alto Adige ? Never had in my life - it shows you're never too old to learn. Considering the region of origin, this is most promising, though at 21 Euro for a 2005 vintage it better BE good. Grazie Davide, I'm on the lookout for an importer in Belgium now. And yes, I think I'll approve of mrs. Gold as principal assistant - provided she wears 'the' boots. Better than Martha Steward (I know Skip's taste is geting, er, deviant, and now poor Fred is starting also....)

salute,

Gaston.

Davide,

“…if you do some channel surfing at night you may stumble upon Hungarian pornstar MAYA GOLD stripping…”

What channel are you referring to, mi amici? Evidently not one of the ones that I get on my TV. Only infomercials at that time of night. Well, some Korean programming and a few religious programs too. But I suppose your show is somewhat of a religious experience… Arrividerci.

Grasshopper,

You are getting carried away and losing focus (again!). “Music, beautiful (female) assistants.... And so what if there's one in 'fuck me' boots” We are talking about a serious cooking show here not jello wrestling! Need I remind you that you have only a fortnight left to train. Since you are taking three days off each weekend that only leaves eight legitimate training days.

“(I know Skip's taste is geting, er, deviant, and now poor Fred is starting also....)”

Skip apparently has no taste and if you read his voluminous posts, Fred is starting nothing new. You, however, are always bringing up the footwear issues. I am merely trying to understand and clarify your message. Besides, to be a deviant you have to have an opportunity to deviate, non?

Bonjour,

Skip
(advice: try and always get the bottles with the cork instead of the ones with the screw on tops, they cost a lot more but…)

Skip,

I realise that you can't get all Italian trash channels (forgive me, Davide) on your cable. Maybe try satellite ? Trust me, it's glorious sleaze. You can always Google some (even Wikipedia some...) and enjoy the looks of mrs. Gold @ home.

What's wrong with a good pair of boots - as long as there is a decent lady in them ? You can pull 'm out slowly - she can leave them on - anything goes....

Sorry, but cork is out and screwtop is in. Cork, even if painstakingly correct applied, will lead to oxydation in due course. One by one, the better whites will be screwtopped. It is already starting in the Loire region (Chablis, Sancerre), where some of the better negociants have converted to screwtop, even for their best wines. I wholly agree with them, having tried some screwtopped stuff - extremely lively and fresh. The only whites probably profiting from cork are heavily oaked Chardonnay's which need some smoothing and refinement after immersion with oak powder (legal in EU from this vintage onwards, already legal in the rest of the world - a bloody shame as far as I am concerned) and are not my taste anyway. Cork as such is just a posh marketing thing for the snobs.

cheers,

Gaston.

Ciao Skip,

I'm indeed referring to one of those trash (local) channels Gaston just mentioned. I'm sure there's no chance to get it outside the city limits, let alone outside Italy. However, I've seen sweet MAYA do much better elsewhere (Private's 'Victoria'S Wet Secrets' for example). The TV strip show is nothing special, I was truly amazed at her almost flawless italian though.

'I realise that you can't get all Italian trash channels (forgive me, Davide)' No problem, Gaston. The Simpsons and The Family Guy reruns are basically the only things I'm watching these days...

D. (wondering if Cindy Lords and Nikki Belucci will ever appear on those italian trash channels)

Yes Coach Skip,

Enough of the relaxing life style at the island. I am on my way …

“I am truly amazed that you are existing nearly a week without mention of energy bars.”
Skip, they have Jamba Juice over there - Mango A Go Go with various kinds of boost (fiber, Vitamins C, performance, etc. ) made energy bars obsolete for a while.

Davide,

“you may stumble upon Hungarian porn star MAYA GOLD stripping, answering phone calls, pleasuring herself, and …..”

I can go through my motivational materials and find Maya Gold as well. Excellent choice!

Gaston,

Martha Stewart can be the host for the Grasshopper-Coach Reality Show - “So you think you can dance horizontally”?! Ha Ha….

Regards,
Fred

"I know Skip's taste is geting, er, deviant, and now poor Fred is starting also...."

Gaston,

Oh no... I am not into MILF over 29. I hope that's clear. My original intent was Martha Stewart Living as a base point for comparison sake, not for fuck sake.

Regards,
Fred

Ouch,

I'm relieved there, Fred.

Gaston (out for business tomorrow)

Meis amis, (good salutation, Gaston)

Davide, when I studied in Italia they didn’t have channels, let alone cable. Now, tawdry skank (glorious sleaze) on the air? Broadcast to Belgium? The apocalypse can’t be far off… (saw that on one of the religious channels while I was surfing for Ms. Gold’s show) Evidently Hungarian’s have an affinity for speaking Italian, wasn’t Ciccolina Hungarian, as well?

Grasshopper, there is nothing wrong with a good pair of boots as long as they are made of leather and don’t have those silly-assed 10 cm plexiglas soles on them. Can’t say too much for the naugahide ones though.

It pleases me to hear that the fine vintners on the Continent are using screw top bottles. Confirms what I had suspected all along; that Ripple, MD 20/20 and Wild Russian Vanya were much better offerings than they were given credit for. And all for less than 2 Euro per bottle!

Fred, don’t get too hopped up on that mango joy juice. You’ll be like Tweak on South Park. Too wired when you land to accomplish anything. Or worse yet, you might take leave of your senses be waylaid by a lady over 29. I’m curious; do you card them or something? Remember, you have an assignment as well as Grasshopper. One of you bound to start producing some search results...eventually.

Enjoy the week-end. Gaston will, he’s taking three days (as, you might recall, I predicted).

Coach Skip

Gentlemen,

Greetings from sunny and cool Frankfurt. The plane landed just before noon. I am going to get changed and get back to the field immediately.

"Remember, you have an assignment as well as Grasshopper."

Yes Coach, I remember that assignment. Until she moves to World or Palace, I would have little chance to look her up in that dirty place.

Cheers,
Fred going to the Candy Store

Skip,
'Evidently Hungarian’s have an affinity for speaking Italian, wasn’t Ciccolina Hungarian, as well? '
yes, she also sat in the parliament for a while back in 1992 I think..... However, Hungarian sounds and looks pretty different from Italian. Rumanian is very similar. I would say it sounds different, but as far as reading is concerned, I can understand almost everything.

Fred,
Have fun as usual. Any plans for a NRW excursion, or will you stick to the Frankfurt area this weekend?

D.

"Any plans for a NRW excursion"

Hi Davide,

My plans are as fluid and flexible as usual - NRW is definitely in the mixes. I feel the need to repay Gaston's kindness in updating us on GT by doing the same this weekend.

Regards from Frankfurt,
Fred