Have been at the Berlinale film festival with a friend the last few days and went to Artemis for the first time. I haven't been to a club since before the pandemic and was quite anxious to visit. I'd read a bunch of articles of how it was supposedly one of the premiere clubs in Germany.

This past Saturday night (arrived around 10pm) we paid the 90€ entry fee, set up our lockers and took a walk around. My expectations after reading about the club were that it should be at least as good as the Frankfurt clubs but I was sorely disappointed. Compared to my experiences in Frankfurt years ago Artemis seemed smaller, with only one active bar area that was relatively unpleasant; filled thick with smoke and pumping out loud, hip-hop tracks. A quick stroll through the facility revealed a selection of women that just wasn't in the same category of what I'd experienced in Frankfurt years back. Don't know if it's whether the times have changed in the years since I last visited and this is currently the new fkk-normal, or if it's specific to Artemis. The club otherwise was relatively clean and the front desk and staff were friendly.

The lack of more attractive women made me think of another club from years back where the girls were probably the hottest of any other club I remember- Planet Happy Garden. I googled it and found some links that seem to no longer be active. Not sure if it still exists and is open but I sure long for it's atmosphere of gorgeous women.

Tomorrow I head with my friend to Prague where I know my favorite club ever, K5, is unfortunately no longer open but will try to check out some of the incall houses. My flight back to the states leaves from Frankfurt and plan to revisit Oase, Palace & perhaps World, where am hoping the selection of women will be closer to what I remember.

Happy Valentines Day,
TheAdmiral

Hi Admiral,

I think I remember you from like a lifetime ago, yeah, when German FKKs had their heyday...

Anyway, a quick comment and update on the club situation in Frankfurt today:

Things have shifted a bit from the old glory days...At least at this cold time of the year, you're probably not best served by visiting World anymore...same for Oase and Palace...Sharks in Darmstadt to the south of Frankfurt, however, about an 18-minute train ride with frequent connections from Frankfurt Hbf, is THE place to go, the in form club at the moment. Depending on which day of the week you go, you can expect 50+ girls and probably the only decent LU of the Hessen clubs. 65 entry vs what you paid at Artemis will comensate somewhat for additional travel costs.

Sharks will give you a whisper or two of a club LU on order of "the good ol' days"...

ST

Hi ST,

Great to hear from you and many thanks for your advice. It's interesting, when I was at Artemis I commented to one of the girls how the selection wasn't what I hoped and she also mentioned Sharks as somewhere where it was better. I had vaguely remembered going to Sharks years ago and, not being wowed at the time, I kind of dismissed her comment. But now that you're confirming what she told me will definitely be taking a ride there to visit.

Tonight I just came back from a decent night in Prague. Although K5 is gone (they apparently lost their lease) I went with my friend to a club I'd gone to years ago called Lotos. It was a bit of a cab ride out there and I had no idea what to expect (years ago I remember having a nice time). Just before we were about to enter two Czech men were coming out and told us not to bother- that there were only two girls working with only one that was remotely attractive. One of the guys was a cab driver and he told us a much better place to go was ShowPark, which I didn't know about, and that he could take us there. I was a bit skeptical that he wasn't just looking for business so one of us did pay the entry fee to go into Lotos only to find his description was right on target. He drove us to ShowPark which is basically an indoor RLD along the lines of Alkmaar's indoor rooms. Only difference is that you pay for access to it (400 Korunas for 24 hours & includes a drink). Girls were attractive from all parts of Europe, saw a petite 19 year old from Madrid but she kinda tried to rip me off- then saw a blond from Moldova (or was it Moldavia?) with a killer body who was super sweet and allowed me to return to my hotel with a smile on my face.

Disappointing to hear Oase, World & Palace have seen better days and look forward to checking out Sharks. Should I not even bother visiting Oase?

Thanks once again & best wishes,
TA

Should one visit Oase? My view, for what it's worth: a big flat "Nein Danke". Unfortunately, Oase as a club with good to decent LU and a level of "couch action" is gone. Oase is a mere shadow of what it used to be...it's sad to say this, but true. The long-time owner of the club, Mauro, experienced some personal crises and that seems to have affected his thinking and approach. He should have listened to the old addage: "If it works, don't fix it!" But instead he went ahead and remodeled the club, reconfigured the whole lounge with, in my view, mostly negative results. Gone altogether is the atomosphere and the Kino, where we used to have so much erotic excitement, is no longer in existence. Then a year or so ago, Mauro decided to retire and handed the club lock-stock-and-barrel to his son, who continued the downward trajectory of this once great club. Perhaps both of them should collaborate on publishing a new book: "How to ruin a great FKK Club".

Maybe things will improve in a few months when we enter the warmer weather and Oase's great Garden asset will be used, but the point is the club has little if any momentum and the girl culture inside ain't good.

Remember the line, "Just get a Mac!"? Now: Just go to Sharks in Darmstadt...You'll be happy. I too went to Sharks years ago and was not too overwhelmed, but lots of things have changed over the past few years and now Sharks, in terms of LU at least, beats all the other Hessen clubs rolled into one...my opinion, of course. But hundreds and thousands of mongers, who share this assessment, can't be wrong...right?

Cheers,

ST

Thanks ST, I think I'll now look for a hotel in/near Darmstadt rather than trying to commute from Frankfurt as I'll be there a few days.

Am still in Prague and have to travel to Munich. Out of curiosity I googled for fkks & saw a Munich club listed, "fkk-Colosseum" that seems to be open. Any insights on the situation there?

*Update: Whoops, strike that, another page on the Colosseum website says they're still closed

Colosseum is in Augsburg, not Muenchen...Augsburg is about 30-minutes away from Muenchen. Even if not closed, still not worth it imo. Girls from multiple clubs around Germany are converging on Sharks first and foremost, then ACA and Samya as well. Sharks is generally getting fairly decent reports of late...

ST

Like you said, "Just get a Mac". Am looking forward to experiencing Sharks.

Sad to confirm that the "Big 3" clubs around Frankfurt have lost their shine.
Honestly, with all the shutdowns, it may be a year before girls return in numbers, and there is some level of normal to compare.
Fred was always a big fan of Sharks. I wish he would pop up to comment.
The other two clubs that have been recommended to me are FInca and Samaya.
Neither are far enough south to visit from Bavaria.
I've never heard much good about clubs in Bavaria. The rules are different than the NRW, and that messes with price and consistency.
I think the smaller clubs are going to be able to re-assemble staff faster, and should have an advantage coming out of this.
I'm also seeing and hearing clubs that had a history of friction between management and girls are just getting killed.
After two years of learning to side-hustle, the girls are just not putting up with crappy management.
Babylon was just savaged by unhappy girls, and i've heard worse from Villa Vertigo refugees.
For what it is worth, Bernd's is almost entirely unchanged, but if you are eyeing 19yo blond hardbodies, it might not be your cup of tea.
Dreaming of visits to GT, glowing from a romp in a Heidi-Hut, telling jokes in the Jacuzzi...The glories of my youth that can never be revisited....

Weasel

I visited Artemis last summer. I have enjoyed my visits there for years. Unfortunately it would have been a complete bust except the visit was redeemed by finding a girlfriend from previous years was still working. We ended up having a great time, but I think I would have been severely disappointed had she not been there. The selection was limited and I think covid has had a devastating effect on attitude and enjoyment of the girls. In the U.S. we have had "The Great Resignation" where people have been quitting their jobs in droves. Maybe this is hitting SW as well.

I need a little help ST. What does "LU" mean?

Line up I believe

Makes sense. Thanks

Hi Weasel, glad to hear from you & thanks for the advice (and unfortunate confirmation of the club situation).
Yes! Even 20 years later! 20 years older! YES I do still want a blonde, teen, hardbody! :). Please don't tell me those glory days can't be revisited, my hopes are pinned on that proving untrue. Hopefully things will improve as Covid fades into a distant memory.

For the first time in my life this trip I rented a car in Germany and drove on the highways with no speed limits- it was very liberating. Amazing thing is I was cruising at 95mph, yet at least 3 high end Mercedes still passed me like I was standing still. Am in Munich now and plan to train it to Frankfurt or Darmstadt & work out the particulars to finally swim with the Sharks.

Hey Admiral,

Good to see you post again,,like old times. You were the one that enticed me to visit K5 Relax and I believe I was the one that introduced you to PHG,,with your sidekick "Rear Admiral." I am doing a series of Bike/Boat Trips from Amsterdam to Maastricht for a week, then I have a week in the NRW area so I plan on checking out GT before my second leg Koblenz south through the Mosel (Sp) Valley of Germany.

I have been to AMS 3 times during the Pandemic and reminisced about our NYE Party at the Kras,,and the subsequent trip to PHG. Good times for sure. Amsterdam has lost its place in the Wallen but things happen,,time happens,,,still one of my favorite places to stroll,,just not in the wintertime any longer

Cheers from Mexico (I moved here two years ago)

James

You want to check out GT, eh? You better bring a fire extinguisher, or better yet a shovel: The club burned down last year...nothing but ashes (and fond memories) now....

ST

Yikes,,sorry to hear that. I found this on their website

Dear guests and friends of the GoldenTime Sauna Club.

The GoldenTime IS STILL ALIVE AND KICKIN ‘!!

In cooperation with our friends of the Oceans FKK Saunaclub in Düsseldorf, we will pitch our tents there from December 1st, 2021 from 11:00 in the morning. From then on, GoldenTime is valid daily from 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. in the Oceans! Afterwards, from 11:00 p.m., the Ocean's team takes over the scepter again.

Everything you have come to know and love from GoldenTime in Brüggen will be there again, i.e. the GoldenTime day ticket, among other things, will continue to cost € 60 as usual, and all well-known services will be included in this day ticket. The whole paired with the ambience of the Oceans nudist sauna club. Of course, the GoldenTime day pass purchased between 11:00 a.m. and 11:00 p.m. remains valid after 11:00 p.m. so that you can enjoy the flair of the ocean afterwards.

You will of course also meet many familiar faces from our team from reception and the counter there, as well as some new ones!

Until then - GoldenTime meets Oceans!