After returning from an extended business trip in Berlin I finally have the time to write a report on Artemis Berlin.
During my week in this huge sprawling city I found myself at Artemis 3 separate times over 2 days. Taking advantage of the leave and return policy that they adopt where on the same day you can come and go as you please.
Visit 1 Tuesday 3rd Oct – German bank holiday 9:00pm to midnight
After obtaining the address and map off multimap, I decided that the best thing from my charlottenburg hotel was to take the U and S to the Westkruez station which was a quick 2 stops from the Zoo station. Westkruez at 9:00pm is a very quite station but felt safe. After finding the exit signs to the Halenseestraße the stairs led to a single exit and a lightly lit single exit road which I followed. Joining the slip road from the A100 I walked downhill to the left until I could see the Artemis neon through the trees also to the left. The property backs onto the railway line and behind a large alloy wheel shop, which was closed.
I would say very easily found via the railway network.
As previous reports indicate from the outside it looks like a very large detached ex company headquarters building converted into Artemis. Very big with hotel style front doors that are opened via buzzer when they see you approach.
The same largish car park serves both the alloy Wheel Company and Artemis during the day.
Without hesitation wouldn’t cause any concern with nerves of being spotted in a town centre environment, as is Artemis. With the line of maybe 10 taxis waiting at the door it had the feel of a regular nightclub.
On entry into reception the details match as previous reports €70 to get in and €60 with a girl. The option of a robe or a towel. I prompted for a robe. The valuable safes are up 3 or 4 steps onto a raised platform which are overlooked by reception. Maybe 400 off them and 150 in the ladies section. Then carry on walking and the same key is for the lockers for your clothes that matches the same number for the valuable safe.
After changing it was time to explore and firstly walking downstairs via a very large circular spiral staircase. Downstairs a VERY impressive pool, sauna, steam, plunge pool and was where I remained for the first hour or so. –and could have remained all day like a pure leisure club with or without girls.
At the back is a bar where some girls were always collected either at the bar or on some couches. I suppose it peaked at around 7 girls in this area at anyone time. In a way initially disappointed but in ratio not all disaster as around 20 men max at any 1 time. I must say that all of the girls were good lookers to stunning. The girls were naked but most wore some sort of midrift belt etc.
While I was going through the cycle of sauna, pool, shower, sauna etc I must have been approached by everyone of them. As the 9:00pm became 10;30pm the girls became very “do you want sex”…. “no its ok maybe later”.. “ok see you later”. This was very different to GT where I found the girls were willing to just sit and talk and couch without limits, without pressure. These girls were just purely into turnover. Just do it and move onto the next. Maybe good for a novice as it makes life very easy in a way but not what I expected at all.
Again wouldn’t say disappointed but I seem to compare everything to GT and not in the same league yet for quantity and approach and attitude to GT girls.
Decided that was time to move on more and explored the lower rooms and Kino where the 6 rooms were empty and just a single guy in the Kino chairs which was basically a row of seats - which would make life difficult.
Next thing a Russian girl asking for sex in the kino and grabbing my tool. “Sorry love just got here and exploring at mo”. Not even names and where you from now.!
After moving upstairs to the main bar and the same level as reception again the layout mighty impressive, great bar and wouldn’t be out of kilt with your favorite nightclub. More girls here but maybe only around 20 very maximum at any one time with maybe 5-10 being “absent”.
Again good lookers but mighty pushy, want sex attitude, no couch action to be found and the time was coming when 2 or three groups of drunk males were getting roudy. This was starting to feel like a regular brothel with naked girls.
Backdownstairs to the kino and was approached but Barbara from hungary. “do you want sex” well hi and nice to meet you to..J. This time I played ball as she would have been gone.
When in the room CIM €50 extra..passed on that as couldn’t be asked to argue. Maybe I should have clarified this prior to entering the room. Wont go into details but very good overall. But again considering GT cim, OWO, couch action, drink at the bar, chatting and getting to know each other all adds to the build up……….. again disappointed.
This place must be full of tourists. (me included J)
Off home it was for me at midnight for a rethink? Was it all because it was a bank holiday. The taxi home was €12 not bad I thought.
Visit 2 and 3 Thursday 5th October 11:00am to 7pm and midnight to 3pm
Again using the U and S I arrived at the door shortly after 11:00am so just started. I was in the mood for using the sauna and health suite after a hard couple of days so any naked girls would be a bonus. At this time of day there were around 3 girls downstairs and maybe 5 or 6 upstairs..with hardly any men atalll.
Some girls were recognised from the night before.
I spent maybe 3 hours downstairs and everyone of the girls must have sat on my lounger and asked for sex within 30secs of meeting. Nothing changed here then. I must say though that I did find this time much more erotic as the girls were arriving fresh, with more and more arriving and was told by a very sexy mature Russian in the sauna that they were just all getting up and the place could be up to 30 or so girls come 4oclock.
She also explained the fact that all girls pay the €70 entry as per men and get the free food and drink (non alcoholic) What they earn is there’s and was up to them what they did or didn’t do. -Lack of global rules to become a girl passed my mind-
She was right, there was more girls at around 3-4pm but maybe only 25 or so. Most from the night before without attitude change. Same turnover attitude. I did meet a very chattable and fanciable Turkish girl with the best face this side of an Italian miss world contestant, black hair and blue eyes, thought she could work on Rai Uno.
Had to have her especially as she had bothered to ask my name at the bar. But how could I do it again…in the room it was €60 extra to come on here face. Which I just had to do anyway and this time paid the extra. Will never forget her giggle as I glued her eyes shut. Afterwards in the taxi home at around 7:00pm again was slightly disappointed but the whole feel of the place was better than the other night. A good ratio of fresh women at stages with more women to men from around 11:00am to 4;00pm.
GT is in a different league its official
It was confirmed though now that the girls are always pushy, charge extra for everything (unless negotiated prior to the room), wouldn’t say ever loads of them but then again there was never massive amounts of men so the ratio wasn’t terrible but way off my last visit to GT. The girls looks were average, good and stunning. I did see a real minger that wouldn’t get a job down sexyland.
My 3rd visit was from midnight to 3 in the morning where the place stunk of weed, the women looked physically fucked and mentally knackered. Could just about muster the words “you want sex” the men were pissed bodies laying all over dropping beer and looking lecherous. I managed to find a average Latvian that still looked alive but must admit couldn’t finish off as beer and tiredness took its toll.
In summary
Artemis is a fantastic building and very convenient for berlin. Great layout and the pool and health area is worth going for in its self. But then that has just cost you €70. The best time to go is without doubt early opening to around 7pm where the girls are fresher and slightly more plentiful. The crowd is better at this time as not all pissed druggies.
I am afraid to say compared to my visit to GT the whole atmosphere here and management is wrong. The girls don’t seem to have any time for chat, where at times I spoke to GT girls for sometimes an hour without being hassled. They are just all about turnover, getting the job done and onto the next. Think more regular brothel than FKK sauna. Only ever saw 1 girl using the sauna and the mixed showering and changing aspect was missed. The girls were prowling constantly and on rejection they wont even look at you again to the point of pure snarling.
The upstairs “nightclub” style bar was where it all happened.
“Off goes another” where the girl would lead the man from the bar within 5 seconds of meeting him to an upstairs room and return asap .
I sort of got the feeling that the place could easily turn into a rip off joint. There was absolutely no Kino action….compared to GT where even I fucked a girl on the back bed in the kino. Nothing like this here. I thought an FKK should also be about open sex? Or it just becomes a regular brothel with naked chicks
Artemis could be a place that excelled in all aspect but needs better management to make this happen. Top girls are bragging of making €1500 euros per day here and the way they knock punters out I can well believe it. I got the feeling at GT that a girl was happy with spending 2-3 hours with a guy, CIM a prerequisite all for a standard fee of €60. Also totally un-pushy and more plentiful women at GT. At GT open sex could be seen, kino was happening and the clientel seemed much more experienced than the Artemis customer with “rip me off I am from the messe” stamped on the robe.
I would say visit the place (early doors) if you are in the city as it is probably the best Berlin has to offer but don’t expect a true fucking everywhere FKK sauna but more a large regular brothel and Artemis should be put firmly into this category.
Maybe good for an eye opener or a total novice but for more FKK experience guys this just wont do!
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