Bonjour all,

To start with the most important - and most popular topic - in this fine forum:

Gaston's food review

Sorry, only joking....

I will start before the beginning (as in 'The Lion King 2 1/2' (the only worthwile part of the series)). I left Thursday morning for Brueggen with a loaded agenda. I was, so to say, 'A Man with a Mission'. I had to do reconnaissance work for Fred and 'coach' Skip, while reviewing the frightful food situation - and in the meantime I would not mind having sex with some good-looking babes, too. Now, looking back, I have to state that the mission was only partially successful. The recon work failed miserably - but to compensate I had a really good time with the girls (well, with three of them at least ;-) and food was, well, surprising. Read on:

I left Bruxelles in the tail of the worst rush hour I can remember (Beelzebub himself couldn't have devised it better), got on the E314, had frustrating times because of Austrian truck drivers thinking the left lane was suitable for vehicles doing 95 km/hour, found more roadworks than there are actual cars on the road - you can imagine I was pretty stressed by the time I arrived in the bucolic village in NordRhein Westfalen we all know so well. The parking lot was surprisingly empty, but filled up pretty good later in the day. Once inside, the number of girls looked on the low side too, but later the day quality and quantity grew impressively. Lunch was of good standards (the fresh croissants and rolls were replenished regularly) and afterwards I hit the sauna, showers and pool to shake off my highway frustrations. Then it was time to work.

Ah, work, always a pleasure - at least in Golden Time. Walking along the corridors I found a girl near the 'kino' entrance who looked very, er, exotic. It's hard to describe her looks, as she seems quite unique, with some African and some Asian features. She always walks around topless, most of the time together with other girls, was on my 'to do -list' for some time, and today seemed the right day to start a more close relationship. She was easy to get into contact with and we talked for some time in the corridor (including some serious mutual petting, always a good sign of service) before deciding for a room. Alana, as is her artist's name, says she's from Egypt, which explains her looks. We spend some good Quality Time in one of the garden huts. She may look a bit haughtily at first sight, but is a friendly girl who delivers good service. Nothing extasic or exceptional, but definitely a good start of the day, physically.

Afterwards, the usual break for coffee, smoke and sauna, and then it was time to venture further. The female line -up had grown pretty much over time, and the situation had swapped from small choice to too much choice. Ah, a typically dialectical change in quantity that caused a change in quality - remember your Hegel and Marx ? Sorry. Anyway, in the bar area I strolled along a girl who was lying very temptingly on a sofa. Nice face, long pitch black hair, long black 'fuck me' boots - and little more. Samantha, as she introduced herself, did not mind me sitting besides her. She did not mind my arm around her. I did not mind her arm under my robe. We did not mind exchanging some kisses. A Session Was Born, so to speak. We went into a garden hut where Samantha could display her full talents. Fine it was. The boots remained on, to my enjoyment. She's a nice girl and it was a pleasure to session with her.

As it was already getting later in the afternoon, it was too late for a third session. I decided to hang out in the pool, chatting with some acquaintances and getting some fresh air outside, where Doro joined me. As it was the last half hour before dinner, she knew I would not go into a room with her, but she did not mind at all and we spend a nice half hour chatting and looking at little 'Tigerchen' playing in the garden. Bless this woman, who knows her manners.

Gaston's food review.
Now for the feature everyone waited for. And, mes amis, have I a surprise for you: the food was palatable. Actually, the food was really pretty good. 'Salzkartoffeln', boiled like they should be, with Wurst, small Turkish mincemeat sausages (sort of Kofte), a piece of nicely broiled chicken and some coleslaw on the side. It was like the caterer has merged the 'Dalmacija Grill' - and the result was most pleasing. It made me wonder whether Fred arranged something here. A light red wine on the side would have been perfect, but a beer was okay as replacement. Standing in line already was a pleasure, as I stood between Doro and (Polish) Sonja.

Bon. My trust in humanity was now definitely restored. Dinner done I rested some time and then began for my last mission of the day - not forgetting I had some work to do for Fred and Skip. I had actually made up my mind in the dinner queue, as (Polish) Sonja was very tempting in her 'trashy blonde' -look, but Sonja had an appointment and disappeared and would not return but with another man on her side. Oh, these women, their'e all the same.... I had a small chat with Daria, but she was booked, too (this should not become a trend, grrr), and thus did some actual 'ijsberen' through the corridors when I suddenly, in about the darkest part of the whole building, bounced into a girl.

She did not move an inch - I did not move either.

She looked me straight into my eyes - boy, had she big eyes.

This girl was not lacking in confidence, which was definitely a pro. But I stood really literally in the dark, and all I could see was a pretty face with long reddish hair. Should I take the gamble and propose her ? Why the heck not, and so I met Jessica. Jessica's further, er, features could stand full daylight effortlessly. She was a tall and slim German redhead (coulour fake, though), small but nice natural breasts, with a really nice face. We went into a garden cabin where we hit off. Sweet kisses and a good oral technique were certainly a good start. Then she rolled on her back, spread her long legs and stated: 'Isn't it about time you did something for me ?'. Oh yeeees. With pleasure. I spend the next time servicing her orally, which was quite pleasing for the both of us (though literally more satisfying for her ;-). Afterwards we continued with some classical positions and all was utmost pleasant. The way she looked was particularly nice, really concentrated and smiling at the same time. And then, inevitably, I asked the famous question: 'And how long have you been working here ?'

'Well, about a month.' she replied cheerfully. 'But I did a short while about a year ago'.

A first -timer. O no, not again.... I had visions of my encounter with my Jamie Curtis -lookalike in my mind - and my severe depression afterwards. But this was definitely different. Jessica was all smiles and radiated good vibrations. We started off chatting and she was surprisingly open (maybe these girls talk too much, really) and we spend some happy time exchanging info. This is a girl who - again forced by the ridiculously low wages of starters in Germany - has decided to side-track into the service industry, but I have no doubt she will succeed with flying colours. Recommended.

Oops.
Report to the Coach. Report to Fred :
I have seen one (1) blonde with a shoelace bikini-bottom, which might well fit the description of Katrina. She was good-looking and obviously popular, as I had no chance to see her again. I have not seen - well, I have not identified any Latvian ink-enhanced teeny gymnast, but then again, it was getting pretty crowded. No Russian Melissa, of which I'm pretty sure (unless someone kept her in a room for hours, which is not totally impossible). No 'Italian' Francesca. No Davide. Sorry to have to do this reporting, but I enjoyed my time nevertheless, hi hi hi.

And so I drove back westwards in a very cheerful mood. A good ambiance, three fine sessions, good food - what more can a Belgian ask for ? Well, a prompt return trip, maybe, but that will have to wait for, well, three weeks or so. Mmm, not that bad, really.

Gaston.

“Gaston's food review.. Sorry, only joking.…”

Coach, can you instill some work ethics into Grasshopper’s mind set. Inspection is no laughing matter! Ha Ha... Maybe I should tell you about the food here on a separate report.

“I would not mind having sex with some good-looking babes, too.”

I wish I could say the same thing here. There are no shortage of young and hot chics here in Atlantis, Paradise Island. But they are not looking for sponsorship. There are plenty of ladies at the Dragon Bar looking for dancing partners in the evening. Some of them would love to take the matter from the dance floor to your room or hers. I cannot lower my requirements though.

“I have seen one (1) blonde with a shoelace bikini-bottom, which might well fit the description of Katrina. She was good-looking and obviously popular, as I had no chance to see her again.”

Yes, when I first saw this Finnish blonde, she was naked and wet in the shower right next to me. Then she slowly put on her string bikini bottom in Paris Hilton pink…..

Thanks very much for the prompt update, Gaston!

Regards from Nassau, Bahamas
Fred in exile

P.S. Coach Skip, the motivational material is so huge that it would not go through the PM system. You can ask Gaston to forward that to you if you feel more comfortable.

Fred,

“Regards from Nassau, Bahamas”

What happened? Plane have to make an emergency landing?? The compass get crazy while flying over the Bermuda Triangle? ...Bahamas?

I have previously explained the difficulties in attempting to keep the Grasshopper focused. Mon dieu… You have to understand the psyche of the person whom you coach. The first thing that I learned on observing the ijsberen is that while the sex might be unbelievable, they are most certainly not going to pass up a meal over it. Grasshopper is merely a product of his environment.

A case in point; this winter I held a plate of food for wim for about 45 minutes waiting for him to return (which occurred about two hours later) because I didn’t want him to miss dinner. wim was amazed at my loyalty, but more amazed that I didn’t give up on him and eat the food.

A second case in point; I have observed that Grasshopper always manages to eat even the worst of meals.

So, while you or I would probably, on arrival, have set about our assigned task of reconaissance for our buddy, Gaston was happily munching away on a croissant and contemplating his trip to the sauna. Thus, while we might place a greater value on inspections, Grasshopper is hardwired to focus first on food. Alas, I doubt that I will ever be able to coach that out of him.

Don’t get sunburned…

Cheers,

Coach S.

Bon jour Gaston,

“…and then began for my last mission of the day - not forgetting I had some work to do for Fred and Skip”

So you failed again! Sounds like you forgot your assignment until the last minute too. All that coaching and preparation wasted… Sacre bleu, mon ami!! No more weekend's off for you while in training.

I thought that after my arduous coaching job to get you past your hot tub issues earlier this year you had reached a new level. Failure breeds failure, Grasshopper. How come I can gather information from 6,000 Km away and you can’t do better from 200 Km? I suppose you will try and convince me that all the blood drained from your reconnaissance head and the head where it ended up could only see with one eye!

Well, you must have had quite a time...or taken leave of your senses. The food was good? Are you quite sure that you are prepared to make such a bold statement? You are aware that the GT management probably reads your commentary and your quote will appear on their website now.

It is good to see that you have conquered the “innocence” issues you have been struggling with. At least that is progress. Blowing off Doro seems a little harsh. The lady has to make a living too. (taking into consideration your recent rants about the German payscale...) The black boots thing…first ink and iron and now leather, where will it all stop, man? What of the Gypsy Princess?

Great essay, glad you had a good time (for a change). We’ll work on the reconnaissance issues in a fortnight +7.

Au revoir,

Skip

"" A case in point; this winter I held a plate of food for wim for about 45 minutes waiting for him to return (which occurred about two hours later) because I didn’t want him to miss dinner. wim was amazed at my loyalty, but more amazed that I didn’t give up on him and eat the food. ""

yeah, it was a Dutch stew , 'boerenkool met worst' , like 'peasentstew with wuerstli' , I actually was four hours out Skip (sorry , 'coach') , my maximum so far , I'm afraid her boyfrriend in Romania keeps her busy now, let's see. But I'll never forget your loyalty ... !

Glad you're enjoying with the Grasshopper and Fred , I mean , some matured relativism is always welcome in this board, 'the foot on the ground' so to say, sometimes I need some breath ....

AMF

Wim

Wim,

I’m certainly impressed and flattered that a gentleman of your stature would join our banter.

I gotta tell you, it’s really taxing trying to coach the Grasshopper especially with Fred continually confusing him with all of the other offerings that might or might not be available when he arrives at the pitch. (I’m not even sure if Fred isn’t making some of them up to taunt my protigee, who is somewhat easily led astray. Are they REALLY that good?) Just kidding as I’m sure all of it is beyond my simple comprehension.

Well, there is life beyond the Amsterdam board. At least our conversation rises above who put what where and whether she took her top off…

Perhaps it’s better that your friend stayed in Romania. Gives you more opportunity to share yourself with other deserving ladies. Be well!

TZMF,

Skijp

Skip,

I DID look for you, but your current favourite is small and it's dark over there in Brueggen....
Now don't grumble, I did look, did report - can I help the food was good this time ?

Indeed, there's always a next time....

cheers,

Gaston.

“Nice face, long pitch black hair, long black 'fuck me' boots - and little more. Samantha, as she introduced herself”

Hello Gaston,

I finally have the luxury to read your fine reports word for word. Is this Samantha from Koln? How tall is she? About 165 cm? When I first met Samantha with dark blonde hair earlier this year, she was in a lime green bikini and long black boots with very soft leather.

Do you see a voluptuous babe with long black curly hair, wearing a pair of librarian glasses? She’s a project with unrefined skills. However, she has some natural talents who can use a helping hand…. That’s Chanel from Tunisia who is no longer a teenager.

Sonja from Poland, about 30, is an experienced pro who spends a bit too much time in the solarium. She delivers a standard or average experience without much to write home about. Sounded like you strike gold with Jessica.

“Well, a prompt return trip, maybe, but that will have to wait for, well, three weeks or so. Mmm, not that bad, really.”

Huh?! We have to wait three weeks to hear the update on Katarina, Melissa and ….. Coach Skip, can you do something about that? Ha Ha… Should we start a rumor that Wim’s hot angel Miss A from Romania is back at GT?! Let me bombard him with emails and messages that his favorite Palace goddess has left Palace for GT again….. Davide, are you next?

Regards,
Fred

P.S. I am glad that the food at GT has improved. I wish the mentality of the hungry people at GT would change some days - lining up 10 minutes before feeding time and occasional cutting in lines by some of the aggressive girls are simply disgraceful.

Hello Coach Skip,

"What happened? Plane have to make an emergency landing?? The compass get crazy while flying over the Bermuda Triangle? ...Bahamas?"

Well, I am here on a top secret mission to meet with the Foreign Ministry of Commerce from Nigeria... Also, I have a private agenda to follow the tail of a foxy lady...

Now, let's move on to more in-depth post game analysis. Shall we?

- "I have previously explained the difficulties in attempting to keep the Grasshopper focused."

That was my initial assessment as well. However, when you are on the field, your hormones may take over. We have to incorporate in the training program. You should give credits to Grasshopper for being flexible and going with the flow - accept the fact that the Finnish blonde is hard to catch (but she's a great catch if you have that honor).

- "while we might place a greater value on inspections, Grasshopper is hardwired to focus first on food."

As I explained, I finished the first round with Russian Melissa and Yooroo bumped into us. Then I left the spot next to Melissa (having her dinner) open for him. He was like a girl, "oh, I don't know... Maybe... I need to get cleaned up...." Luckily for him, the Russian thought the introduction was an appointment when she's done with the dinner.

Regardless, Gaston suffered the least about Russian Melissa compared to the members of the Russian Melissa Appreciation Society. We just hope that she's not a one-time phenomenon like Lisa from Tunisia (at World between November and December 2005).

- "Don’t get sunburned…"

Actually, I have been spending more time dancing than swimming in the Paradise Lagoon. Too much Pina Colada and Bahamas MaMa can impair your depth perception of the ocean floor....

Best Regards,
Fred

P.S. "I suppose you will try and convince me that all the blood drained from your reconnaissance head and the head where it ended up could only see with one eye!" - Bravo! This statement is like an instant classic.

'Davide, are you next?'

Wish the answer was 'yes', Fred...but things have been pretty hectic over here lately, and I can't make plans right now. But then, after reading Gaston's excellent report and his reflections about the improved catering situation, I'm considering that wine-n-dine option again and again.....

Enjoy the sun, the sea, the ladies

D.

Fred, friend, pal, chum, mate,

No, 'my' Samantha has worked in 'Amnesia' and comes a little to the east of there - go guess for yourself. Besides, her black hair seems convincingly real, I can't imagine her blond. I did see Chanel, we even talked for some minutes , but I declined her services. She looked too amateur for me. Sonja was just perfectly slutty - I just loved her looks. But indeed, Jessica was a find.

regards,

Gaston. (just had early dinner - heavily on Italian wine - Montepulciano - hi Davide !)

Hi davide,

It’s pretty hectic over here as well. Are you considering bringing your bottle of wine into GT? Check your PM.....

Hello Gaston,

Thank you so much for the confirmation that ‘your’ Samantha and ‘my’ Samantha are different girls. Just 7 days ago, one girl at World said “no” to me when I suggested fucking in the bathroom. As all rooms were taken, we found the exercise room open and I asked her to sit on the exercise bike. No pedaling please….

“She looked too amateur for me.” - Coach Skip, give credits to Grasshopper for good assessment. Like I said, “She’s a project with unrefined skills.” I am very drawn to her exotic look from day 1. She opens up quite slowly compared to other pros.

“Sonja was just perfectly slutty - I just loved her looks.” Yes, no complaint whatsoever about Sonja’s services as an experienced and older FKK girl. But I sometimes enjoy more on developing young talents and experience the natural progression.

OK, it’s lunch time for me.

Ciao,
Fred

Fred,

Excellent analysis, however I sense you might become an apologist for the Grasshopper. I am attempting coaching him to overcome or at least have some slight modicum of control over his hormones. It’s still early in the process so I continue to have faith that he has potential. There is little question regarding his flexibility in adapting to an ever changing landscape but I am concerned about his focus and vision. It is a true challenge to get him to stop looking with just the one eye…

I think that with the Russian Melissa he did admit to not eating much (and didn’t complain about the food) but evidently he too lost his nerve, as he sat directly across from her, so she must render men speechless. This may have been the first instance ever and certainly the first that I can recall that an Ijsbeer lost his appetite over a damsel, during a meal, at least. Anyway, this was before I took on the coaching assignment so I am not responsible.


- "while we might place a greater value on inspections, Grasshopper is hardwired to focus first on food."

Since you picked up on the quote above and tried to apologize for him, consider the ending of Grasshopper’s last reply:
“regards,

Gaston. (just had early dinner - heavily on Italian wine…)”

I rest my case both about his being hardwired to food and my assertion that it’s hard to get any training out of him on a weekend…

Don’t drink and dive, mate. Will we soon see you featured on “Dancing with the Stars”?

Ciao,

Coach Skijp

Coach,

Aren't you a litle unthankfull ?
- I did my best checking for your and Fred's babes.
- I gave reports on 3 not yet documented ladies.
- I reviewed the food thoroughly. It was good, I rather have that than to report negative.
- I drank some Italian wine to wash away a mediocre pizza yesterday.
- i get back in 3 weeks and continue where I stopped.
I honestly can't see what I have done wrong.

regards,

Gaston.

Gaston,

Goodness no, I certainly am not being ungrateful for your thorough reporting. What you say (and report) is indeed true, enhanced mightily by your colorful prose. Could you, perhaps, be a little sensitive about my constructive criticism, Grasshopper? Look at my example of accepting your occasional taunts and barbs and not responding. Coaching is a lonely job, mon ami. By virtue of coaching you I am trying to elevate your game which is already at a very high level, so to speak. My game, on the other hand, has been non existent for 9 months :-(

You know the old adage; “coaches coach because they can’t play any more”. Damn, that sounds really sad, I probably shouldn’t have brought it up. Now I am bummed out and can’t finish my post which would have been very witty and clever…

Sadly, au revoir

Coach
(and global politician)

Coach Skip,

“so she must render men speechless”
I cannot speak for anyone else. When I first saw Russian Melissa and Finnish Katarina, Freddy and I sync up very quickly and we were both in serious inspection mode.

“Don’t drink and dive, mate. Will we soon see you featured on “Dancing with the Stars”?”
No, sir. Everywhere in the Island is within walking distance. If you are too lazy to walk, you can have the attendant to drive you around in a golf cart for one buck. Perhaps you may say “don’t mix up the Paradise Lagoon with your water bed.”

As to dancing, I need to check with my dancing instructor - Katarina from Hungary at FKK World. Goodness, 6 dances before, and 3 more dances after our horizontal forbidden dance…. Or would you rather see Freddy’s Dancing with the Star [Fish of a great catch named Wanda]?

Gaston and Davide, you ladies’ men:

May I clarify your intentions of bringing wine to GT? Are you trying to create an unfair competitive edge against your fellow inspectors??

Seriously, is this allowed at GT? At the big three Frankfurt clubs or even PHG, we ‘can’ bring in liquors very discreetly to please those girls who live there during their four or five consecutive work days. They love the Candy Man, the Ice Cream Man and especially the Vodka Man (I am none of the above). I have seen someone gargling liquors out of a Listerine mouthwash bottle, smile in front of the closed circuit camera before swallowing the ‘mouthwash’ to his stomach…. [OK, honey, you may split now. Yeah right?!]

Best Regards,
Fred

Coach,
It's o.k. All is forgiven. I appreciate your, er, constructive coaching. I understand your hardship. Get up your act - only 3 months left before you can indulge in a universe of carnal exitement. I hope we meet when you will be flying in. I will introduce you to all my (female) friends. I'll get you a croissant. I'll buy you a beer. In the meantime I do my best reporting - however tantalising it sometimes may be for your poor yearning soul.

Fred,
Of course we try to get a leading edge.... In the floating world, all is allowed to conquer Russian darlings, German students, Hungarian secretaries, Rumanian farmers' daughters, you name it. But the original reason was more down to earth, really. When visiting GT in the early days, I once remarked that the Sauerkraut (yes, already then) would taste nicer with a good wine besides - a decent Riesling, say. (NOT a German one then, but Alsation) I inquired with some girls and at the bar whether this was an option. I got a very clear answer from GT Management : no wine would be served, as they feared the girls would drink too much and consequently would perform worse service (they reckoned the ladies would not drink too much beer). The 'bring your own' -option was (grudgingly) allowed orally, at least then, as long as would not be done very openly. But since I have to drive two hours back I never bothered to actually bring a bottle.

cheers (so appropriate),

Gaston.

(apologies to the native Germans and wine lovers : Germany DOES produce good Rieslings, but they are rare and rather too expensiove to take to a youknowwhat) (sorry Skip, you knew where this debate would lead to, wouldn't you ?)

Hello Gaston,

"I understand your hardship. Get up your act - only 3 months left before you can indulge in a universe of carnal exitement."

Yes, it's hard indeed. When would that be? Shall we have a boot camp for Coach? Let see if he can focus when bombarded with weapons of mass distraction! I want to see!! Please send me an invitation.

"they feared the girls would drink too much and consequently would perform worse service"

That's a good policy. Some girls just don't know when to stop. Back in early August 2005 at World, a superb pole dancer and bedroom angel had too much whiskey and she get on stage late night / early morning, climbing all the way to the top with ease and sliding down head first with full speed. Luckily, only her hair clipper was broken on the impact. Her head and her neck was OK. She even giggled at me when she get off the stage, "I was sooo drunk...."

"The 'bring your own' -option was (grudgingly) allowed orally, at least then, as long as would not be done very openly."

Yes, that's my understanding. Thank you!

Cheers to your competitive edge,
Fred

Fred and Grasshopper,

“…you can have the attendant to drive you around in a golf cart for one buck.”

Geez, dude, the last of the big tippers, huh? Beats the hell out of a strippenkaart, though!

Coach in boot camp, universe of carnal excitement and weapons of Mass Distraction? Sounds like my kind of camping experience, tough to endure but fair, sort of mano e’ (wo)mano so to speak. Sign me up for the hot tub immersion qualification course also. If it doesn’t kill me it will make me stronger, Right? But my concern is that if GT is as dark as Grasshopper purports, how will I recognize anyone? Other than big eyes, that is. Now I have to start looking at eyes? And all this time and I’ve been doing it so, so wrong. To quote Grasshopper, ZUT! Maybe I could bring a flashlight?

Since my pre-conceived notions of this sauna-club experience are evidently all wrong, what kind of pole do these ladies dance on? It sounds like they use a real pole? ZUT squared!! I was hoping all along that it was the ole’ todger. And these “Fuck Me Boots” Grasshopper mentions, where can I get a pair? Sounds like a prudent investment.

If I let you fellows know when I plan to arrive, all the hot chicks will probably be sent on vacation and McDonald’s will be the new caterer. (which would be fine with me but certainly Grasshopper’s worst nightmare)

OK, enough of the small talk. Fred, go find Romy. Grasshopper, go find Katja (Letse) and you are correct, I knew where your post would end. I will admit, though, that I never considered what wine would be most appropriate with…sauerkraut.

Happy tails,

Coach

Coach,

You're getting too exited again - aren't you ?
The facts : there is no pole @ GT, so no pole dancing in Brueggen. Can't remember one in PHG either. There is assorted dancing in the bar room sometimes, though. The rest is up to your fancy in the rooms.
Then : I was talking about my encounter with Jessica, which was really in the darkest part of the GT corridors in the evening. I'll show you the exact venue when you're in. While the rest is better lighted, do not expect too much. The bar room has daylight, but don't we all agree the ladies look just better in some moody environments ? Okay, jumping on the beds in the 'Kino' may be a blind date sometimes....
Last : you're not gonna wear ladies boots, are you Skip ? Please ??

cheers

Gaston.

... and do never ever mention McD again - I just had breakfast and now gonna throw up ...