I swear the research and the planning for the trip for me is the best part in this day and age. I love it. Especially this site. That being said has anyone been to see the 5D porn cinema that just opened? What was it like? Sounds like you get squirted on and all kinds of air blasts and chairs move?! This true?!

I've been. 5D Porn is not a porn cinema; it is more like an amusement park attraction that happens to be themed around porn. It's meant to be silly and amusing rather than erotic. So be sure to keep your expectations in check if you decide to visit.

The short six-minute movie is not a typical porn video; it features scenes from around Amsterdam including canals, streets, the red light district, a strip club (?) and a few other things. The show starts with something of a story involving a man being chased around Amsterdam by a sexy police woman for exposing himself on a boat. Later on, the narrative becomes a bit disjointed and nonsensical, as it turns into little more than an excuse to show various very short scenes catering to different fetishes. Of course, this involves full nudity and sex.

The "5D" part is delivered in several ways: First, there are the stereoscopic glasses, which don't really work well for me, so I can't say much about their effect except that occasionally certain things appeared to get very close. The next obvious thing is the moving and tilting seats, which should be familiar to anyone who's been on any amusement park simulator ride. For the most part, the motion seems to only be there for the sake of it; there are only two or three very short scenes in which the motion actually seems to correspond to on-screen events. Throughout the rest of the movie, the motion just felt random and exaggerated, and the loud noise of the motors driving the seats is pretty distracting.

Other effects that contribute to the "5D" aspect include bubbles, blasts of air, leg ticklers under the seats (the same ones that are often used in horror experiences to simulate spiders crawling around your legs, but in this case they're used in the scenes involving whips), and yes, water blasts, the most notable of which is used at the end as you might expect during an ejaculation scene.

So is 5DPorn's six minute attraction worth €12.50? It's unique and I don't regret going, but I probably wouldn't recommend it unless you're just looking for a quick laugh for a few euros, and you should set your expectations appropriately. I think most people are likely to walk away from 5D Porn with the feeling that they've wasted their money.

That sounds terrible. Lol. Thank you for your time!

Has Greenhoff finally got his wish... ;-)

Sadly not yet retro !!!
i still long to do something bad in Amsterdam, [ well not that bad] but enough for two female polities to cuff me, lead me away to an interogation, , do an intimate body search on me.
I would refuse to answer all their questions, then they would use torture on me.................!! eg whips/strapons etc lol

I think all Dutch female polities are absolutely stunning, but as my luck is pretty crap these days, id more than likely to get two male polities.

regards

You might still get something shoved up your arris, at least haha

:'D

Just seen this post and retro beat me to the punch. I pictured the action set to music in fast motion over all the wallen bridges with greeny as Benny Hill.