My original plan in February of this year was a mongering trip to Costa Rica. I had purchased Southwest tickets from New Orleans to Orlando, then Jetblue to San Jose. I changed my mind in December, 2011 and went to Germany in February which left me with the Southwest tickets. After reading some of Smuler's old reports of Tijuana, I paid about $10 difference and switched my plane tickets to San Diego.

I flew out after work on Thursday, May 3 connecting through Denver and landing in San Diego around 11:30pm pacific time, grabbed my Avis rental Chrysler 200, and headed south toward my hotel. I stopped for In n Out takeout expecting the best fast food I've ever eaten. To be honest, I wasn't that impressed. Partially because the food was stone cold because the hotel (Best Western South Bay Inn in Chula Vista) had canceled my reservation. The clerk was working through the night window since it was after 11pm and he charged me for two rooms at a higher rate than I had reserved. Thankfully he was able to immediately refund one of the charges but wouldn't honor the cheaper rate. Anyway, I tried not to let the setback ruin the night and hit the sack with high hopes for Friday.

May 4

Before heading out, I had researched a lot of the local craft beer brewing locations and had listed several that I wanted to visit (thanks again Smuler). I hadn't realized that The Craft Brewers Conference was in town this same weekend so most places were filled with brewers who wore plastic identification tags around their necks and ordered the most obscure beer choices.

I plugged in directions to Toronado's, 4026 30th St and sat at the bar. There was a couple next to me that ordered a liter bottle of 2009 Cable Car for $75. All the staff came out and crowded around letting out a big "ahh" sound when the cork was popped. The staff then tried to get someone to buy a bottle of Toronado's own first batch brew for $250 a bottle but had no takers.

My order:
2-Russian River Pliny the Elder
1-Russian River Blind Pig IPA
& "Berkel" breakfast sandwich (ciabatta bun, 2 fried eggs, 2 bacon slices, and 6oz hamburger patty).

After eating lunch, I headed back to Chula Vista to catch the trolley. I stuck a few $5's and $1's in my pant's pocket and stuck $200 bucks in my shoe for safekeeping. I purchased my 3 day ticket for $12 and rode to the border station at San Ysidro.

After exiting the trolley, I crossed the bridge and walked through the turnstiles into Mexico. No border patrol, dogs, cops, nothing but me and about 200 locals crossing into Tijuana. Being my first time, I decided to take a taxi and negotiated $5 for the short ride to the Hong Kong Gentleman's Club. The driver stopped at the end of the block, pointed in the direction of the club, and let me out.

I was immediately confronted with the smells of outdoor cooking, the hustle of doormen trying to get me into each club, and 20-30 streetwalkers all trying to proposition for some time in one of the cheap rooms for a few minutes. I found the door to Hong Kong and walked through the thick red curtains.

Imagine an 2-story American strip club, with a Spanish DJ asking for applause between songs and you have a good idea of the surroundings. One difference is several older ladies who walk around asking (by thrusting boxes lit by a flashlight in your face) if you would like to buy gum, nuts, or chips. The other big difference is that for a $1, you can grab ass, feel tits, or rub down the dancer who is on stage. There were usually 5-6 dancers spread on stages at one time.

The bartenders only speak to the waiters and each waiter has a number around his neck to help you identify them. The waiters will get your drinks and then offer to go and grab one of the girls for company if you are interested. The beer choices are limited to Tecate, Bohemia, Corona, Coors Light, XX, and Sol. I hated to kill my palate after such good beers at lunch so stuck with the "powerful" elixir, 4.6% alcohol Sol (figured it was close to water and I was right). My waiter was No. 52 and he brought the $4+$1 tip beer and a plastic cup of limes.

After an hour or so, a girl came over and offered her company. I had declined several waiters offers of help in choosing a girl and would point at the soccer game on TV when asked what my interests was. Katy was the girl's name and she was from Mexico City. She was here with a friend for a couple of weeks and would be going back for school after the two weeks were up. The waiter came over and asked if I would buy her a drink. I said yes and he brought over some red liquid for $8 + $1 tip which tasted like Cherry Coke to me.

We moved to a booth and got to know each other on a personal level, her English was excellent. I was really surprised when she made the move to kiss as I was just expecting a negotiation and quality akin to a kamer vs an FKK. That sealed the deal and asked if we could go next door to the hotel (Hotel Casades is next to the Hong Kong and rooms are rented for the half hour for $15). She offered $100 for the 30 minutes, I countered with an $80 offer and she said fine. We walk to go out and the door man grabs a thin cotton cover-up for her to wear as we walk next door to the hotel (for $1 tip to doorman).

I pay the front desk guy $15 and he provides a condom and gives her the room number in Spanish. We close the door and she offers if I would like to shower. I take the $80 out and place by her purse but she doesn't count it. We both clean up and start making out. Then move over to the bed with CBJ, then DATY, then missionary to finish. We take another quick shower and then get the knock on the door letting us know our 30 minutes is almost up. While dressing, she jokingly asks if I would like a Mexican girlfriend. I escort her back down the street to the club and she disappears.

I sat around drinking more Sol and noticed another girl dancing on stage. She looked like a Hispanic Piper Perabo. She moved to 3 different stages and seemed really bored so I was sensing a challenge. I should listen to that inner voice but was intrigued. On a pass to the toilet, I stopped and tipped $1 but didn't stick around. She didn't come look for me after the dance so I sat where I could watch and noticed she took a seat at a booth alone and had a cigarette and beer.

I moved behind her and found out her name was Jessy. She also ordered an $8 drink and I joked that she looked bored while dancing. He English wasn't as strong so I spent a lot of time with hand gestures and smiles. We negotiated $70 for 30 minutes and went next door.

She made the commented on my penis size as perfect "not too big or too small". I just shrugged my shoulders and said it wasn't my doing. I took the $70 out but she took it and balled it up into her purse without counting. I wasn't told not to kiss but could tell she wasn't that interested so I stopped. We started in cowgirl, then spoon, and moved to missionary. I kept getting close but just couldn't cross the finish line. I called a stop and she asked what was wrong, too many beers? No, I suppose it was the door knock in the back of the head I said. I told her that I would be in town for the next few days and would be back to redeem myself.

I escorted her back to the club and decided it was time to head back to the border. Now after 2 sessions, hotel fees, tips, and beers I had used up my cash (which was the plan since I wouldn't have to feel guilty declining the streetwalkers and kids looking for donations). No problem, I remember the way to walk back, or so I thought. I took off down the block and took a right, then a left after a few blocks. I got down to a highway and noticed a fence and thought it was the border and walked along it. I now realize it was the airport and I was walking even farther away from the border.

I couldn't seem to get my bearings. I would look up on the hillsides and see nice houses and think that was the border but just kept going farther and farther into Mexico. No more streetwalkers or even convenience stores were visible anymore. I was in neighborhoods and stood out like the last gringo in this part of town was decades ago. Nobody bothered me and I didn't put out distressed looks but hopefully portrayed as sense of belonging. I kept thinking, just walk with purpose

My next thought was to follow California license plates. That led me in circles. Then I tried following taxi cabs thinking they would head back to the border for the big dollar fares. Nope, still in circles. Finally after 2 1/2 hours of walking in circles, I found a local motel and he had a map on his counter top. I asked him to point of the direction of the border and he said I was loco to be in his neighborhood. I then told him I had been over by this huge Mexican flag that is visible from the US side of the border and he just shook his head even more saying that was about 3-4 km's away and if I had walked the whole way, I really was loco.

I finally found my way to the gate to cross back over and after a half hour wait in line and interrogation by our "wonderful" Border Patrol, I stepped back into America at 8:30pm. I hopped on the trolley a wiser and grateful man, grabbed some Carl Jr's on the way to the hotel, and closed the door to the hotel room and my interesting first day at 9:47pm.

May 5

Friday night I stayed at the Best Western Chula Vista Inn on Broadway. It was a nicer step up from the previous evening but after breakfast, I tried to take a shower and the leaver wouldn't work. I tried twisting, turning, pulling, pushing, no luck. As it was close to check out time, I through a towel on the floor and did the sink wash. If it's good enough for working girls in kamers, it's good enough for me.

As I had eaten a big breakfast at the hotel, I just wanted to drink some good beers. So the GPS and I set out for Blind Lady Ale House, 3416 Adams Ave. This place was also overran by people in town for the Craft Beer Conference.

My order:
1-Alesmith Speedway Stout which was served with a piece of dark chocolate
1-Pizza Port State Beach Blonde
1-Automatic Will Powered Ale which is their house brew hand pumped from a cask
1-La Trappe Quadruppel (just to remind me of Europe)
Also an order of Belgium Frites on the side.
Total damage was $28.93

I went back to the trolley parking in Chula Vista and hopped on for another trip to the border. I was walking with this horrible limp as a huge blister had developed on my right foot but I was here to monger and a little discomfort was not going to stop my trek. Only took $110 this time and stuck it in the little change pocket that most pairs of jeans have. I had also checked the ISG map and printed some directions on the hotel map I had attained yesterday and was more confident that I could save the taxi fare again.

I limped my way to the Zona and noticed that there weren't any festivities celebrating the 5th but there did seem to be way more kids and women begging. The second bridge across the stinky creek had about 10 women all sitting asking for money for Chicklets. (Speaking of which, I hardly ever see Chicklets for sale here but I saw them EVERYWHERE in Tijuana!). Once there, I decided to check out a few of the other places and walked the block.

I walked into Adelita's and saw and older American dancing on stage with a fully dressed seniorita. I would've thought I was in a dance hall if not for the several scantily clad women lounging who would try to grab your junk when you passed. Also the waiters were all dressed as cowboys with tassled chaps so I made one loop around and left. The Tropical Bar had green, red, and white balloons across the doorway but had a line so I skipped it also.

Made my way back to Hong Kong and sat in this small booth across from the DJ. It was perfect for sight seeing. You could look on both the front and back stages, check all the girls walking to the dressing room on the 3rd floor, not get accosted by the Chicklets and nuts ladies but still see the waiter whenever a beer was needed. Unfortunately, after my first Sol, one of the waiters mentioned the word beautiful, pointed to a girl, and ran off to get her even though I said no. So I jumped up and took off, walking around the block for 10-15 minutes. Ducked back in Adelita's but this time no one was on stage. I used their toilet and headed back into the street to check out the working girls. There were some interesting ones but preferred those inside the clubs even though they were more expensive.

Once back in Hong Kong, I sat upstairs in front of booths that can be rented like champagne rooms for a length of time. I didn't check prices and only saw them used once or twice. My waiter, No. 52 saw me and brought me a fresh Sol, then another, then a third. I didn't see either of the girls from the day before and just wasn't feeling lucky. I kept telling myself to leave but after all the limping, I have convinced myself to make it worthwhile.

At this time, two girls got on the front stage and started a shaving cream dance. The covered themselves and the stage and would pour water to help them slide from end to end. Guys would take $1 and stick to the bodies, tits, ass, whenever and they would stick. Then the girl would peel it off and drop it in the shaving cream/water bucket. Man, does American currency ever get the shaft!

Just then, a girl sat down behind me. I twisted and thought it was Jessy. She was wearing a white bikini with green and red stripes and the word Juicy printed on her ass. She was looking fine! The waiter asked I wanted to purchase her a drink and when he returned, I realized it was Katy (whenever a guy buys a drink, the waiter places a receipt with the girls name written on it on the table). Thankfully I hadn't said anything stupid to that point. She told me that she thought I was joking that I would be back again and that she would work the rest of the week from 2-10pm. We started making out again and I quickly asked to go next door. The session was exactly the same but more intimate if that's possible. Once again I paid before the session and she never checked or counted even when we got ready to leave. She started to shower and I realized I hadn't saved any dollars to tip the guy who cleans up the room when you finish. I snuck over and grabbed $1 and stuck it in my pocket then hopped in the shower hoping she didn't notice. When we left, the guy stood there waiting on the tip and I couldn't find it. I also couldn't ask her where was the dollar I took back but after taking all my belongings out, found it in my back pocket. Whoops!

After walking her back to the club, I left and headed out taking a right at the end of the block. I limped along for 4-5 blocks and realized, I did it again, wrong direction. Only about 10 minutes extra walking this time so I made it back to the border 6pm. This time, no line at all. Got through interrogation in 5 minutes and on the trolley in no time. Hopped in the car and headed to La Jolla where I was spending the night in a Courtyard by Marriott, McDonalds drive through was dinner (yes I ate crap most of this trip!).

May 6

I woke up and checked the map for local places to have some nice Sunday brews. Punched in directions and headed to O'Briens, 4646 Convoy St. #117. This was more of a local feel in a strip mall with lots of Asian fusion food places. Lots of first names and joking between the barmaid and patrons.

My order:
1-Alesmith Nautical Nut Brown Ale
1-Firestone Union Jack
1-Green River West Coast IPA
Plus a Beer Cheese Burger and an order of beer batter onion rings
Total cost $25.37

Instead of heading all the way south to find parking for the trolley, I grabbed my last $110 cash, decided to stay north, and caught the trolley at Grantville. It's a nice area with a new high rise station but about 1 1/2 hours (on Sunday) after connections and stops from Mexico. I finally get down to the border at 3:30pm. Today had the parties like I was expecting on the 5th. People dressed like gauchos playing music in the streets, wall to wall vendors with food, kids running around and dancing. A real party feeling. I was now confident in the walk and remember to just look for the big arch which makes for a short 5 minute walk from the border to the Zona.

I entered Hong Kong and sat at the first swivel chair on the left at the bar. No. 52 brought my first Sol and was popping the top when I looked up and saw Katy and Jessy both walking towards me. Katy got there first and gave me a big hug. Jessy side stepped like she was going to the stage but gave me this look like you cheating bastard. Katy asked if I would wait while she went and ate but kept putting off going even though I kept asking. "Do you want to eat?", "no, in a minute", "what about now?", "no, later." Finally I just said, lets go next door.

She was game and we headed over. Once more, as the two previous times, she didn't count any money and just put in her purse. This time we were relaxed, knew each others moves, and it was truly GFE. After wards, while still laying on top of her, we discussed my leaving and how much longer she was working in Tijuana. It was truly nice and not expected. I suppose I was thinking it was going to be more business like and a meat market, process the man, and move on to the next one. There is always the time constraint of the door knock but in those 30 minutes, it was nice, especially with Katy. I said my goodbyes on the street, gave one last kiss, and walked back to the US of A.

The line was outrageous to cross back over. There must have been 5000 people waiting in line. It stretched all the way down the block, back around, and underneath a highway bridge. I left the Zona around 4:45pm; I got to the rental car at 9:40pm. 5 hours for Border Patrol and trolley stops and scheduling. Ridiculous!!!!!!

That night, I stayed at the Best Western Island Palms Hotel and Marina, by far one of the nicest Best Western properties I've ever slept at. This was a free night reward due to my 3 nights stayed in Germany in February. My room faced the marina and the front of the hotel faced San Diego harbor. Just beautiful. Oh and dinner was Jack in Box take out (like I said, crap).

May 7

Woke up yesterday morning, filled the car up with fuel, and headed to the airport. I had only driven 135 miles over the five days due to the trolley and close proximity of all the places I visited. Each day was like a Chamber of Commerce advert, sunny and cool. Caught my Southwest flight to Nashville and connected into New Orleans last night at 8:45pm during one hell of a thunderstorm.

When reviewing my records today, the costs were:
$311 Plane tickets
$112 Car rental
$500 Cash for mongering
$130 Courtyard
$80 BW Chula 2nd night
$70 BW Chula 1st night

And then food and beer money. About 1/3 of my costs for the last trip to Germany (4 1/2 days vs 7 days). The proximity makes it a worthwhile mongering destination and one that I hope to visit again soon.

Thanks
Willred

Willred, great report, thanks for posting it! Was a very interesting read for me.

Well, now you got me reminiscing about my nudie bar days and I'm thinking of an actual 2-story strip club in the US (Providence, RI) where I've done those things... though they'll usually want at least $2 out of you before moving on to the next guy seated at the stage. :) Grabbing ass always seems to be okay, gotta be a little more discreet with the tits maybe... actually one time I discreetly fingered a girl while she was on stage tending to me... I really don't know how I got away with that... in my defence, I was pretty drunk. :)
Lap dances are full contact and, depending on the vantage point of the goon supervising the proceedings, can be quite fun. One time I had a girl pull my dick out of my pants and put it in her mouth, without my asking... unexpected to say the least!

I missed this report

I will comment later Willred

Best Regards

Smuler

PS- I looked for your girl @ Oase

I didn't see her

A great trip report

Some comments

In and Out is fantastic..give it another shot

Chula Vista is the hood..Stay at this property :

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review ... ornia.html

Toronado and O'Briens- two of my favorites .

Pliny- the best beer in the world IMHO

Blind Lady Ale House..I never knew of this place ??? :
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/19 ... ew=beerfly

Thanks for showing me a new place
I'll check it out during my Xmas trip ( If I'm not in Amsterdam , that is... )

Hong Kong-- fantastic club

FYI- 100 dollars is a fortune there . No more than 80 in the future...OK

I have to say that you are crazy to waste a couple dollars, and walking to the border...

You really have to worry about the cops down there

If they see you limping around, it's only fuel for them to say you are fucked up/ drunk in public, and then they will shake you down for money

Remember, you are a visitor there..with no rights

I have seen full blown military on the streets stopping people at random

These guys don't fuck around...

OK..back to happier thoughts...

You then went to Lajolla ??

You should have gone to the beach, as it's some of the best in So Cal

And I have a question..

You mentioned some place " Grantville " that you took a trolley from ?

I have no idea where that is...

Best Regards

Smuler

Smuler,

Great time in SD and TJ! Thanks for the heads up and actually hoping to go again before the end of the year.

Grantville is way north a couple of stops past Qualcomm Stadium on the blue line (I think). Nice station but almost an hour from the border because of how slow you go through downtown.

Blind Lady is nice and has interesting selections. It was strange that they didn't check my ID but stamped my hand around 1pm. I suppose they had a cover later that night. About 5 minutes from Toronado.

I think it's amazing that all those local places have such good beer choices at reasonable prices. New Orleans is definitely not a good craft beer town and if you could open a place such as those, each beer would be $10+.

I think the In N Out was just cold by the time I ate it. About 20-30 minutes after receiving at drivethru. I do plan to try again on next trip though.

I actually had reservations at the Otay Mesa Holiday Inn but changed at the last moment to Best Western. With the 3 stays, got their $50 gift card promotion (which is being used in September in Aachen-good times await, 8 days in and around BE and Germany).

La Jolla: I had planned to head over to the beach but I must say I am spoiled by east coast 90+ degree temps and 80 degree water. The Pacific is just too big and cold (learned that lesson a few years back in Hawaii- it was "cold" even over a 4th of July weekend) and the temptation of beach combing in lower 70's wasn't enough enticement.

Willred

P.S. Thanks for checking for my chick. She sent me a text a few weeks ago. I normally get one each month asking when I will return. I keep pushing the date later and later but have no plans to re-visit that location. How are their outdoor renovations going? I do remember during my outdoor liaison with said chick during March, the work crew decided to take their break and check us out while I was pinned against the wall giving and receiving oral!

Looky what was just in the NY times :

http://travel.nytimes.com/2012/05/27/tr ... ref=travel

Best Regards

Smuler

If the border can be a hassle (one night was a five hour queue right?) - why not stay in a hotel in Tijuana for a couple of nights?