Ok...here's the deal. I'm 32...been a stoner since college. But I don't roll joints. I've tried a few times..they end up too loose and falling apart...or too tight and can't hit. I should be ashamed..but as long as I get my fix...I'm a happy boy. And the bong always tastes so much cleaner & smooth.

I can pack a mean glass pipe or bong!! Used a vaporizor. But I want to gel with my surroundings.

What should an American (cool American at that....I'm not a square like you see on TV) do about having a smoke. I have no problems chatting up about the various kinds of bud...and would love to hear stories about the strains, growing etc. But when it comes down to having a smoke...should I bring my own clean glass pipe; do they have pipes, bongs or vaporizors I can borrow....and would that invite others to join in. Here when we smoke out of the bong; we generally have several friends around to share the buzz.

I read also that if I am smoking from a glass peice with others; if it is already slobbered on, I should not wipe it clean as it is offensive. Anything else I should know about that may be offensive?

I'm there for work (music industry) and last thing I want is to cause any problems. I'm about having some fun, enjoying all that there is to enjoy. Watching the lovely ladies (pro and of course non-pro...mmmmm Dutch...) and maybe making some new friends. I'm going with someone who has been before; so he knows where to go and where not (ie tourist traps), I just want to make sure I'm not another dumb American to talk about....and will probably be on my own quite a bit as well.

Anyway...thanks in advance to anyone who may share answers.

Most of the Coffe shops have bongs. What I do is buy a 10 - 15 euro glass pipe at the start of my trip then bin it at the end. Customs at home can get excited about a used pipe.
The best way if you find it difficult to roll a joint is to go to the Old Man shop on Dam Straat. they sell 3 empty cones for a euro, then you just make your tobacco / weed or hash mix and fill it up, pack it down and smoke it.
Pre rolled joints are also available, but quality of contents can be variable to say the least.
On numerous occasions I have been sitting at the bar in a coffee shop and a person bought some weed and asked me to roll one for them, it's a great way to start a conversation, and if you are 21 with big tits, blond hair and nice blue eyes, I will roll a joint for you any day of the week


ZUNK

lofisamuri, you don't roll joints & you've been burning how long.....? Sorry, had to give you some shit about that. You should see the joints I roll. I make "pouches" to put the weed into & roll it. Got a volcano 1/2 year back & I love my new toy. Though I haven't turnt my back on my glass.
Anyway, over there in the Dam. Most coffeeshops have bongs (some ask for a deposit-in case of breakage), pipes (metal,glass), & vaporizors (some shops vary as far as which type they have) that you can use. Not sure about cleaning the glass piece off being offensive-I would think it's offensive to hand a sloppered bowl to someone. Never experienced anyone being offended about it in my trips there.
What do you do for the music industry? Yes, there are beautiful women EVERYWHERE...EVERYWHERE. Ahh.....What a Country! Try to make an effort to not be the stereotypical American. I was there this past june with a friend & he was that "American". We went to a greek restaurant, they have a menu outside in Dutch/Greek/English. I ask him "Do you see anything you like?" He looks for about 5 seconds & says, "I can't understand this." He never made an effort. He just looked & expected English to right there Bold & in his face. The Dutch make it easy for us, but we are in their country. Little effort. It's a safe city, just don't make yourself a target, a mark & everything'll be cool. Ignore the dealers/junkers/beggers on the streets/alleys. Don't stop to talk-just keep walking.
Diz34

Be aware that many pre-rolled joints in coffee shops are not 100% weed but are blended with tobacco so ask "what's in there?" before you buy. Personally I do like zunkii suggested - I buy a cheap pipe that I dispose of before heading home. There are plenty of shops where you can buy inexpensive pipes. I'd recommend against bringing your own pipe/bong unless you intend to leave it in NL.

Since you'll be heading back into the US where my flights from AMS are always greeted by a drug sniffing doggie I take the extra precaution of packing a couple of re-sealable plastic sandwich baggies. Whenever I buy some weed, which often comes in a little wax paper envelope, I put the envelope in the baggie and seal it so trace elements won't work their way out of the envelope and mix with the lint in my pockets which would get the customs pooch all excited when I come home. Of course you can buy baggies in Amsterdam too but there are more fun things to shop for, I think.

Being that you're aware of the potential for being a cultural jackass suggests to me that you probably won't be. In my experience it's usually the person who wouldn't dream of asking how to fit into another culture that gets ridiculed. Just do like dizbuster34 says, make a little effort, and you'll have a great visit and you won't be "that American".

i can't roll to save my life either... :( i am so pumped that on our next trip my girlfriend is coming so she can roll one(or twelve ;) ) for us...

i always buy a pipe and then toss it... or like last time i brought the glass one back. we hadn't smoked pot in it though... only salvia..

peace.

StarrDluX-You could always stash your glass somewhere & hope it's there when you go back. That's what I did last year after the Cup was over & it was there in June when I went back. Very Sweet!! Hoping it's still there when I arrive for the Cup this year. Salvia huh? That's some tripped out shit! Twice I've done it & shot straight to 5th level. It was like Neo in the Matrix. I felt as though I was only then waking up & everything up to that point was a lie. Visions & I felt like I turnt into tin. Trippy as FUCK!!! I'll do it again, but ONLY under the right conditions.

Dude, you have to tell me if it is still there, and also the hiding place.
When we are over there, of course!

Hey guys,

I'm all thumbs and can't roll a joint with out some help and that help is a trusty old dollar bill. Just put yout regular sized rolling paper in between a dollar, create a slight pouch, load up your dope and use the dollar to provide traction as you roll it up. You'll need to practice at first, but if it works for me, a real klutz with my hands, it will work for you.

Good deal everyone...thanks for the info. I'm thinking I'll prob buy a small glass pipe to save myself., but I had not intentions of bringing a dirty piece back home, as stated the doggies are pretty good sniffers. Yea...I know...I've been smokin how long...like I said I can pack a mean bowl. lol. Maybe I'll find a lil hottie that can twist a fattie.

As for my work...I work with an indie record label; we're going to a music convention. What a job right??? And yea, I don't really plan on being 'that American"....lol. I can't stand them here.

All I want is to blend in, absorb the vibes & smoke and have a blast. Aside from the cafes....anything else a virgin should do or places I should go? I'll have an extra day or two of free time...and of course nights to kill. I'll hit a few clubs; but any museums, kamers (giggity) or anything else one would recommend for a first timer?

Thanks again to everyone!

" A little hottie that can twist a fattie " you said you're in the music biz, that sounds like the title to a new hit right there. Have a great time, and don't be affraid to ask the guy or gal next to you for a hand rolling. I have rolled doobs for many in AMS and it's a great way to start a conversation.

Peace,
Paraquat

P.S. How are the studies going Luther?

Mr Joehorse-I'll show you my bowl's "secret hiding" place over there. If it's still there.....

Cafe Etiquitte: I don't know actually, I just smile and behave politely, start conversations with the people that work there, and talk to them as people, not employees eager to take your order. Half the time the places I liked I was there a few times a day every day or every other day, that sort of thing. Figure out nice places to have a seat, smoke or coffee while you're on that side of town. There are lots of unspoken rules, like don't bring other peoples food or drinks into the coffeeshop and then eat it at their table instead of ordering theirs. Don't walk in just to use their bathroom and then head right back out the door. common sense stuff really.

Well, I have a serious suggestion for you, find a nice quiet place (actually it happened to me while I was sitting at the counter at the Old Church coffeeshop), right next to oude kerk in the RLD, and it was a little early, not very busy at all really, and I was having a conversation with the woman behind the counter, using their waterpipe, learning a few dutch phrases and I asked her to roll some joints for me, and she said sure! and I watched her a few times and got the hang of doing it her way, a neat method putting in a filter that's open at the mouthpiece end, and making it a little bit of a cone shape, just the right size to fit in one of those free plastic test-tube joint carrying containers so you can carry a few for later without worrying about them bending or breaking in your pocket. Once you've seen it a few times and practiced a few more it's easy. many ways to roll, using a grinder or not, filter or not, tobacco or not, etc.
Or if you go to Grey Area, on the singel canal, they have huge (too big, dammit!) glass jerome baker waterpipes you can use as well as vaporizers, and if it isn't busy the tall thin bald guy behind the counter would teach you how to roll a few. While there try the yellowcab or the grey mist. If you go to popeyes the co-owner (an indian guy with long hair, really nice guy) washes the glass waterpipe perfectly between customers before he gives it to you and encourages you to take a closer look at the selection using the microscope on the counter. Nice guy, kept giving me things, once he realized I was there for months, he'd see me and run outside just to say hi, gave me samples of his cup-winning entries, 'here, try a little of this, it's something I won an honorable mention for during the cup last week, or something new I'm thinking of adding to the menu, try it for free and let me know what you think' that sort of thing. Once they get to know you it's hard to pay for things, they're always just giving it to you for free. Dutch Flowers was the same way. A little gruff when you walk in for the first time and then they just open their hearts up to you when you become a regular, and then half the time they won't take your money when you order a coffee or a lighter, they refused to charge me and just gave it for free.

Well....thanks to Global Warming, Mother Earth's wrath or whatever karma we can call it...

Hurricane Wilma decided it was best for me to stay home.....in the dark.

Looks like I have a full year to practice rolling joints now.

Grrrr.......whatya gonna do.

Thanks to all who have been kind enought to reply.

Lofi-Samuri

I usually take my trusty rolling machine with me. I can roll a passable joint on a goody day, but more often than not it ends up "baggy" and loose (especially if it's not my first toke of the day and my co-ordination is shot!)... rather than appear to be a clumsy dope-smoking virgin I prefer to use the machine to produce a nice, neat king-size.

The other advantage of this is you can control your own joint strength - I've done the ready-rolled spliffs and they can sometimes be just a bit too much for a chilled evening sundowner. I know my limits, and stick to them since my first visit resulted in a "whitey" and too many lost party hours feeling shitty.

I've returned several times (home to England) with my roller and never been stopped, but taking into account the above, I'll probably buy one and dispose of it like you guys with the pipes.

What is the world coming to when guys can't roll a joint. Practice, practice, practice.

And to think when I was younger I used to be able to roll a joint with one hand...

I know, effin' amateurs!
But I still like to smoke out of a glass pipe- though I can roll like a mofo!!

a mate of mine can roll a joint one handed whilst riding his motorbike!!

Yeah, I've got a bud of mine that can drive & roll at the same time. I prefer to roll ahead of the time so I can drive & puff at the same time.