Last time I was in the Dam, I headed straight to the RLD after checking into my hotel. I had a tall, black-haired goddess on the Tromp about 2-3 kamers down, walking towards the canal. I have a ritual (which I'm sure many of you also do!) of smoking some weed in a nice coffeeshop after any session with a girl. Kind of a celebration. Anyway, it was still very early, and I had heard so much about Barney's world famous, can't be beat, incredible breakfast, that I decided to head there.

After finding Barneys on the corner of a very cool street, I entered the packed little cafe, and realized that I would have to share a table. I asked the couple sitting there, and they had no problem with that. The very overworked, but very nice waitress approached me and I ordered their famous breakfast, which she recommended. I asked if I could get weed there. She politely told me that that was sold a couple of doors down. As I walked in, I realized that this was the "real," or original Barneys, and the place I was sitting in was the add-on Brasserie. Anyway, the counter guy recommended the Amnesia Haze. I brought it back to my table and proceeded to smoke. Wow! Great stuff. As I was lost in my high, I realized that the place was becoming almost unbelievably packed. Everyone had to share tables. Regardless, I was very happy. Then my food came. I can't even think of the right words to adequately convey how horribly pathetic this "food" was. Ghastly. Nauseau-inducing. It almost looked like some really bad plastic, shrivelled up, fake-food with a side order of grease. In the States, I can confidently say that any Denny's, IHOP, or even McDonald's (!!) serves much better breakfast food. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I assumed it was just me. I looked at the food that the people next to me were eating (some kind of pancakes). It looked even worse. I then turned around and looked at everone else's food. Their food also looked ghastly. Maybe the chef was sick and this was just a waitress/stoner filling in? No. I talked to a friend about their food when I got home and he said the same thing.
After they put a homeless mother and son at my table who ended up fighting (!), with the police being called, etc.I got the hell out.

I finished my smoke (excellent stuff!!) strolling through my favorite neighborhood, the Jordaan. Except for the smoke, the whole experience at Barney's seemed like a nightmare. Anyway, about one hour or so into my walk my whole body felt like it was on fire - but in a good way. Mr. sex-type thing below was standing at full attention, and demanded immediate satisfaction. I almost ran back to the RLD. I found an absolute beauty about 3 kamers down Dolleb, heading towards the canal. She was easily a 9. 26 years old, blondish (I was high), Dutch, but I didn't get her name. Considering I had just made a transcontinental flight on 1-2 hours sleep, was jet-lagged, and high, I figured this might not be easy, so I gave her 100 Euros so I could take my time. I ended up with her doing cowgirl on top of me!! Yeah!! Because of the weed, my orgasm seemed to taked 1/2 hour!! Everything was in slow motion. My body actually trembled and shook when I came. I was screaming the whole time. It must have been so odd for her - when finished, she asked me if I was alright. I had the biggest grin on my face.

Anyway, I really got away from the intended subject of this post, but I would like to know:

1) Did the fact that I went to the Brasserie instead of the coffeeshop have anything to do with the bad food I got?
2) Does anyone else have any rituals after a good shag in the RLD?
3) Does anone else get this major aphrodesiac-type response about 1-2 hors after smoking weed? (It happened to me after every joint I smoked)

1) I have no idea about Barney's.

2) I've only been to the RLD once at present so I haven't developed any rituals. However, after my last visit I did pop into the nearby Bulldog, bought a drink and rolled up a spliif and smoked, quite contented with myself.

3) I've always found weed to have an aphrodisiac effect, whether it be the bog-standard resin that we get in my area or some grass/skunk with more potency and taste. An ex gf once gave me a bj while I was smoking a joint and it was actually a really incredible experience.

glad you enjoyed the smoke at barneys..
i think the place is crap,over-rated,very expensive,poor service..,rude staff..
..made the mistake of bringing some of their white widow back to the uk...very poor smoke.

My first trip I was hoping Barney's was going to be a tradition as well, but was disappointed like yourself. It wasn't sooo bad but in comaprison to the other local eating experiences it was a 3.5/10. I did enjoy the coffee most. Never did go next door and buy their weed.

Barneys when it was just the coffeeshop that served food was amazing. You got a really good breakfast and the best cup of tea in the whole of Amsterdam not to mention the top notch weed.

Once the brasserie opened it all seemed to change and I haven't been to Barneys since 2003, it's a long way to walk for a substandard breakfast and attitude from the staff.

Dave

+1 mate...in the late 90s barneys was excelllent..a proper full english fry up..and excellent weed..

Haven't tried the food, but barney's has some interesting weed. It's hit or miss there. I had laughing buddha, which sucked. I bought some Willie Nelson from the cup winning batch and I didn't like it. I saved it. I tried it months later and it was amazing and almost worthy of winning the cup. I prob will go back for more. It's a neat place, but I really like Umma Gumma a block away. Much cooler to hang.