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Sex clubs come in a variety of flavours, but all fall into one of three categories. There are large and elaborate sex clubs with bars, saunas, jacuzzis and dance floors employing twenty or more women. There are privehuizen (private houses) that are sometimes no larger than private homes where a small number of prostitutes wait for clients. The final category are the parenclubs (adultclubs), who offer extensive facilities catering to the swinger crowd.
Visiting the clubs can make for a memorable evening. It can also be problematic. One reason for this is due to what we call the taxi scam. It works like this: for every customer brought to a club through the driver’s recommendation the driver receives a whopping € 75.- kickback from the club. What used to be a payment to the driver for delivering a new customer to an establishment has now become a hidden tax upon you, the unwary vacationer. Whether you arrive by taxi or not, the taxi union expects and gets it cut. It has escalated to the point where it's fair to call it outright extortion; the driver is paid whether he recommended the place to you or not, and you are either asked for it directly upon entry, or it is added to your bill. The driver sits outside and waits until he is paid, sometimes he will follow you in and remind the manager that he hasn't received his money yet---in addition to the fare+tip he has already 'graciously' accepted. Best advice is: Don't give the exact address to the taxi driver, but something nearby, lose the taxi, then walk to the club. Never ask a taxi driver to recommend a club.
At this writing there are only two clubs left that manage to avoid this racket, the Jan Bik and Societé Anonyme, and the last is suspect because of a recent dramatic increase in their prices.
The other item that contributes to the thorny nature of club going is what we call the champagne hustle. The girls are required to drink only champagne if offered a drink. If you pass on purchasing the extravagantly priced full bottles, you'll be asked to purchase the smallest size, the piccolo. Most often this champagne is some concoction sans-alcohol, carbonated and coloured sugar water. One reason for the fake champagne is obvious; the girls cannot sit night after night drinking gallons of alcohol without serious nightly damage. The other, and more important reason is that nightly sales of this crap contribute mightily to the profits of everyone involved, including the girls, who are given a commission, and since the girls make quite a bit less than half of what the hourly fee is, they can be quite aggressive. In addition some of the more expensive clubs like Club Elegance put quite a bit of pressure on their ladies to sell the bubbly and this pressure translates into pressure upon you.
Here's a tip: Offer the lady a reasonable tip, and the champagne hustle will most often evaporate.
Prices vary according to the season, time of the week, and perhaps the whim of the manager that day. It's best to call first in advance, and get that day’s market price.
Amstel Club Exclusif
Opened from 14:00-04:00 M-F, 22:00-04:00 weekends. Taxi Scam. Although a favourite for a long time, this club has begun to resemble a few of our least favourite places, selection wise. Although the bar area and the rooms are quite nice, there's no real reason to come here, as it's a bit out of the way. or you are doing something at the nearby RAI.
Nicolaus Witsenkade 38,
Call club for complimentary chauffeur.
Where it may appear that those responsible for the interior design of Yab Yum were chiefly inspired by the designers of Graceland, Club Elegance, on the other hand, lives up to it's name: Elegant--- but in a run down sort of way which you'll happily miss if you go after dark.
The building itself dates from 1840, and appropriately enough, it was built to house the mistress of some rich burgher of days long past. Although it cannot be possible, many of the interior furnishings would seem to date from that period also, although we are uncertain as to the origin of the brass strip-tease pole, which graces the small platform in the lounge which plays host to the nightly gyrations of some young lovely. Perhaps it's Louis XIV?
Admission is charged (€ 75) at the door, 5 drinks are included. If none of the women on duty strike your fancy, you may leave at any time, but kiss the admission charge good-bye. We can attest that there was quite a numerous and varied assortment of ladies available, we counted at least 20 on a recent Friday night; someone for every taste. At random intervals during the night there is also a brief, not too interesting, strip tease show...it seems that if any of the women feel like it they perform.
Pricey; and except for the interior which you're paying for, you'll do just as well elsewhere for far less € €.€ .
Opened from 22:00 till 10:00. One of the few clubs we haven't visited. To quote directly from their webpage "Our 25 ravishing hostesses will make you feel comfortable and they will "forfill" all your fantasies".
Pickup service from your hotel is available. Get forfilled.
tel: 020 - 676 24 20
The other club we haven't been to. And never will. "Champagnes" (sic) and "a exclusive nightclub" (sic) await you---out in the vicinity of the RAI. "Free" limo service is available.
Taxi scam. We've not much to say about this place, nothing good anyway. On a recent visit, Golden Key had changed it's policy to charging a flat rate at the door. This means that if you see no one to your liking, which is likely here, you are out the door fee. The selection of women range from below average to positively hideous. If you do decide to go...well, you were warned. Not recommended
Also known as JB, this run down fuck factory is the cheapest club in Amsterdam at approx € 70,-. per hour. You'll see why if you decide to go.The selection of woman is usually witheringly bad, but to be fair, on recent visits there were a number, mainly eastern Europeans, who were not that bad, but that effect is ruined by the other walking nightmares we witnessed. In general though, as someone recently said, "the women seem resigned to their own unattractiveness". Tacky bar, tiny crummy rooms, and let us not forget to mention the most memorable feature of the place, the sofas. They're abominable, and appear to be collected off the street when people throw them out, they're covered in filthy fitted bed sheets full of cigarette burns, the cushions are so worn out it's like sitting in a hole. The effect is one of tumbling over backwards just before you pass out from the blood rushing to your brain. Unlike the other clubs, hanging around is not desirable, seating is scarce and excruciating, and if you've not made a selection in a short period of time, get out. You'll be glad you did, you were beginning to get real depressed. Some swear by this place, but for us, it just makes us swear.
Incidentally, Jan Bik was raided (March '02) for employing non EU nationals. The eastern girls are gone as of now. But things change in two years, so you never know.
True story: In the old Cyber C@fé Amsterdam on the Nieuwendijk one afternoon a few years ago, around the corner and a few blocks down the street from JB, we were finishing up whatever we'd been trying to do on their crappy rent-a-computers when in stroll two of the girls from the club. Jenny, who recognized us from a visit to the club several nights before, was glad to see me as no one at the club had any idea how to use the Internet, and no one there had actually seen any of the World Sex Guide posts then being posted that they were eager to read. She and her accomplice asked us to show them how to operate the thing and we took them to the URL. Then we spent an hour browsing the WSG looking at other cities in Holland for other clubs for them to work in. They both hated the JB.
Princess Gentlemen's Club
It's opened from 20:00-04:00, only opened weeknights, and they provide pickup and delivery service. Drinks not included.
Royal Society Models
Located very near Societe Anonyme as the address indicates, it is in fact the very same place, but apparently operates with a different name during the daytime 02:00-20:00.
tel: 020- 616-0314
A favourite of ours and of visitors to this website for a long time. Complimentary drinks. A lower daytime rate is in effect till 7 pm.
A way out of the taxi scam: Ask the driver to take you to the nearby Cafe Ter Brugge (Cafe Bridge, Overtoom 578), go inside, have a beer, wait for the taxi to leave and walk back to Ria's. We have now saved you € 75.
Oct 1, 2004---A fire broke out on the second floor and made its way up the stairway to the third floor, destroying the premises. Three were injured, one lady died in hospital the following day.
The club rebuilt and reopened in record time.
Located near the Rijksmuseum, easy walking distance from the Leidseplein and Casino. If you haven't been here since before May 2001, a pleasant surprise awaits you. Societé Anonyme is much improved; the bar has been remodeled and enlarged, the selection of woman was greatly improved and they have added two additional "themed" rooms. Also accessible by trams 16, 24, 25 from Centraal Station, get off at the Heineken Brewery, and walk a short distance to #64. Call club for complimentary chauffeur. Open 20:00-04:00.
Closed as of Jan 2008. Read about the circumstances of the closing here.
We had written: As you empty your pockets into a tray prior to passing through the airport-style metal detector, and are then frisked by the unsmiling SS lookalike upon emerging, you may be forgiven for wondering “Is this hell, or is this Amsterdam’s self-proclaimed 'most exclusive' brothel?” Unfortunately, the answer is “yes” to both questions. Welcome to Yab Yum. Before you are admitted further, you are led to the cashier booth (complete with an electronic international currency exchange display) where you are charged €75,- admission, which include drinks. At this point you could use a drink, anyway. We will refrain from commenting in detail upon the taste displayed by the interior furnishings, but you could safely characterize it as whorehouse moderne.
Observing the hostesses on display in the room; one's impression is that the woman are no better looking or more sophisticated than any of the better looking woman in the other clubs, or even the window girls in the red light district---many of whom are stunning.
Okay, now for the juicy bits. Kevin Costner was in Amsterdam a while back to promote the opening of one of his many recent bombs, "The Postman". From the business card we saw presented at the front desk, in lieu of immediate payment, Warner Bros/ Netherlands apparently maintain an account at Yab Yum. How convenient! Costner and his WB entourage are at the bar---Costner was extremely wasted and looking very glazed. Several hours later, upon our own return from upstairs research, Costner and company are back at the bar---in worse shape than before. The excitement of the women at having him in the place didn't last long. According to the girls I spoke to he was rude, arrogant, insulting, abusive and ... ah...excuse the expression...a bad fuck (in a rather abbreviated trip upstairs). One girl left the upstairs party in tears. Unlike the roles he seems to insist upon giving himself in his poorly received films, he is no hero.
The foolish gentleman who treated us that evening footed the bill...a mere $7000US. Recommended for the nouveau rich, those with hefty expense accounts, or the recently bereaved in need of tumble therapy who have inherited a large sum of cash.
On successive visits we noted varying prices, please be aware that pries when given can fluctuate.
A Privehuis does not have a bar, although you can still get drinks in the room. Instead, a Privehuis offers discretion and anonymity. In practice, this means you will never meet other clientele in the place. When you arrive the manageress will show you to a reception lounge. All of the available ladies will come in one by one and introduce themselves. If none of the ladies are to your liking, you can simply leave; there is no entrance fee. If you've made a choice you then tell the manageress, who will notify the lady who in turn presents herself and escorts you to the room. Note that privehuizen are all free of the taxi and champagne tricks which prevail in the clubs.
One block up and across the street from Ria's, who also own it.
Willem De Zwijgerlaan 70,
Asmara has many similarities to Vienna Massage. The first being that it is not in practical walking distance from the city center. The best way to get to Asmara is by tram. It can be reached by the #12 or #13 tram depending on your starting point. Get off the tram at the W. de Zwijgerlaan stop, cross the street and head a short two block walk down the rows of housing buildings. You will find Asmara on the right, a wooden door on the corner facing the road. Ring the bell, don't be shy!
You will most likely be greeted by a pleasant woman in her thirties, who will ask if you have been there before. The format at Asmara is much like that of Vienna, all sessions include erotic body-to-body massage. You then choose from a menu of other activities you might want to engage in with the girl.
The hostess will then tell you how many girls are working and ask if you would like to see them. Asmara typically has between two and five girls working. They almost always have young girls (many Dutch, some Moroccan). The rooms at Asmara are only slightly varied, but all have shower (no jazuzzi), bed, mirrors and are clean. You shower and are then treated to a very pleasing warm-up of oily body-to-body massage and then on to the main course. After repeated visits with a favorite girl you may vary the routine and go directly to sex or whatever your desire. You can extend your time in 30 minute increments. When your session sadly comes to an end, you shower, the girl cleans the room and dresses. Then she will walk you to the door, where the hostess will inquire as to your satisfaction and your girl will give you the traditional three kisses and out you go into the street with a smile on your face.
They also claim to have escort service available. The only thing missing from Asmara is that no drinks have ever been offered, but with as many young beauties as typically on offer it hardly seems a problem.
Barndesteeg 9 (The Wallen)
Important to know is that this is a massage parlour that only offers massage, no sex; they very thoroughly make sure that you are aware of that when you enter. Chiang Mai has a larger lounge (no bar) as the meeting place, where it is comfortable to sit and have a beer, and make your selection of masseuse. Normally there are 5-7 Thai ladies at Chiang Mai, from 20 to around 30 years old, and they are generally friendly, slim and some are even rather cute. While the lounge has rather warm lighting and ambiance, the rooms upstairs are white and brightly lit, they're rather clinical. There are showers also, shared between the rooms. The massage varies a little in style between the girls. But in general the massage at Chiang Mai is good and in traditional Thai style. The most expensive 1 hour option includes body to body massage and hand relief but NO sex. Because of the low price (the girls only get to keep half of what you pay), there is a practice to tip. There is not a strong push, but normally a friendly gentle question pops up at the end, if you had not tipped already. But no large amounts (no scams!), and it is a good place, so a tip is natural. Chiang Mai can serve as a good appetizer to a visit to the RLD, and it is also definitively a good place to go to after a "long day in the RLD" as well. The massage IS good.
If you're looking for "options", this nicely-appointed prive might be what you're looking for, it all depends on how you interpret the word "options". Tram #2 will take you there, get off at Amstelveensweg, and you're one minute walk away.
Admiraal de Ruiterweg 419,
Love Club 21
tel: 020-620-5307 (The Wallen)
Love Club 21 does not have a bar, so maybe the word club is misleading. It's more like a private house in the Dutch definition, do not expect a fancy club! You are greeted in a small lounge, where you are asked to make your choice of the available girls. The lounge is small, and not "inspiring", you're going to sit there cooling your heels (and possibly your desire) watching a TV amongst a clutter of magazines and disinterested girls, while arrangements are made and a drink is brought. Facilities in general could be kindly summarized as "nothing fancy". The private rooms and the beds are at least a little larger and better than the RLD rooms, and there are showers, which are shared between the rooms. There are usually 4-5 ladies there in total, normally Thai. The age range of the ladies seems to usually be between early 20's and late 30's. In comparison with the ladies available nearby in the RLD, Love Club 21 does not favourably compare, but what you get at this kind of place is a little bit more privacy and relaxed atmosphere. The "menu" has several options, from 30 minute massage-only to 60 minute massage and sex If you are really out to get a good massage, we would recommend Chiang Mai. If you want sex as a part of the package, Love Club 21 is the alternative. Our impression so far is "average", and the ladies do have a nasty habit of bleedling you for more money and time.
Mind the first couple of steps in the entrance! Quality of rooms is VERY good, Jacuzzis are available for a little extra, and adult films are shown on the televisions in the room, if that's your thing. One characteristic of Park 118 that we really like, is the laid back attitude; friendly and casual. On our visits there appear to have been between 5-7 ladies available at a time. The ladies typically vary on different days of the week, the afternoon, and the evening. The beauty and age also typically vary a lot.
Located near Amstel Station. Formerly an annex of Vienna Massage as mentioned above, it's now owned by Park 118. Open from 09:00-24.00, closed Sunday.
We're not sure why they include "massage" in their name, as they most certainly fall into the "prive" category. But massage is an option, however. There used to be two Vienna's, but the other one at Middenweg was sold off. This Vienna is one of the few clubs in Amsterdam that is not within walking distance from the city center. The simplest way of getting there is to take tram 25 towards President Kennedylaan, all the way to the last station. The white door of Vienna Massage is very discrete (just a small gold plate) and easy to miss. So remember the street name and door number. It is close to the RAI conference center if you would be using the trade fair excuse for a business trip to Amsterdam. Escort service is also available.
While few clubs in Amsterdam grasp the concept of "regular"
massage and "intimate" massage, both Love Club 21 and Vienna do, even if they tend to be more "sexually" oriented. The rooms are large enough, with nice interiors, spotlessly clean and either with shower or bath. There are 7 rooms, and you would find 4-7 girls working there, from 10am-11pm. A nice extra is the cigar on your way out, along with a welcome drink while you select a girl. The host(s) and owner are nice and polite, and make you feel at ease. You can pay with major credit cards (10% surcharge) and Dutch PIN (no surcharge). The menu of services is extensive, and range from "regular" massage, to the all inclusive (massage, body to body massage, shower together with the girl and "intimate") .Extensions for all menu items except the "regular" massage can be bought in 15 minute increments of time, which makes Vienna attractive for long-term encounters. The menu is fairly comprehensive, with some girls offering SM. Unfortunately (read fortunately!) we have to confess never having tried that, but we've always left Vienna with a big smile. Recommended
Sabailand Traditional Thai Massage
For anyone in need of a good Thai pounding, we can recommend Sabailand, in the Jordaan section of town. Current rates are 70,- /hr 35,- 1/2hr. Apparently there are 3 ladies on duty at any time. Although at the time of our visit, the door had a small sign affixed informing one of "geen sex", this is, as it turns out, not very informative at all. A variety of additional services were offered towards the end of our massage, in exchange for a small tip (which surprised us because we'd taken that little sign on the front door seriously), though we were informed by our helpful masseuse that the rates vary widely depending on the girl---some of these services, to our surprise, are not those you'd find on offer in the RLD proper---but we'll leave it to your imagination as to what they were, and hopefully future visitors will not keep you in the dark, as we so delight in doing.
Siranie Thai Massages
Admiraal de Ruijterweg 402, Bos En Lommer
Siri has moved, their new address is listed above. Please note that we have not visited them at their new location. Yet. What we said about them below reflects their former location, so particulars referring to location are no longer accurate---we're sure details as to service have remained as said below:
In the east, on the river, this discrete walk-up has a small plaque next to the door buzzer, which states they are providers of fisiotherapie and sportsmassage. You're met at the door, and led to a waiting room---the smell of rice comes from the big rice cooker in the corner. The walls are decorated with pics of various Thai people we haven't a clue about---as well as an assortment of Thai bric-a-brac. We select our masseuse and she leads us to our room. Our masseuse leaves and returns momentarily with a basin of warm soapy water, a towel, and disrobes. It gets much better, but we'll skip the details---as they may not apply to you, and your own mileage may vary. We left, how do you say it, very refreshed :-) A very nice touch, is the shower you're given afterwards. They've been in business about 8 mos at the time of this writing. No website. In case you wish to explore other nearby options, Siri is in the same general vicinity as Vienna Massage. Ceintuurbaan is nearby by which leads to Park 118 and further up, Ruysdaelkade.
Siri is closed on weekends.
Otherwise known as swinger clubs, a parenclub specializes in public group action and voyeurism. Facilities vary from extensive spa-like establishments to simple bars. Note that parenclubs are all free of the taxi and champagne tricks which prevail in the clubs.
What's in a name?
Paradise is not for the timid and is relatively unknown to tourists. If you think you'd enjoy a large spa/disco/bar, where everyone is dressed in towels, having sex all over the place, you might also think Paradise a fitting name for this place. Singles are admitted Monday through Friday, Saturdays are reserved for couples. In practice it's very rare to find a single woman, but on Thursday nights professional girls are brought in and available for "gang-bang" nights. Group rooms, private rooms, lounges, complete spa facilities, large bar and disco; the club is quite nice. Admission charges vary according to the day. Included with the admission price: a towel, a locker, and an account at the bar. We like the scene here. Recommended
If you're not exhausted by the Thursday night gangbang party at Paradise, Candy Club hosts a gangbang party on Friday nights in their rather small bar. Saturday nights are couples only, and Sunday nights are "Pleasuredome" nights where all are welcome. No facilities of any kind are provided, you leave your clothes where they drop, or you'd better find someplace to stash them. It's really this casual. Now enjoying it's 37th year, Candy Club is the oldest parenclub in Holland. Dance floor, disk jockey, and dark corners. Their slogan: "where everything is allowed and nothing is obliged".
Nassaukade 120, (Corner Hugo de Grootstraat)
An erotic cafe, literally a bar/cafe where the patrons provide the erotic entertainment. We've even seen people going at it on the bar. For more private moments of torture and bondage a dungeon is provided. Theme nights are scheduled regularly, and appropriate dress (and undress) is encouraged. Be sure to wear your leather, lingerie, rubber, or what have you.
Outside of Amsterdam
There are a number of venues in other cities within Holland that merit mention. We have selected three that offer unique environments. Please see their websites for details, and check our message board for postings.
Lagedijk 328 1544 BN Zaandijk,
Yes, it's really a boat, but once inside you'll never know it. Extensive facilities are provided, including a buffet. This club has been posted about quite often on our message board. Read the comments yourself, then go see for yourself what all the raves are about. Membership required except on Thursday night...see their site.
Middelweg 18, Moordrecht (near Gouda)
Couples only. One of the finest parenclubs in Europe, according to them. Well, not having had the chance to visit all the clubs in Europe, one still has to agree that this must be one of the finest.
Old National Road (N27) between Roermond
Kasteel Waterloo closed in October of 2007. We had said: Kasteel Waterloo (Waterloo Castle) is situated in beautifully tranquil grounds of some 35.000 sq.m. in area. It was built in 1922, and restored in 1997. It's spectacular, but it's not really a "kastel"---" large house" would be a more accurate description. Couples and singles.
1398 PN Muiden (Bij Amsterdam)
tel: 06 5049 5244
Located in Muiden, about 10-15 minutes drive from Amsterdam, Fata Morgana is a couples only club. Fata-Morgana is for mystique and ambience considered to be one of the "top" swingers clubs in Europe, they say so right on their very own website, where you should go to get further information.
FKK Sauna Clubs
A German idea imported recently into the Netherlands FKK means,
"Frei, Korper, Kultur" or "freedom of body culture" —sort of a nudists resort. They have gardens, jacuzzis, saunas, porn cinemas, bars, serve food, and all of this surrounded by available and often beautiful women. In other words, it's our dream of the ideal brothel. Use of all facilities, including that of the bars and dining, are included in the price of admission which generally stands at €50. Half-hour romps with the ladies are an additional €50, and occasionally "options" are available.
A list of German FKK / Sauna clubs, including current prices, throughout Germany can be found by clicking here.
5125 NB Hulten
Badda-Bing in Hulten...between Tilburg and Breda. We haven't been yet, so can't say anything. We have heard good and bad. Some love it, some do not. 10 ladies or so, so say the reports we have heard.
6045 CL Roermond-Melick
tel. +31-475-532 5969
We haven't been here yet, either. When we do we'll let you know. Word is that it is certainly worth a visit.
GoldenTime (Bruggen, Germany)
Heidweg 1, Bruggen, DE
We have been here. Repeatedly, in fact. The reason? We ♥ GoldenTime. If you care to sample an authentic German FKK, there is one reasonably close to Amsterdam. We say reasonably. GoldenTime, near Bruggen (Germany). is a bit of an effort to get to, even by auto, because of the long 2+ hour journey from Amsterdam, especially gruesome if, let's say, you're returning at 1.00am in the morning. We would suggest the train, which you can get very frequently from Centraal Station to Eindhoven...you change immediately to Venlo, your final destination, and it's a short ride further. Then book at a hotel and stay overnight. You can take a taxi back and forth to GoldenTime. GT will also arrange a hotel for those guests who stay too late, ask at the front desk as you check in. GoldenTime has been reported on frequently by members of our message board. Browse or do a search for "Golden Time".
A list of German FKK / Sauna clubs, including current prices, throughout Germany can be found by clicking here.
As much as we'd like to, we can't sample every club in Amsterdam. There are also a few we never intend to visit.
Asmara, W. de Zwygerlaan 70
Why Not Bar/Blue Boy Club,
Nieuwezijds Voorburgwal 28
tel: 020 627-4374, gay
Boys Club 21,
tel: 020-622-8828, gay
Boys for Men, Spuistraat 44
tel: 020-638-1512, gay
Chantal, Schipholweg 979
Club Escort Non-Stop,
Club LV , Middenweg 144
Club LV ,
(formerly Fernas Second Home)
Bos en Lommerweg 72
Golden Love Birds,
Adm. de Ruijterweg 248
Bos en Lommerweg 72
Love Club 21,
tel: 020-620-5307, thai massage+
Lost Angels (formerly Milau)
Bos en Lommerweg 177
Middenweg 89 A
Meerhuizenstraat 25 ll
Schipol Love Club,
tel: 02- 657-0009